She sat in his driveway and tried to get herself together. It was days later before he called her back and suggested a day for them to talk. She thought over and over what she was going to say to him and she was still unsure. She didn’t want to end it with Bill but she missed Nick too; seeing him with her…Lexi made her realize that. She knew she should have figured out what she wanted before she arrived at his doorstep, even before she called but she didn’t; she couldn’t. All she knew was she wanted him in her life and she missed him. The feelings seemed even more intense now than when she was cheating on Bill with him. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the car running her hands down the side of her pants as she walked to the door. She rang the doorbell and thought of making a run for it as she waited. She looked around and cringed when she heard the door open. She turned to see him standing there with a pair of jeans and no shirt. Was that on purpose she thought as she shook her head faintly? He waved her in and she smiled weakly as she walked past him. She could smell his cologne and she noticed his hair was wet,
“Are you going somewhere?” He raised his eyebrows and she figured he thought she was prying and stuttered,
“I just meant your hair is wet and…you aren’t dressed, I can leave if-“ She turned to leave and he grabbed her arm,
“I told you to come over…I just came back from playing basketball.” She nodded and followed him into the kitchen and stood there trying to figure out what to say. She watched as he took a beer out of the refrigerator,
“Want one?” She shook her head,
“Uh no, I don’t drink.” He laughed,
“I know that Shay, I was just kidding.” She laughed lightly and stuck her hands in her back pocket. He walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders,
“What did you want to talk about?” She shivered at the feel of his hands on her, it had been a long time, and she could tell he noticed her reaction as well. Her stomach dropped and she bit her lip,
“Don’t do that.” She released her lip from her teeth,
“Come on, lets go sit, I’m tired.” She nodded and followed him into the living room. He put his feet up on the table and looked at her,
“So…um, what do you want to talk about?” She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands,
“Us.” When she didn't receive a response she looked over to see him staring at her,
“What…what about us? Look, you made it clear the last time, if you’re here to make me feel like crap again-” She shook her head, she knew those harsh words were going to come back to get her,
“No, no I’m not. I’m sorry I was…I was just a little upset. Mad at myself really and I took it out on you.” She watched him nod his head absentmindedly and wasn’t sure if she should go on. She sighed,
“So, your friend is gone?” He looked over at her and nodded,
“Yeah, she left this morning.” Her hands caught her attention again,
“She’s gorgeous.” He nodded his head and turned on the television,
“I’m sure you don’t really want to talk about her.” She rubbed her hands together and mentally gave herself a pep talk. She looked over to see him watching the TV and her eyes ran over his body. She remembered kissing his neck, the way he reacted when she licked his nipples. She smiled at his tummy, he was always so shy about it but she loved his little pudgy tummy and she loved hearing him giggle when she would tickle him.
“I’m confused. I miss you I miss hanging out with you. I…I don’t know what…I don’t want you out of my life. It makes me sad to think that we can’t-“ He looked over at her,
“So you want to break up with Bill and try to make it work?” She hesitated too long and he snorted,
“Oh, I get it. You don’t want to break up with him but you want us to keep seeing each other.” She stood up and sat next to him, if she was going to do it she needed to just say it or she wouldn’t,
“I don’t really know Nick…I know I’m confused…I know I still love you.” He looked at her then shook his head as he closed his eyes,
“Shayna, I don’t want to just sleep with you anymore. Isn’t that what you didn't want? I mean, you said I made you feel bad.” She straddled his lap and cupped his face,
“I love you baby. I know that, I mean I never stopped. I just…I want you…please don’t tell me no.” She leaned down and kissed him and as her hands slid down his chest his mouth opened and her tongue slid inside. Her heart was beating fast and when she heard him moan she smiled inwardly.
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Chapter 50