
Blogs by a Spotless Painter
Gian M e r l e v e d e
"No, I'm not ready. But I am getting older" - Stephen Donaldson
2001-2002:
Painting and exhibiting during Spring and Summer 2001.
From Fall 2001 till Summer 2002 I was living in Toronto, Canada for a year of study in Philosophical Aesthetics (with Prof.Dr. Adrienne Dengerink-Chaplin) at the Institute for Christian Studies (ICS).
See for more information about ICS: www.icscanada.edu
2003:
Currently earning a living with a full-time job in a small Belgian distribution business of christian books and all sorts of media (since February 2003). Besides that I keep on painting in my leisure time. Further I keep myself involved in christian based art philosophy.
In the very margins I sometimes dwell in poetry or (modern) dance improvisations on a non-professional basis.
For the academic year of 2002-2003 I was enrolled at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts at Dendermonde (Belgium), for art courses 'Etching' (Professor of Art: Mr. Peter De Koninck) and 'Lithography' (Professor of Art: Mrs. Diane Van Delm).
. . .

Etching "Eagle" - black ink on yellowish paper - ca. 100x45 cm
Begin July, I relocated to a new home in the Belgian city 'Mechelen'. Finally I inhabit my own painting studio! As for the first time in my career I have lots of space, so I can start painting on larger formats and linen - which feels exciting! Not in the least for finding such a spacey place with even a private garden to dwell in.
Official Website of the City of Mechelen:
Dutch version (Root Website) -
English version -
French version -
German version
The historic city of Mechelen, belongs to the Flemish speaking part of Belgium (Flanders).
Geographically the city of Mechelen is located halfway between the international port city of 'Antwerp' and the Belgian capital 'Brussels'.
Read about Mechelen in the English Wikipedia
2004:
I keep on working in my usual slow pace, painting and studying. Currently I am reading the publication of 'What Art Is - The Aesthetic Theory of Ayn Rand' by Torres & Kamhi (June 2000) - Click here for details on this book at my art philosophical page.
Another long term painterly project I am personally dealing with since two years now, is learning how to transfer my (small format) sketching style unto bigger formats of paper or stretched canvas.
In september 2004 I happened to make a huge leap forward in this area. For years already I had been struggling with this issue. As I desired to experience more of the same kind of smooth output and artistic efficiency as in my small sketchings, when dealing with bigger painting formats (1 square meter and above). And now, after some years of inner turmoil about the whole issue of hightening artistic efficiency and freedom, I found myself taking a new leap once again, and suprisingly - knowing all failures in time - suddenly succeeding with an empowerment of spirit more than ever had before. Thus finally after years of trials moving over to painting and sketching freely on bigger scales (linen streched canvas). Overcoming in some sense an emotional blocked mindset I was carrying for years, as I stubbornly disliked working on the 'wackyness' of stretched canvas (as I viewed it wrongly as an obstruction of my painterly controll when drawing fine lines etc). It seems to me that during the past year of 2003 over to this year 2004, while I silently enrolled into a new (molding) phase of my life (my relocation, my quitting of systematic study of art philosophy, my new job outside the art context), that in meantime I "unconsciously" also had an inner artistic development going on, even if I didn't actually painted as much as I wanted to (frustration about artistic efficiency and "production"), and the outcome is only starting to show as it seems, making me tread new grounds in a fresh way, cutting loose further lasting strands of negative perfectionism and related 'cramps' when painting.
2005:
At the moment I am particularly bussy with the painting 'Angel' (150x100 cm/linen canvas). The inner impression I carry for that painting is particularly strong. Perhaps I need this inner thrive the more, since this huge kind of format (to me it is!) poses not a small challenge to me.
Furthermore, I sense that probably in the future this theme of the Angel will merge also into a project of a diphtych (two twin-pairs of linen canvases, each of the size of approximately 230x150 cm).
April 9th
Begin April, I lost my job due to reorganisation of the business. Initially I had signed up for the job for 2 years, and two years it became.
I feel blessed, since this seems to open up again a new life's phase, I really welcome. I have immersed myself completely into painting.
As you can see on my catalogue of paintings, there's definitely a lot going on in my studio. Not in the least, because of the steady 'demolition' of inner perfectionistic-psychologic barriers; I really sense new emotional space and attitude nowadays as I dive into my painting studio.
