I've been a computer and video game player for the last decade or so of my life.  I've owned or played just about every system out there.  So, I'm no exact spring chicken in the field and market of computer games.  And, of this decade of experience, I can say one thing and one thing alone-

There Is WAY Too Much Crap Out There!

Anybody want to say there isn't?  Every game studio in 2000 has released games that are, honestly, not worth the CDs they're printed on.  The games genuinely are of poor quality and poor development, even by those people that should have known better.  Some of the more flagrant examples of this deepening case of creeping crapitis are-

• Datikana-HOW long was this game in development, using the Quake II engine?  HOW much hype did this game get?  HOW much were we told that this game would be the greatest thing since sliced bread?  And, HOW much did it suck when it was finally released?  Hmmm?  HOW poor of a game was this, that it took up SO much money from Eidos that great games such as Thief were short-changed.
• Star Trek-New Worlds/Force Commander-I'm combining these two games because they both have the same problems-piss poor camera control, the utter abuse and destruction of a perfectly good license that both companies should have exploited to the hilt, game engines and play that were way behind the times, and some of the worst graphics in a Real Time Strategy game that I've seen in a long time.  Both games could have been so much more, and were not even remotely close.
• Messiah-The game concept was wonderful.  The game engine was excellent.  The game PLAY sucked, with it's large number of "jump perfect or you die" puzzles and weird concepts that you had to literally guess what the designers were thinking.
• Reach For The Stars-The revival of one of gaming's earliest and greatest titles, mated to a engine that had poor combat control, little sense of any improvements of technology, and was built and designed for the most hopelessly spreadsheet-addicted.

Anybody want to say that these weren't awful games?  That they could had been done better?  If you say that they can't be improved, I will call you a liar to your face.  It's time, people.  Time for us, like the breaking-point frustrated newsreader in Network to scream at the top of our lungs , "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"  We're not going to take anymore, and most importantly, I'm not going to take it anymore.  So, here's what I propose....ahem-

To All Game Development/Game Production Studios In The Continental United States-

    I, as a fan of computer games, believe that I can honestly do better than almost all of the massive amounts of garbage that is shoveled onto CDs and called "the next best thing."  True development requires risk-taking and a willingness to go against the Mainstream.  Since this is true, I will hereby take a big risk and a big chance.

    If I am given TOTAL creative authority and development control of a computer game software development team, I will produce in a reasonable amount of time (from the first day to final Gold ship build) a Damn Good game, on-time and done not only well, but uniquely and well-written and well-produced.  If I fail in this task, I shall, in full public view at the soonest Game Developers Conference to the missed Gold build date, be shaved completely of all body hair, painted a bright blue (polka dots optional), given a single strategically-placed fanny pack, and will walk around the entire Conference like that until I am either thrown out or the Conference ends, whichever comes first.

   To any company that is willing to take me up on this offer, my e-mail address is zakueins@hotmail.com and I WILL respond to that e-mail, to discuss a SERIOUS offer.

   Thank you, and have a good day.

Let's see what happens, shall we?  If I get any results, I'll post them here.  Wish me luck!

Last Revised:2/2/01