POMS

In 1992, Janice slowly persuades Brian to go visit her brother in Geelong, Australia

We flash back to 1967 when Brian's girlfriend, Pat, tried to persuade him to emigrate to Australia with her. Not that she had much hope. How could Australia compete with Bradford City football team, the Cartwright Hall Art Gallery and six pints of bitter at the Spotted House pub, followed by a shag under the bushes in Manningham Park on a Saturday night, topped off with a pee and fish and chips. Not to mention Shakespeare.

Back in 1992, Janice gradually wear Brian down and he agrees to make the trip to Australia after Christmas. His voice shakes as he asks us `What have I let myself in for?'

Janice and Brian are on the plane on their way to Australia. Brian settles down to a pint of Tetleys and a smoke, only to find out that it's not as easy as he thinks.

Meanwhile we flash back to 1967, on board the Fairstar, where Pat, Brian's ex girlfriend is making friends with the ever so knowing Bruce from Geelong.

Still in 1967, but still in Bradford, the young Brian, missing his Pat, meets young Janice and shows us what fun can be had under the Manningham Park bushes.

Old Brian arrives in Australia. We are in for a shock when we see his legs, and he is in for a bigger on when he sees the Melbourne weatehr.

Brian and Janice return from their visit to Australia. All is not well. Their daughter, Cherie has fallen in love with none other than the son of Bruce and Pat, Wayne.
Meanwhile Dad hates the English weather, beer, TV, you name it. Janice is glad to be home.
Cherie is determined to leave her husband and go to Australia with Wayne. Her Dad would be quite happy to join her but Janice has reservations.

The POMS plays are ideal for One-Act Play Festivals. They are character-driven comedies that showcase any accent experts or maybe that Pommy couple who've never shaken off the strains of Yorkshire (and why should they?).
Each one lasts about 35 minutes and all three make use of a divided stage with spots or lighting taking the action from one plave to another.
Each of the POMS plays has won prizes for script or performances at Victorian One-Act Play Festivals.

Brian and Janice have been naturalised as Australians. Bearing native trees which they were given as a token of their Australianness, they turn up for a committee meeting at the Senior Citizens Centre. The main item on the agenda is a mooted protest against the building of a brothel next door to the Centre. But, what with the report on Mrs Fazakerley's disappearing knickers and the arrival of Mrs Grimley who insists on taking her clothes off at the drop of a - well - panty, the meeting seems to be destined to go on for ever.
Characters: 7 in all - three mature males, three mature females and a young female.