June 16th
I am reading the trilogy of
Stephen Donaldson
'The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever'.
This trilogy (written in 1977) is often compared to Tolkien's 'Lord of the Ring'-trilogy. What I so deeply value about Stephen Donaldson as a writer, is his profound psychological deepsight.
As to my view, the author manages to create an intruiging web of metaphors that covers specificly the faith quest to which any earnest christian bloodyly bumps into with all the frustration and anger that goes with it (like the main character in this story: Thomas Covenant, the Lepre and Unbeliever).
Donaldson delivers this rare jewel in literature by taking on the challenge of metaphorizing about this faith clash of created man before a cryptic Creator.
www.stephenrdonaldson.com
July 1st
Suprisingly, the famous impressionist painter
Claude Monet
(born Nov. 1840 - died Dec. 1925) did seem to have his inner battles going on rather regularly. Good to be reminded that we are all human in the end.
Reading an art biography of Claude Monet certainly points out, which high toll it took the "salon des refusees"-painter to take his own stand in the art business that initially scoffed him for too many years.
At the other hand, it are the 'deviations' in life that offer us the chance to get our characterly strenght polished and straightend. Clearly, the external threats never measure up to the internal challenges we face within ourselves. Already an accomplished artist, still Monet kept on going through regular psychological struggles. Unavoidable and necessary as it seems, in finding better balance on the edges of high sensitivity. Imaginably this struggles definitely may have helped molding his personality as an artist, while also injecting newly gained wisdom into his art quest. It is said that while Monet suffered his depressions, he often turned unto destroying ongoing painterly works.
Which reminds me of my Swiss grandfather Jakob Janett Sr. (City of Buchs, St.Gallen in Switzerland, born 1904 - died 2000), who once told me, how he sometimes as an painting artist had to suffer all the way down his character to finally obtain a gouache painting worthwhile. And if the artistic process demanded erasing a picture irrevocably and starting wholly anew, he too took his bold stand.
In Japanese Samurai culture, drawing the sword (bow first, a spear next, last the sword), was like letting one's soul blaze free. As this usually meant that the swordsman was down to the last straw.
When a fight was to be settled untill nothing but a surrender was possible, this became defined as "Ken ore, Ya mo tsuki". A proverb meaning litteral: "With swords broken and without an arrow".
Life, like art, often feels like a genuine duel, therefore this kind of memories and confessions of other painters and their struggles to be fought 'bravely by all weakness', really mean a good deal of personal encouragement on the journey, I have found.
www.intermonet.com
August 17th
There's a novel entitled 'To the Hilt' (1996) by the crime fiction author
Dick Francis
(born 1920 - South Wales, England) that has been specifically compelling to me over the last ten years.
As the overall book is unified as a suspense story, a particular theme draws the characterization of a painter's visionary struggle between art and social relations.
"Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them."
Dick Francis in 'To the Hilt' / 1996
It's this metaphor of artisthood so brilliantly woven together with all kinds of clear-cut details, which really graps me to the bone, even more than the overall suspense story or the author's dry-witty, smooth writing style.
Reading 'To the Hilt' over and over again (Dutch version: 'Over de kling' - 1997), I silently kept wondering about the resolute way Dick Francis picks his details, unfolding vividly the scenery of a painter's craft. Almost done from an insider's perspective...
Intruiging also, how the author's observant wisdom trickles through in the fresh typifyings of a solitary-artistic character and the returning social problems this may generate. However unintended by the author, this fictional story of an unbaffled painter, somhow comforted me on my own journey in life and art, for which I am grateful.
www.dickfrancisbooks.com
September
In September 2005 I visited a romancatholic based "Art Cloister" named
Los Cabos.
In fact, the monastery lends it's name from the little village it dominates. Its a very rural setting in the Asturian mountains of the North of Spain (province of Asturias). Nearest bigger city is Pravia.
A rather isolated setting, splendid if you really search for a retreat, but otherwise, you better organize your own car (the coast - Costa Verde! - is about 7 km's away and the roads are rather steep and curvy as they wind through a jungle of eucaliptus trees).

This pencil impression (35x50 cm) shows one of the superb views outside the painting studio I occupied during my stay.
From another window, I could actually catch a glimps of the deep blue horizon of the sea lurking through from between the hills!
