By: Arius of Treve

A question posed...

"In living a Gorean lifestyle, is it proper to ask yourself - 'What would a *Gorean* do' - before proceeding to act?"

If you are living a Gorean lifestyle, the only "Gorean" you should need to ask anything of when it comes to deciding things... is yourself.

Take "Gorean" out of the whole equation anyway. I think in general people should ask themselves what to do in situations, and not seek to emulate the actions of other people... regardless of the possibility of a shared lifestyle and whatever might be its label.

You might look up to someone, admire them, or agree with their ideas/philosophy, but these things should just provide considerations to think on before making your own decisions based on what feels right to you, not what appears to be right for someone you are not. We truly learn from examples when we learn the "why" behind them, not when we simply follow another's lead.

Experience, be it exposure to an idea or an event you participate in, contributes to the development of wisdom. How this wisdom is applied differs with the perspective of each individual and the particulars of what they face. Who I am is not the same as who you are. Likewise, what I have learned is not the same as what you have learned. How I will thus react in a situation may well be different from how you will be moved to behave... even if we both hold similar philosophical beliefs and associated values.

If you have to stop and consider what another person would do in a situation, then you are not necessarily acting in accordance with your own nature, but may instead be attempting to imitate the nature of someone else... no matter how enviable their display may be. There is nothing wrong with doing things differently from others, but there is everything wrong with not being true to yourself.

Now if trying to understand what "Gorean" is, one might look at situations and wonder what those in the books would do, but that is a different case than the question posed here. That would be an analysis of the actions of others with the intent of understanding a cultural mindset and philosophy, rather than the making of a personal decision based on the imitation of some external influence. Such an examination can contribute to the development of wisdom, and can give you thoughts to consider when making your own choices, but they should not be the answer to the decisions you yourself should think on and make.

What another person would do in a situation, and your own choices when facing similar circumstances, may well overlap. If you claim to live a lifestyle based on the same philosophical system as the other, then at times there likely will be a similarity of response if those claims have any depth and truth behind them. But the association should not be due to any surface attempts to fit a mold. It should be the result of a shared understanding of similar values, suggested in part by the life philosophy each ascribes to and applied to given lives based upon the particular perspective of each individual.

- Arius of Treve
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