DENNIS MILLER LIVE SHOW
Dennis Miller: I brought my kids to down you see, and you guys were so nice to them. A guy got flipped out of the ring and fell onto this table. They led him off and he was really like destroyed. We went backstage into the hallway and I saw the guy walking backstage like this (walking normally). And he saw my kids and went like this (walking with a limp). I thought that was the sweetest thing, that he would be that thoughtful about not blowing the image.
Bill Goldberg: Well some people still have to believe.
DM: I have to say it was the oddest set of circumstances. It was complete chaos, it's like the Circus Maximus in Rome or something. It's loud and crazy, and everybody's going nuts. I have to confess I haven't gone since I was young, but these people were so nice. I'm sure somewhere along the way you got hit with batteries or something like that. But everywhere around me was fathers and sons, they all seem to have a good time. Are most of them or most of them crazy bastards?
BG: Put it this way. Would you ever have imagined a nice Jewish boy from Oklahoma wrestling in the deep south and having them chanting his name? Things have definitely changed.
DM: You started out as football player right? Were you a Falcon?
BG: Yeah, that was the last team I was with.
DM: And you had an injury cut short your career, so you tried wrestling. So when you go home, tell your parents, tell your dad and mom that you're going to be a wrestler, how'd they receive it?
BG:They hung up on me, what'd you expect? I got a father who's an obstetrician gynecologist and a mother who's a concert violinist. I think I broke the mold a little bit.
DM: But when you went into it, how did you approach it mentally? Did you think you were taking a step down from something that's a real sport to something's that not classically thought of as a real sport?
BG: I would say that's the biggest understatement you're ever going to make. The one thing I wanted to do was to play professional football. I never in my wildest dreams would've aspired to be a wrestler. I got hurt playing football, sitting on my ass at home, and my accountant calls me up and says "You know, you gotta get off your ass and go make some money." The next thing you know, I'm shaving my body and wearing my underwear in front of millions of people.
DM: Then after you did that how'd you get into wrestling?
BG: That was my porno career, you guys don't know about. Sorry, Buff.
DM: How does it become so big? When (you were) young, you didn't follow wrestling, did you?
BG: Both of my brothers actually roomed with Ric Flair in college.
DM: I met him too. He seems so grandmioso, you meet him backstage, and he's the coolest guy too.
BG: He's 70 years old, what do you expect?
DM: He's 70?
BG: Nah. (laughs)
DM: I thought there was wrestling years or something.
BG: It's an optical illusion.
DM: But he's over 50 right?
BG: I think he's just bordering 50.
DM: He gets that deranged look in his eye, and you see him in the ring and he's so crazy. Then backstage he goes "Hey Dennis, dig your show."
BG: All right, I got a funny story for you. I'll throw this in real quick about Ric Flair and myself. We're wrestling in Minnesota, we're main event. Obviously he and my family have a huge history...but I have a set up move which is a spear. Tackle Ric, fortunately he didn't die from that. I picked him up and went to lift him over my head. He grabbed me and he goes, "Kid, remember two things: Remember I love you and remember I'm 50 years old."
DM: Now this a big thing. You just said that and it's kinda a benchmark moment in wrestling. It's like the guys who's tipping magic secrets on Fox and everyone's pissed at him. That was always verboten and this always seemed to be. But now they have come out and said it's entertainment.
BG: I heard in the old days if you were found consorting with the enemy, they'd take you in the back and break your arms and legs. But I think reality has set in just a little bit, and people aren't as stupid as they once were. Either that or they look at it in a totally different light. It's purely entertainment, sports entertainment. I like to say that we're athletes just like everyone else. Being in the NFL, I can definitely tell you the caliber of athletes there isn't much higher than the caliber of athletes we have. All around there are some terrific, unbelievable athletes doing this. I'm guilty of saying that I didn't believe that prior to getting into it. They said you had to go to school for 3-4 months, and I said I'll down for 3-4 days. I played professional football, so I can do this shit. I was wrong.