It is a very welcoming, lively, 'hispanic' art community of charismatic-catholic christians who engage in the renewal of the romancatholic mindset about the arts and broadcasting media. Apart of a state-of-the-art recording music studio:
DelaRaiz Producciones, they own an operate a full-blown internet radiostation: David Radio. Currently they are also building a TV-studio.
The community in this 'arts cloister' is very open towards visitors and offers very cheap lodgings (and as they have lots of empty 'classrooms'... you can actually set up your temporary painting studio there if you ask. Improvising skills are an asset here!).
And besides, it proved to be an ideal setting, both to rapidly improve your Spanish, as well as providing an astounding viewpoint towards the hispanic-romancatholic culture scene in both the overseas America's. As the majority of the community members actually originate from the whole of the American continent.
Los Cabos also initiates art festivals (concerts and workshops in the arts) on several continents: Multifestival David
Particularly enriching, I found the contact with this multi-coloured bunch of younghearted, artistic people. Although it is a fluctuating sort of group (people drop in and out), and although I stayed there only for 7 days, I actually crashed into a real caleidoscope of spheres: music recording, webdesign, internet radio, digital film, painting, ceramics, photography... you name it!
www.centroloscabos.com
2006:
Continuing my painterly preparations for my coming exhibition in Antwerp in this summer (June-July 2006).
March 29th
Only Two months to go, to get my first solo art show rolling! (was transfered to November 2007!)






March 2006: Loads of work to be done yet!
September 4th
I did enroll for a two year's course at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Mechelen (Kunstacademie): 'Multidisciplinary Studio'. It's about creative brainstorming and acting on impulses. As the conscious, somatic experience of impulsive processes and it's unfamiliar combinational 'play', can especially help to trigger new points of view when stuck in mere conceptualizing attitudes. Teacher is Mrs. Alexandra Jacquet, she's excellent in coaching and highly intuitive.
Multidisciplinary Studio In Dutch the course is called: 'Multidisciplinair Atelier'.
Visit the offical website of the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Mechelen (in Dutch):
www.academiemechelen.be
October 19th
This month I stumbled across an interesting chapter about 'God avenging'.
It's part of the publication 'Let God Arise' from the late Judson Cornwall, bible teacher and author. I found it intruiging that the author states that the God of the bible never show as pattern of vengeance without 1) cause of justice and what is more 2) also a strategic cause.
For instance: The God of the Bible undertook an avenging campaign only when the old Israelites were seriously being hindered in their progress, either to leave their situation of capitivity (Egypt's 400 years of slavery) or else when denied entrance into their promised heritance (King Og, the Bashanite Giant).
That the avenging acts of God are not as random as I (clueless!) thought them to be, where a refreshing insight to me.
This theme of 'God avenging' has my particular interest. As for the upcoming solo exhibition in November 2007 I am dealing with the theme of 'The Attacking Christ' - or: 'Christ attacking' and 'The Warrior's Angel'. Intuitively I began encircling this theme of 'divine avenge' already back in october 2005.
December 10th
While living in Canada (back in 2001-2002) I acquainted with some Canadian literature.
Initially, I disliked the specific 'feeling', the unique outlook or mindset that colored and radiated from all the small samples of Canadian authors that I stumbled across, while browsing the rather lousy... Canadian library system. Difficult of course, to put the finger on it exactly and name it, but reading with the fresh look of an outsider, and experiencing firsthandedly some sides of this vast country, and its harsh climate conditions (and hot summers too!), delivered me a whole new angle on (Canadian) lifestyle.
Personally, ever since my stay in Canada, I keep recognizing this latent Canadian Feel, be it through literature or through music or films ('The Shipping News' (2001, with , Kevin Spacey and Julianne Moore) - 'The Snow Walker' (2003, with Barry Pepper and Annabella Piugattuk).
Two books especially kept resonating over the years: 'Never Cry Wolf : Amazing True Story of Life Among Arctic Wolves' by Farley Mowat and 'The Underpainter' by Jane Urquhart.
