Welcome to my Writing pages...I have thought all my life I was an optimist, but after writing what I have written, I have decided I am a pessimist just trying to cover up...
Well, I have uncovered here....you will see into my
mind, heart, and spirit when you read my "Writings"
It has been over a year since my life took a turn I never expected it to take (June 18, 1999) ... Children are suppose to out-live their parents ... but my Chenoa has been gone for over a year now. Even tho I have been told the pain will ease, it is still, at times just as intense and painful as the very moment I found out she was gone ... I wrote my first "writing" (Sunshine to the Clouds) shortly before my daughter died in June .... everything else on the following pages have come after her death.
I wrote alot of "writings" about my feelings of loneliness and thoughts of leaving this Earth ... I know it is not my time to go, but it doesn't stop me from feeling. The action is and will not be there. The "writings" have just been my way of dealing with the horrible reality that is in my life. I also tried very hard to stay away from the pain of my daughter being gone ... I think I looked for other things to grieve about so as not to feel all the pain that grieving for Chenoa encompasses.
I am able to write more about my feelings about her. I feel this is a good thing for me to do. I hope others will be able to understand why I need to tell my feelings and express my thoughts about my beloved daughter.
For a short time, I was writing at least one writing a day ... so there were new ones added daily. I am not doing that now, but I seem to be inspired to write 2-3 a month, so right now that is what I need to do...
Thank you for coming and reading my thoughts, feelings, and reflections.... Zelly
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