DM: When I see them lift them up and invert them. Their head is down, and they drop down and spike their skull between their crotch. whew.
BG: There are some guys that actually ask to have that done. That's one move I stay away from.
DM: Have to pay 200 yen in Saigon for that. (taking a call) Why do you think they're so drawn to it? Because the kids laugh at it. I know there's all these people who worry about watching it, and obviously you should discourage your kids from trying these moves at home. Some kids are sucked in, but my kids laugh their asses off. They think it's the funniest thing in the world. They like it, they find it exciting, but I don't think they even think it's real. (To caller) What about your kids?
Caller1: My kids love it, but they know it's not real. They know it's entertainment, but they love it. I have a kid in camp, and his whole camp is watching tonight, because of Goldberg. When they were talking about Goldberg, I thought they meant Whoopi.
BG: I hope you're not disappointed.
Caller1: I'm not; you're pretty cool.
DM: It's not Whoopi. It's Whoop Ass. Or is Whoop Ass another guy?
BG: That's another guy.
DM: Sorry, I was just doing it to play off Whoopi and realized it's that other guy.
Caller2: My 10 year old continues to obsess about wrestling. How do I stop it?
BG: Why would you want to stop it?
Caller2: Well it's tough to be slammed into the ground after having your first cup of coffee.
BG: Oh, so he's doing it to you? You should give him his kudos, because he's taking on someone who purely outweighs him. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating. Sorry.
DM: He's living out every Freudian thing you can though. Gettin' up and beat the shit out of mom early in the morning.
Caller3: What sport do you find more challenging, pro football or pro wrestling?
DM: Good question. We got Mike from Wilmington, NC. Somebody had that last caller in a sleeper hold. Mike, ask something we didn't talk about just 3 seconds ago.
Caller4: How long before someone in Washington blames wrestling for all the world's ills?
DM: You hear rumbles about that already with entertainment. Listen, the problems we have in the world are obviously a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I think if your kids are going to watch wrestling, you have to be right there with them, having fun with it. So when they go to watch it, they attach it to you and not some soul exerciser off in a room, falling into these things. And that carries for most of the s*** in this world. Guns, violent movies, all this stuff. It all comes down to you at some point being with the kid and saying listen, let me explain this stuff to you, let me walk you through this. So, you're involved with them. I don't think you can save your kid from all the ills of the world. I went to wrestling that one night, and all I can tell you is that it is one of the best times I've ever had with my kids.
BG: Be responsible, that's all I've got to say.
DM: What do you like most about the job and what do you like the least? It must be brutal travel.
BG: Travel really sucks, believe me.
DM: How many nights a week you got?
BG: Fortunately, I'm hurt right now, so I don't have to work.
DM: Yeah, what happened?
BG: Hurt my knee about 8 months ago. Finally got to the point where it was hurting too bad to go on. Obviously the travel sucks. I work probably 4 days a week in the ring when I'm on. But the good far outweighs the bad, because as you know I like to see the enjoyment the kids get. I do a lot of charity work, and I like to think that I got a second chance at life. The only thing I ever aspired to do was play football. Screwed that up, got hurt. I fell into this wrestling thing, and it's a great avenue to get to these kids. I spend a lot of time at children's hospitals...they look at us like super heroes.
Caller4: Have you ever though of what you might do when you retire. I was thinking politics, maybe you and Jesse Ventura tag teaming at the White House.
DM: Clinton's been tag teaming a lot himself.
BG: Yeah, no kidding. I was on Capitol Hill on Monday speaking on animal rights, but that's as close as I'm going to get to actually staying there for awhile.
DM: All right, you're not wrestling for awhile, what are you going to do? Taking it easy?
BG: You never know with these guys. They could call me up and put me on the show Monday, but I'm going to try to take it easy for awhile. See about actually having a real life, hide in my house and not come out for a couple of weeks.
DM: I saw you with the kids that night and I have to tell you people, it might not be for everybody, but you can't be afraid of this thing. These people are nice people.