2007:
January 10th
Poundering again the biblical passages around
Numbers 13-14 (Exploring Canaan and the Rebellion to enter it) or even the whole chronicles in the
Book of Esther, or even reviewing the general dealings of God with the Israelites and their exodus; it strikes me, how God in fact time and time again allows SEVERE problems and FRIGHTENING difficulties to set in and PAINFULLY shake the Israelites (or in general to us 'humans'). Specifically to the Israelites God promised (under conditions) He is indeed promised them His leadership and protection.
Nevertheless the Creator doesn't seem inclined generally to act like a sort of 'rescuer' when it comes to daily life... if at all (!)
This makes me wonder again, how vast and extended in fact 'our' human responsability really is?
Apparently our personal responsability and free will, is far higher and far severe in consequence, than we have even begun to understand, if I am right.
Specifically for us committed (western) christians (as the apostle Paul explicitly states that these Old Testament's chronicles of God's dealings with the Israelites in history, are meant for our instruction and warning) this kind of informations put serious questions on the table about the PRICE of God's promises. The PRICE of GAINING ACTUAL FREEDOM on all human levels (versus death/slavery to the contrary) for the Israelites (in general) was the choice to actively-obey-in-the-face-of-real-shakings (be it a shaking of their 'rational sound judgments' (!!) or be it a shaking of their 'emotional sound judgements' (!!).
Would we... 'rationalizing seasoned christians' of the west (if it had been us out there!?!) ...really have followed the lead of Caleb and Joshua (like in Numbers 13-14), and by doing so had overruled our 'sound faculties of judgment' or else or possible 'emotional bewilderment'??!!
Do we just ASSUME cheaply we have the nerve?
If we deceive ourselves on this issue, we're on death row in a deep sense.
It seems to me, that the price of actual inner freedom is therefore far more disturbing than we western christians actually are willing to realize. In line with that, the consequences are far more severe than we seem to have begun to recognize. what is more, we seem to have almost no clue about the ETERNAL sides of our 'little life' (?!?) on earth.
It seems to me, that the Eternal Personal God (I read about in Scripture) isn't impressed at all by any of our (apparently lame...) human excuses or ignorance. That the only divinely appointed pathway to freedom (apart form the basic Grace of God bestowed), is through a human courage to face and overcome (fear) barriers... basically and initially always on our own.
I feel troubled not only on behalf of my fellow non-christian friends and fellow man living around me in Belgium (or even in the rising of this atheistic-materialistic driven European Union), but even more I feel personally bugged, that I seem chronically inable to obtain a clear view on the dimensions of my personal and 'christian' responsabilities and the linked consequences of it for people around me. Even though I can't handle the full load of this kind of pounderings, the urgency of it all abounds to me daily. Of course, one good side of it is, that my 'fool's blindness' keeps it totally clear that in the end... only my biblical faith dependence on the Holy Spirit of the Living God and a continual (inspirational) teachability and humility bestowed by Adonai Himself, will proof to be lasting assets.
A non comformist artist like me, I count my blessings for being able at least to channel some of all this overwhelming sort of visionary leader's anxiety that I encounter in my spirit, into the soothing language of artistic metaphors (paintings, poems).
In this context I am bound to continue the artistic research for new metaphoric-pictorial phrasings of aspects of the Nature and Charakter of the biblical God as I am able to extract and deduce them through the supernaturalistic writings and human testimonies in Holy Scripture. A current series of paintings I am researching, I call 'The Attacking Christ' - or: 'Christ attacking' - or: Angel) (worktitles) eactly to address the unescapable violence and (righteous!) threat that comes with (supernaturalistic) consequences we humans face, whether we acknowledge them or not.
Yes, I want God to attack me so to speak, both as a human an artist,
and keep shaking my comfort zones as long as necessary.
I recognize that there is no shameless gain or lasting freedom whatsoever in my innate self-deceptions about the true nature of the God Who Is There. And even in this recognition I keep falling short. But like the archfather Jacob, I have less and less to loose. Acknowledging deeply, that my basic responsability is to keep crying out, to keep endlessly yelling, to make a nothing-to-loose sort of fuzz like the blind man on the road to Jericho (See: Luke 18:35-43). What is more, to keep fighting for the Blessing (like Jacob desperately dwrestled with the Angel of God, as Jacob-the-Deceiver (what's in a Hebrew name?!) knew he had more to gain than to loose).
Yes, to fight God respectfully and with (only normal!) human sense of self esteem,
but nevertheless to seek true experiencial confrontation with an invisible God!
