As always, the following is intended as parody, with no intent to malign, insult, libel, or otherwise impugn the character of anyone involved.
RICHIE - Persona - Rare
Born in 1974, he lost his foster mother at a young
age (as he will tell anyone he encounters...repeatedly)
and took to a life of (very) petty crime. He was six
months shy of his 18th birthday when he stumbled upon
Duncan and Connor doing the "Knights of the Round Table
thing." Inexplicably, they decided not to kill him. He
was killed by a drugged out mugger a year later and
learned that he was immortal (about the same time that the
audience did). His weapon is a Spanish rapier, given to
him by Duncan MacLeod, his mentor.
Richie is so annoying _and_ distracting that an
opponent attacking him must discard one attack for every
attack he plays. However, any attack that successfully
hits Richie does an extra point of damage. You may have
up to 3 Master cards.
(Richie has Back Away, Battle Rage, Combination,
Continuity, Dodge, Master's Advice, Power Blow, and Trip
cards. Richie does _not_ have the Series Edition
Master's Block or Luck. There is one mandatory card that
Richie must play with - see below.)
"Foot in Mouth" - Richie - Event - Common - 1 - When this
card is drawn, you must discard all Specials (including
this one) in your hand. This card _must_ be included in
any Richie deck. (picture of Richie asking "What's up,
guys?" to Duncan and Hugh Fitzcairn just after Darius
dies, "The Hunters")
"Pea Green Jacket" - Richie - Object - Rare - 2 - Mild
nausea forces opponent to discard one additional attack
card for every attack he makes. This is cumulative with
Richie's persona ability. (picture of Richie from The
Gathering, or Family Tree)
"Motorcycle" - Richie - Object - Rare - 2 - As long as
this object is in play, any Back Away you discard either
through use or due to forced discard may be put back into
your hand. However, each time you return a Back Away to
your hand, there is a 2 in 6 chance Richie has an
accident, and this card is discarded. If a Location is in
play, the chance is 4 in 6. (picture of Richie wiping out
in warehouse, from "Eye For An Eye")
"Cheap Weapon" - Object - Uncommon - Unknown to you, your
mentor has given you an inferior-quality weapon, hoping it
will break at a critical moment and get you killed. You
have a +2 Ability as long as this card is in play.
However, any time you block a Power Blow, there is a 2 in
6 chance your weapon breaks instead. This card is then
discarded. You gain no benefit from any other Blade
Object as long as this object is in play. (Picture of Mac
handing Richie a Spanish rapier from "Eye For An Eye", or picture
of it being broken in "The End of Innocence.")
"Mac - Help Me!" - Nemesis - Richie - Event - 2 - Uncommon
- You may play this card if your opponent is Duncan
MacLeod. Duncan must discard entire hand and redraw at
beginning of their next turn. (any 1st season picture of
Mac wasting time bailing Richie out of trouble)
"Clinch" - Event/Ally - Uncommon - There is a one in six chance
of success. If successful, target takes 2 damage. If
target is Richie, chance of success is three in six. If
target is Duncan, this card can not be used, only
discarded. (picture of Peter Deluise from Family Tree,
bopping Richie upside of head)
"Food, Glorious Food!" - Richie - Event - 4 - Rare -
Opponent is so overwhelmed at sight of Richie stuffing his
face that they can only stand and stare in awe. Your
opponent can not dodge the next attack you play this turn.
(Picture of Richie eating hot dog from "Eye For An Eye")
"Search for True Past" - Richie - Event - 2 - Rare - You
may go through your discards and put one card back in your
hand. Lose 1 from your maximum Ability. (Picture of
Richie talking to person at desk from "Family Tree")
"Stunt Double" - Richie - Event - 3 - Rare - Play this
card in your defense phase to completely avoid any one
attack. You can not make a Power Blow this turn.
(Picture of "Richie" (yeah, right!) on motorcycle beating
up on Watchers attacking Duncan, from "The Hunters")
"Dumb Luck" - Richie - Event - 3 - Rare - Draw 3 cards at
random from your Endurance. Discard 2, keep one. You may
play another Special this turn. (picture of any number of
times Richie gets into trouble and is rescued by some deus
ex machina)
"Girlfriend" - Nemesis - Situation - Uncommon - You may
play this card if your opponent is Richie. You may then
play two Specials per turn, as long as at least one is a
Plot card. (picture of Richie with romantic interest from
"Sea Witch", or "Line of Fire", or "The Road Not Taken",
or "Revenge is Sweet", or "Free Fall", or "Under Color of
Authority")
"You're So...Muscular" - Nemesis/Amanda - Situation -
Uncommon - You may play this card if your opponent is
Richie. Richie can play no Specials as long as this card
is in play. (picture of Richie being vamped by Amanda
from "Double Eagle")
MotoCross Racing - Plot 1 - Richie - Situation - PLOT:
Join The Team (picture of Richie with Saracen racing team)
MotoCross Racing - Plot 2 - Richie - Situation - PLOT:
Teammate Killed: To play this card you must have Join The
Team in play. (picture of Richie's teammate getting
himself killed)
MotoCross Racing - Plot 3 - Richie - Event - PLOT:
"Whoops!": To play this card you must have Join the Team
and Teammate Killed in play. Discard all 3 cards. You
are considered dead. Your opponent must remove all of his
Pedestrian, Bystander, and Plot cards from the game.
However, your opponent may play a Reporter and choose to
have it do one point of damage to you rather than its
normal effect. (picture of Richie wiping out and being
"killed")
Sidekick - Plot 1 - Richie - Situation - PLOT: "God I'm
Annoying" (any picture of Richie, any season up to 5th)
Sidekick - Plot 2 - Richie - Situation - PLOT: "Don't Hit
Me, Mac!": To play this card you must have "God I'm
Annoying" in play. (picture of Mac looking pissed from
"Under Color of Authority")
Sidekick - Plot 3 - Richie - Situation - PLOT: "I've Got
a Contract": To play this card you must have "God I'm
Annoying" and "Don't Hit Me, Mac!" in play. All three
cards remain in play. As long as all three cards are in
play, all attack damage done to you by anyone using any
Persona except a "generic" one is reduced to 1. (any
picture of Stan Kirsch with him looking as little like
Richie as possible - long hair, better clothes, signs of
intelligence and charisma, whatever)