The alcohol poem 2/11/02
Alcohol is bad for me,
Don't drink alcohol.
It makes my shoes go all blurry,
Don't drink alcohol.

Beer is so very bad,
Don't drink alcohol.
When my mouse drinks it he goes mad,
Don't drink alcohol.

Champagne has bubbles and is very fizzy,
Don't drink alcohol.
Champagne makes you oh so dizzy,
Don't drink alcohol.

The shoe poem 3/11/02
Shoes are cool,
I wear some to school,
They are black,
But they are not slacks.
I don't know what slacks are,
But they dont come in a jar,
They are footwear,
But are not socks, i swear.

High shoes have high heels,
But i prefer shoes with wheels,
Like rolly rollerskates,
If you're a waiter you'll drop the plates,
Wellies are waterproof,
But i like shoes that are bulletproof,
So your feet don't hurt,
And you can run around in dirt.

The cheese poem 3/11/02
Cheese is yellow,
Cheese is blue,
Cheese is green,
And orange too.

Cheese is mild,
Cheese is strong,
Cheese is cheesy,
Like the Las Ketchup song.

Cheese on pizza,
Cheese on toast,
But some people think,
That cheese is gross.

But I don't.

Queen of poems 4/11/02
i want to be queen of poems,
oh yes i do,
i can write poems,
about going to the zoo.

They have giraffes,
and penguins too,
but mident tells me he likes,
the elephants in the zoo.

Zoo zoo zoo,
zoo zoo zoo,
Mident likes the hefalumps,
in the big old zoo.

My Pet Spider Died The Other Day (Summer 2003)
my pet spider died the other day
he got squashed in a pile of hay,
he didnt even get the chance to get laid
my poor pet spider died the other day

poor little Webby was havin a stroll
tryin to find him a baby doll
but first he had a piddle in a teapot
then he found a spidey girl that hit the spot

off they went for a bit of a snog
but then they got chased by a big scary dog
so off they scuttled into a barn
and started playing with big balls... of yarn

they sat on a haystack holding hands
but along came mr fat farmer man
he sat on their haystack cos he was pissed
and that's how Webby and Talulah got squished

my pet spider died the other day
he got squashed in a pile of hay,
he didnt even get the chance to get laid
my poor pet spider died the other day

Ode to Spongebob 9/11/03
Oh Spongebob, oh Spongebob,
You really do a good job,
I love you, oh bob of sponge,
You can absorb water or even gunge.

Your structure is pretty, I can plainly see,
With all your pores, teasing me,
You really are so sweet, divine,
If I could breathe underwater, I'd make you mine.

Those bright blue eyes draw me in,
Your funny teeth are but a sin,
My atoms of emotion you do rattle,
Dammit, this is not a load of prattle.

My love, my sweetheart, my hunky piece of meat,
If I was a sheep, I'd bleat and I'd bleat,
But I am not, I am but a girl,
So come on baby you rock my world!