Because doing so, is fulfilling my basic code of human Honor, in that I take for real, the ultimate-objective reality of a Personal Creator the Bible speaks of. Testifying ultimately, that in using my sound cognitive faculties of both reason, heart and will, and as a self-responsible human, I have come to the optimal securable understanding of life's affairs, the warranted true believe (cf. the philosopher Alvin Plantinga -
Wikipedia on Plantinga). The reasonable finding (as so many fellow wanderers did come too), that this faith and reason based conclusion is deeply truthful. That there IS actually and undeniably a Personal Creator external too and behind of the boundaries and created, explorable stage of heaven and earth. A Divine Person that can be contacted and experienced, even though He currently is not sensibly visible at all.
'A Blind Beggar Receives His Sight'
35 As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. 36 When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. 37 They told him, "
Jesus of Nazareth is passing by."
38 He called out, "
Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"
39 Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "
Son of David, have mercy on me!"
40 Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, 41 "
What do you want me to do for you? "
"Lord, I want to see," he replied.
42 Jesus said to him, "
Receive your sight; your faith has healed you. "
43 Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.
(From the Bible, New Testament, Luke 18:35-42, New International Version)
For years now, I find myself relating deeply to this blind man's struggle to win the attention of the Son of God, despite of what others would do to prevent it. I personally found, that pursuing His attention, and the frustrated, humiliating fight that comes with finding and coming to terms with both oneself AND a misleadingly invisible, strangely silent, almighty, righteous judging, aparently uninclined Rescuer and Father, is an experience ultimately worthwhile. Therefore I'll continue 'yelling' like this blind man...
April 15th
Interview with 'Flood' (Co-producer of U2 band) on the DVD-documentary of the CD-release 'How to dismantle an atomic bomb', 2004:
"
To go full circle is part of the process.
Just completely changing the way the whole song is...
In order to maybe find out, that where you started at the beginning...
...was the best place for it.
It's almost like chop its head off...
And see if it still comes back fighting fit.
"
On the same DVD-documentary, 'Larry' (the drummer of U2) says:
"
It's unusual for us, but the song remained the same for a long period of time, without a lot of change.
It was only when Steve Lillywhite came in (...) that we really knew what it was that we wanted from the song.
What it really needed was the song to be deconstructed and (sort of) be put back together again.
"
And on that DVD 'Bono' (leadsinger of U2) adds this veteran sort of comment:
"
We don't really know what we're doing,
and when we do it doesn't seem to help.
"
These kind of comments sound very familiar to me. As they really fit my own experience as a longstanding painter.
To manage (or should I say: allow...?) especially this hidden dynamics in the creative process, is both a joy (like 'surfing'!) as it is also a severe challenge.
The challenge is more or less to endure and to stay through this process of 'decapitation' and 'carefully deconstruction'. A selective-creative artistic process (over and over again!) to evaluate what works so far in the building of a new painting, or else what has to be overpainted. Often this is about finding the courage to eradicate certain painterly areas in the birthing of a painting. To keep 'proving' every time anew, through this kind of bold trust, that indeed it is possible to exchange 'mere good' findings with that which is 'excellent'.
I certainly find it an exhilarating process whenever I find my way in the labyrinth of eradicated 'holy' places in my painting, towards the latest visual 'epiphany'!
Only then the 'pain' process of irretrievable blotting out, the battle of overpainting is laid to rest.
April 19th
A time to weep, a time to pray, a time to take action. . . (Quotation of Jim Mills' Newsletter (www.creativeartseurope.org)
John Wilson, presents this challenge on how we are to respond to the vast wasteland of culture in the 21st century.
"
Perhaps the starting point should be tears. Weep for a glorious gift that is being degraded and corrupted into a worthless thing; for art that shows no craftsmanship and communicates no vision . . . for theaters where blasphemy and sexual license are mistaken for liberty; for our often violent and pornographic cinema; for cheap sensational literature; for poetry that has nothing to say; paintings revealing no created reality, and music that only disturbs . . . we must weep for our lost culture, for the makers of that culture ... all around us . . . Pray for those highly gifted that they will use their talents to enrich human life, bring truth and joy by opening the eyes and understanding ... Pray for those whom God has called to serve Him in the arts that they might learn to use them aright in their lonely, difficult and yet glorious calling.
