I sat in the closet, with my knees to my chest hugging my arms around them. I could not control the tears that roaled down my face, as I thought of the events that had lead to this minute of dispair. How could I of been so stupid to have believed it would ever change? I had always believed things would get better, but honestly what had been done to improve them.
Abuse was always a part of my life. As a child I'd watched my dad manipulate Threaten and nock my mom around! He had even gone so far as to shoot at her leaving mom shattered in fear , and a hole in the wall next to her.
Was this when I desided it was normal to always fear, or was it when I was 7 and was forsed to stand outside in sub zerro weather with nothing on but light underclothes. upon finaly being allowed back in it was too late. Frost bite had gotten too my feet and arms.
As the years went by abuse became an every day life for me. Beetings, threats, and malestation plegged my life. I was nothing more than property to my father to be enslaved and used.
When it seemed things couldn't get worse they did. Rape was added to rthe list of offences against me. By age 13 I had learned to hide in my mind to excape the pain that My father inflicted. He may be able to tormit my body but my mind would not be tucherd. He could not come there.
I grew up and finaly got away from the horar that life gave me, but sence I had always lived in abuse, I knew nothing else. I married an abusive man who controled everything in my life. 9 years I was nocked into walls, yelled at endlessly, accused of doing ungodly things,Treatened and Raped by a ,man who clamed to love me. He wrote suiside notes and sat around with guns , cut me with knives, and finaly I found my way out.
It is my hope to use this Web page to retell my life and show how when all seems lost God can bless and restore health. He has given me back my life.
Patricia