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Rose Nylund is Kim Fung-Toi!
Blanche: You know what I hate about cleaning up after a big party?
Rose: Finding your underwear in the pile?
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Like no one else.
Rose: We should put out a welcome mat.
Blanche: But we don't have a welcome mat.
Rose: What about the one Dorothy says is at the foot of your bed?
Rose: Once, I read your diary.
Blanche: You what?!
Rose: Well you left it open on the kitchen table. I was 20 pages in before I realized that it wasn't a Sidney Sheldon novel.
Dorothy: You know how uncomfortable I am in front of the camera. Besides, I always come out looking like Fess Parker.
Rose: Don't worry. This is a documentary. It's okay if you're not good-looking.
Rose: Sophia, is that Captain Jack's Seafood Shanty uniform you're wearing?
Sophia: No, Rose. I'm off to discover the Straits of Magellean.
Blanche: This is like the Twilight Zone--somehow we got on a train that ended up in Rose's mind!
Blanche (to Jackie and Marla): Well, just let me freshen my make-up. Girls, why don't you come with me and I'll show you how I transform myself ino a fresh-faced, innocent, young thing.
Rose: Could you skip the innocent part, Blanche? The show starts in two hours.
(Rose shoots a vase in the living room)
Rose: I heard a noise. I thought it was the robbers.
Sophia: I live 80, 81 years. I survived war, pneumonia, two operations. One night I'll belch and Stable Mable here will blow my head off!
Blanche (helping Rose make up an excuse to tell Miles): Well, just tell him you have a lot of work to do at home.
Rose: But I don't want to lie!
Blanche: Ok, then we'll make you clean out the garage later.
Rose: Oh thanks! I owe you big for this one!
Rose: I never had PMS but I have a BMW once.
Blanche: Becky conceives in a clinic and wants to deliver in a bedroom. She's got the whole thing backwards. Oh, this is all wrong. What kind of dope would want to have a baby here?
Rose (enters): This place makes me want to run out and get pregnant!
Blanche: I don't look right in American clothes. I have a more European physique.
Rose: In Europe do they all have big butts, too?
Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test--it's right here.
Rose: That looks like a perfume sample!
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.
Dorothy: I hate seeing Ma like this.
Blanche: Dorothy, I hate seeing you like this.
Rose: I hate those FBI warnings at the beginning of movies.
Blanche: Come on, Rose.
Rose: But what about {I Love} Lucy?
Blanche: We'll watch it on the portable in the kitchen.
Rose: But that set's black and white!
Blanche: She's just a child. You can't expect a child to give back a toy. You do understand that, don't you?
Rose: Cut the crap and get back the damn bear!
Rose: Do the minks really have to be killed?
Sophia: No, Rose. Many women like coats that urinate.
Rose: What's the matter, Sophia? You couldn't sleep either?
Sophia: No, Rose. I was sleeping great. I just wanted to show off my pajamas.
Dorothy: It's not a fly, Rose.
Rose: Spanish fly is not a fly?
Dorothy: No.
Rose: What is it?
Dorothy: It's a beetle.
Rose: They call it a fly but it's really a beetle?
Dorothy: Yes.
Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?
Dorothy: Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose!
Dorothy: This is loaded with caffiene!
Rose: But we need caffiene. Especially women our age, or our bones will get brittle and we'll walk all stooped over.
Blanche: You know girls, we are going on a romantic cruise with Jeff, Rich and Randy, and this day in age it might not be a bad idea to bring... you know... protection.
Rose: What do you mean?
Dorothy: Two armed Pinkerton guards, Rose! No, Blanche was talking about what's over there. (Points to counter)
Rose: A Nestle Crunch?
Dorothy: Over one.
Rose: An enema bag?
Dorothy: To the left.
Rose: Dentu-Grip?!
Rose: Well you're not gonna believe this. I've just been talking on the phone for a half hour and guess what!
Blanche: You forgot to dial first?
Rose: No!
Dorothy: You held the receiver upside down.
Rose: Huh-uh.
Dorothy: It wasn't even the phone; it was the TV remote control.
Rose: No.
Blanche: A shoe?
Rose: Blanche, please, I'm not an idiot... The TV has a remote control?!
Blanche: I suppose we could prove Mr.Livingston was faking his injuries if we could trick him into performing certain acts of a sexual nature. All we'd need is a devastatingly beautiful woman with a flair for seduction.
Rose: How about Mrs.Hoofstad down the street? I mean, she's something of a dog but she'll do it with anybody!
Blanche: I was talking about me.
Rose: Oh yeah! You will too!
Blanche: Rose, I won't go all the way. I'll just get him in the bedroom and put him through the normal warm-up, and we'll have a certain Scandanavian nit-wit hiding in the closet with a camera!
Rose: Wouldn't it be better if I hid in the closet?
Blanche: I've had it with you! I'm going to my room and I may never come out!
Rose: Is it the weekend already?
Mrs. Weston: What are you seeing?
Blanche: Nightmare on Elmstreet 4.
Rose: Do you have to see 1, 2, and 3 to appreciate it?
Dorothy: No, Rose. It stands alone.
Rose. George is the only man to ever see me naked.
Blanche: Get outta here.
Rose: Well except for Charlie of course.
Blanche: Get outta here.
Rose: And the vet.
Dorothy: The vet?
Rose: Our prize hen, Henrietta, had some kind of a chicken disease. I don't know exactly what it was.
Dorothy: The chicken pox.
Rose: No, I don't think so. Anyway, I had an earache so he saw us both at the same time.
Dorothy: For that you got naked?!
Rose: I thought that was strange too!
Rose: I just got a special delivery letter from St. Olaf. Uh oh. It's from the department of water and coffee.
Dorothy: Coffee?
Rose: No thanks, it makes me jumpy.
Rose: Blanche, I don't think you realize how powerful sex is. Once, Charlie and I did it till the cows came home! Of course, I was wearing a bell.
Blanche: Rose, if you're gonna be my lump of clay, you're gonna have to be a little bit smarter.
(Rose enters the kitchen)
Rose: Hi Dorothy. Cooking?
Dorothy: No Rose, I'm developing pictures from the Magellean Space Program.
Rose: I've never told a lie... Well just once when I snuck out of class to go to the movies.
Dorothy: That's not much of a lie.
Rose: That's what I thought. It turned out to be the day they taught everything!
Dorothy: The final piece of the puzzle.
Blanche: I am going to be a model. There I was sitting at the lunch counter and just like Ms. Lana Turner, I was discovered. Well, not exactly like Ms. Lana Turner.
Rose: You mean she was sipping a soda and you were scarfing down your usual lumberjack breakfast?
Rose: Can you belive it? I'm beginning to think Blanche is hung up on her looks.
Dorothy: Boy, you don't need lightening to strike you.
Rose: No thanks. Not again. Once was enough.
Dorothy: An extra pice of the puzzle.
Rose: Do these glasses make me look stupid?
Blanche: Let's just say they don't hide it.
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