"
April 24th
"We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not know what to create"
Jose Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955) - Spanish writer and philosopher
May 20th

"
I just came back from an international gathering of christian oriented artists in Brussels (May 18-20,2007).
The event... was titled 'Imagine! ...the potentials! Dream, imagine and inspire!' and hosted by the agile, 'Europeanized Americans' Jim and Anne Mills (founders of Creative Arts Europe and fostering the arts under youths dating back to 1976). About 120 participants from 12 different nations represented a vast array of artistic disciplines.

Steve Turner
The happening was specifically designed 'out of the box', as yes, there was one key-note speaker invited, the journalist and writer Steve Turner but even his role was merely to speak and trigger off (alongside of other talk-session moderators) an improvisational, on-the-spot exchange between the international and divers participants.
Surrounding the gathering sessions (smaller groups of special interests; themes could be selected and joined on personal interest) where conference features like the Media Room (where cd's and dvd's where showed of participating artists) and a Dream Cafe. Introductions at the start and closings of the days where spiced up with little concerts and dance pieces.
Enjoying the event unfolding, and experiencing its occuring quality levels, make me feel sad for a moment, that this an priviliged opportunity was 'wasted' from a media broadcasting point of view, in not having been covered by some journalists of art interest. It's the kind of kicking happening that would make a great media reportage. As for instance, filming the event format, the moderated discussion from the hall's audience with the twelf-person strong panel of senior artists on the stage in front, created a highly unique momentum. An all too rare sort of 'creative infested' conference dynamics as only artists are capable of! A missed chance really, as it would have produced some captivating sort of TV-reportage, definitely! Well, I personally gonna give it some more thoughts on how to hit a homerun with the media in respect to this kind of well-sized opportunity to help show-case christian-type of art power for the future to a wider audience."
Check out some showcasings of participating artists!
Imagine! Blogspot.
Find the Imagine! Blogspot at www.creativeartseurope.typepad.com/imaginethis
More infos on coming events, check out: www.creativeartseurope.org
July 11th
"I love secrets - I like to leave things open...
I like the things behind things."
Christian Vogt (born 1946) - Swiss photographer.
More than 7 years ago, totally clueless, I tore out a photograph printed from a magazine.
The photo was part of one of Hasselblad's advertisings.
I added the printed sheet to the wall above my desk.
One of many in a wall of photos, black and white (like the Truth).
In all shifting tides of new torn photographs competing for some space at the covered wall.
This one survived my gaze, keeping me on a bloody hunt.
A quest that continued for months, before I finally even became more consciously aware of it.
The photo laid bare a certain compound of metaphors, that my spirit and soul were somehow responding to.
Looking back now, I conclude, that I was desperately craving to beat my own strenght, needing to press out some new waterdrops from a rock.
But how does one crack a holy nut from stone age, exactly refusing the analytics of arrogant gazes?
Sometimes holy things remain locked until the price of warfare is payed.
Facing it more than a year, I relocated to Canada, and took the printed leaf with me, now more fully aware of the mirror it was carrying for me.
Then snowy winter came (in the middle of a hot Canadian summer) as I, in leaving my rented basement studio, shipped my stuff back to Europe.
For some undisclosed reason more years had to pass, before my soul finally made it again to tune in to whisperings of my poundering spirit and take action: Re-opening the silent hunt in a practical way by simply putting it up to the wall, right in front of my eyes.
Yep, here we are, on speaking terms again while uttering no sound, nor give away any clue to the Enemy: Black and white... hatefully distressing with all its grey shades.
Happily, we never 'feel obliged' to speak. The toughest fights... the deepest conversations have a way despite total silence, lacking total respect for human, time bond appointments.
Seven years huh?!, and only now, a first 'curious itch', ha!
Convincing me to make some effort to try to track down any elusive title to this photo (if at hand) and the metaphoric compounds it so patiently carries...
Studying my own gaze back and forth toward the photograph - who knows?!? - maybe includes at this point of my life, some more random learnings about the (in some hazardous ways?) 'kindred soul' WHO spotted and 'birthed' (and in a way helped constructing) this particular visual metaphor in the first place!?
But I'm no shadow catcher, I know that taking the lead, will force any attached compound of my identity (despite all the secrecy it goes by) to catch up with me, like shadows never have been able to break away from true covenant's bonds.
