She couldn’t believe what happened last night. One minute she was sitting in the hotel bar, the next she was having sex with Nick Carter. She wasn’t like this; she didn't know why she did it. Its something she said she would never do. She would never give herself to someone just because they were a celebrity. She didn’t do it for anyone else why did she do it for him? She wasn’t proud of herself at all. How do you live life from city to city going to bed with people she wondered? He seemed to be in a different light now. The way she saw him before was definitely not how she saw him now.
“What are you thinking?” She was so surprised at her own behavior. Maybe this was something he did but it sure wasn’t something she did,
“What are you thinking?” Her head snapped up and looked at him but she couldn’t manage to speak,
“What…are…you…thinking?” She shook her head and to clear out the cobwebs and looked up at him standing across the room. She continued to look at him as he walked over towards her,
“Let me guess. I’m not the kind of person you thought I was huh?” She held her head down and smiled awkwardly as she pushed her hair behind her ear. His voice wasn’t very comforting and there seemed to be an edge to it she thought,
“I guess I just…I don’t know…I guess you always have an image in your head and then it’s not what you thought.” He nodded, however it wasn’t approvingly, it was almost as if he was tolerating her words,
“Even though you know people aren’t perfect you still had that thought in your head about me…why do people do that?” She shook her head,
“What are you doing reading my mind?” Her smile disappeared as he looked on, his face void of emotion,
“This isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I don’t go from city to city picking up women and have sex with them. No matter what people like to think about me.” He stood near the bed and sighed,
“I wanted to hang out and you were fun and it was like you really were interested in me…not how great my hair would feel running through your fingers…not how blue my eyes are…not if the rumors about what I’m like in bed are true…you were talking to me and I kind of wanted to know if that was all you wanted…if that was enough.” She looked down at her hands,
“But I guess not.” Her eyes widened, maybe it wasn’t him who used her; maybe she used him. If he were some ordinary guy, she wouldn’t have slept with him within hours of meeting him. She felt bad and her stomach began to turn,
“I’m not like this. I’ve never done this before.” He looked at her nodded with a seemingly bored expression,
“Guess you hear that all the time.” He looked away from her for the first time and nodded almost as if he was recounting the number of times he had heard that,
“Yeah, yeah I do.” She felt awful, she felt like another groupie. Maybe all groupies weren’t really the stereotypical groupies at all. Maybe they didn't deserve to be dragged over the coals. Maybe they were just like her, someone who was just caught up in the moment standing before someone who previously had been nothing but a dream,
“But I believe you.” She looked up at her eyes caught his and she gave a thankful smile. He placed his hands in his jeans,
“Why?” She pulled the sheets higher and closer to her body and became uncomfortable. She wanted to say she wasn’t sure but she knew why she did it and it wasn’t something she wanted to say,
“Why did I sleep with you?” He laughed a little and shook his head. It made her feel awful; of course he knew why she slept with him, that was obvious in his eyes,
“No, why do you care what I think of you?” She shrugged,
“I don’t know…I just don’t want you to think that I’m just after you to get what I can from you…I’m not like that...I’m a good person.” He sat down next to her,
“So, you don’t want me to fly you around the world, take you on tour and move you into my house?” She snorted,
“No.” He smiled and nodded as he placed his hand on the back of her head,
“I believe you.” He leaned in and kissed her, his tongue entering her mouth briefly before pulling away and smiling at her again. She returned his smile and look down as he walked over to answer the knock on the door. Maybe, he wasn’t that bad person she thought he was. If he was bad, what did that make her? She shook her head and lay back, maybe it’s a little more complicated than she always thought it was.
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