My pace is far slower now, and my 'thirst' apparently relocated (relocated?!?) to another spot (can't ignore the graveyard of illusions, at least they lie still!). Or is it that I am getting old?
In contrast to my racing soul and its often 'fake emergency calls', this photograph won't run away.
Nor let me ignore its apparent peace-of-its-own, or else back off.
No, clearly not... until my mission - or under whatever name this Call (?) goes forth - found its solemn completion.
For now, and for whatever exacte reason, I'm grateful for a reckless, searching hunter's eye behind a camera: Salutations to Christian Vogt!
July 25th
I am a bit of a (small) film freak.
The movie 'Constantine' with actor Keanu Reeves (2005), I found deeply touching because of this all too rare 'metaphor' about the human struggle for the Blessing in the sight of Unyielding Transcendent.
Wikipedia notes that this film is loosely based on the Hellblazer comic books. A contemporary horror comic book series published continuously since January 1988. Its central character is the streetwise magician John Constantine.
About the historic figure of Constantine I one can read, that he is generally considered the first christian roman emperor.
Under his political rule the ongoing (political) clash - between prosecuted early christianity and the traditional rule of age-old pagan worldviews became settled in favor of a new-key christian cultural dominance.
As much as some people consider the clash between good and evil forces, or between objective Truth and objective Lie, a mere captivating dramatic story, at best a loose metaphor about life (no more than so-called, fleeting philosophic rethorics in the end, cowardly refusing to take a real stand and its consequences), I myself do find the factual reality of supernatural, unseen dimensions in life unmistakable.
Seeing this movie reminds me of what I personally believe to be a fact: that human existence is part of a higher teleological unfolding throughout history as the biblewriters testify to that view and life commitment too.
The unmistakable metaphoric power (it's more than mere story!) released through this film, reminds me (and in a way helped comforting me) in keeping courage, in dealing with an ever complicating globalizing raging, age-old world. Reminds me of the reality of our age-old Babylonian confusions as humans. The true core-themes that deeply matter for the our rational inclinations, and which philosophers denote as the final questions that urge an authoritative 'answer' from us, lest we lose ourselves and our rational... sanity. The unsettling questions of 'objective Truth or Lie' and 'Life and Death'. It's in the end the ultimate questionnaire we can't and shouldn't refuse to tackle... the quest for the true Origins of Man and Life, of the objective value and (superhuman) grounds of human individual Identity.
In all this respects, the movie 'Constantine' delivers to me, a newly cast metaphoric weaving about this complicated mix of human struggle and condition on both bodily, soulish and spiritual-supernatural levels, as we humans all partake in it, some way or another, willingly or forced. Be it on different levels and intensity. And be it, objectively positioned closer to or farther away from what the biblical truth patterns and teachings look like.
Despite my personal view, that this movie is in itself an embodied metaphor of the ongoing Babylonian confusion that pervades humanity until this day, I found the movie deeply suprising and exhorting exactly and paradoxically thanks to its biblical misreadings and twists, as we christians after all often act even more ignorant and misguided, as mere 'modern pagans' do...
For me that covers the axial crux in the movie's metaphor.
I found that depiction of human frailty and courageous, unbending resolve in the face of utter rejection by a Transcendent God (biblically a blasphemy of sorts), utterly exhilarating and mind-inspiring... Why? Because in the shades of this misconception, another underlying metaphor can be discovered. An all too rare visual metaphor depicting and covering the reality of the bloody fighting grounds every sincere christian is confronted with. The harsh human struggle to lay hands on more bestowements of actual relational intimacy and emotive fullfillment when it comes to the weird business of relating to an invisible, yet personal Creator against the background of life's absurdities. A battle of sorts encountered by anyone that faces God's silent mystery grounds (apart from His existing answering 'modes' and 'reasonabilities' too). His darkening 'muteness-of-sorts'. His 'apparent rejection' and 'divine refusals' to be put on the spot, to be charged before any of our human courts, let alone be confined to our silly human ways of containing final reality, religious society, or else our knowledge and authority on Who He should Be and How He should act... His utterly demoralizing and sudden destesting of our proud 'control behaviors' towards the divine realms. It all adds up to that sort of precious 'fight' whenever a human sincerely and honestly engages to reason with the Creator as a created human-with-identity (in the unique and self-conscious, divinely bestowed right!). This is the sort of pivotal, earnest core-metaphor I see
Keanu Reeves captivatingly embodying on the screen in this movie 'Constantine', standing up to truely bestowed human identity levels (created in His image as we truely are!) and holding grounds, even beseeching the Ultimate God to speak on our (sin-strikken) behalf.
Fellow christians around me keep dismissing this movie far too prejudiced about it's obvious blasphemic sides, but again, despite that being the case at certain points, I myself nevertheless found myself deeply empowered (as an artist-on-the-job myself) by the strength and integrity of the forged visual metaphors the filmmakers did conceive and grabbed hold on. And as much as I honestly and severly regret the babylonian confusions that made up the groundwork of the movie, I nevertheless count it a blessing-in-disguise to be granted this kind of artistic leadership by non-christians. As in my opinion todays (so-called) christian art scene still appears rather vastly and no less shamefully lingering on the verge of subcultured inbreading. Lacking a spirit of true creative-bold imagination and open mind, as much as it lacks a true resolve to pick up an honest 'fight-till-death' for what truely has truth origins. Western christianity desperately needs a renouncement of their own kind of 'christianized and creative blasphemies' - like the blasphemy of making the Creator 'fit' in our human narrowminded, traditionalized pockets. Or its 'twin' - the blashemy of leading a (so-called) biblical-religious lifestyle before an Omnipotent God that is moreoften befrauded of even the most basic attitudes that defines manhood: intellectual humility and sincere excellence in creativity (imagination!) beyond the shackles of lieful pride, ignorance and fear.
I would have hated a 'neat-bleak christian salvage' of this kind of Theme, as much as I would (of course) equally have detested a deterministic, transcendence renouncing plot of narration!
Like Martin Luther, the protestant-catholic Reformer, wrote in his letter against the cardinal of Magdeburg, I keep crying out (my paraphrasings):
"The Living God and Creator help us to stay humble-devote, sanctified sinners, not becoming holy, christian, self-righteous slanderers!"
Another movie that made a deep impression on me: 'Life as a house' with actors Kevin Kline and Kristin Scott Thomas (2001).
Wikipedia writes that this film is about the metaphorical and emotional underpinnings of demolishing and reconstructing a house. As such it covers a whole range of classical themes concerning our humanity, our calling for righteous dominion.
September 9th
"But know this, whatever one can paint, think or imagine will be as accurate as trying to describe a sunrise to one born blind – inadequate at best, completely human at worst.
But that just makes the adventure of waiting for the real thing even more exhilarating for me!"
(Ron DiCianni sharing on his painting "Revelation Four")
October 27th
The Antwerp Art Gallery 100 is hosting my latest exhibition of acrylic paintings:
"Wrestling in the sea (with God)" (title in full).
Grand opening is due 8 november 2007 at 7 p.m. The exhibition will continue till the 25th.
It appears to become a thrilling debut of an art show!
First time also that I automated the postal mailing, as my database of contacts has vastly grown over the last decade. Still it overwhelms me a bit how much people specificly have asked to be given short notice and are even willing to fly in from abroad. Which is of course, rather flattering, and definitely a most welcome encouragement! After all it has always been my silent aim to positively touch the hearts and minds of my audience.
"Wrestling in the sea
...will gather a series of paintings reflecting on the pains and 'throes' of personal growth and transition. The visual 'core metaphor' developed here, comprises new fusions on the classic theme of water and rock: States of the sea crashing into a costal line. States of roaring seas versus sheltered, sunlit beaches.
The compositions approach this central theme of 'sea breakers on the coast' through different angles and cross-sections. Alternating standpoints are chosen above or below water level, as well as wide-angle or close range views. This series of acrylic paintings reveal vibrant, but carefully orchestrated color schemes, and thrive on dynamic, unusual compositions. They alternate between semi-figurative and unleashed abstraction.
The emotional and spiritual scope is on issues like 'emergency, battle and collaps, feelings of drowning and bewilderment' versus 'purification, surrendering, new awakenings'.
May 5th
This blog moved to new quarters!
Wordpress.com will be hosting it from now on:
Blogs of a Spotless Painter.
[www.spotlesspainter.wordpress.com]
Enjoy Spotless!...
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