By: Arius of Treve

The following was written as a response to comments made by another...

You speak of a "slave's journey," of the difficult path a woman takes towards self-discovery, and how a man should help her follow it. How her mistakes and offenses should not be criticized, but understood to be the product of her difficulties, and gently corrected by the Master who is skilled enough and "man enough" to sympathize with the struggles she faces. How he should encourage her through her development, appreciating how difficult her journey can be, and understanding of the "plight of the slave girl." And how a man does not know what a slave goes through unless he "walks the walk," as if he should be focused on her condition and offer a helping hand. I find this all interesting... particularly the use of the word "should" as if to mean by obligation.

I would put to you, conversely, that you have never "walked the walk" of a man. That each of those traveling that path face their own obstacles, which they either overcome or stumble before. Some of these hurdles are internal, placed there by oneself, while others are external, dropped down by a society and its conditioning that faults what is not considered the "norm." Regardless of source, the obstacles that we face are what we grow from, and each person must overcome them through their own determination... not from being carried. Such is true for a slave just as much as for a man.

The path of a Gorean is different from that which others take, hence the particular name. Some paths might be similar, might run alongside for a bit, or even cross temporarily, but they are different and do not seek the same goals or have the same reasons for seeking them. Nor for that matter are the perceptions and definitions of each the same, even if some surface similarities are sought to be claimed.

I do feel that a man, in training his property, develops what she is... quite obviously. The more he develops her to his tastes, the more enjoyable she will be to him and the more a pleasure to own, and it makes little sense to work in opposition to this for he decreases his own enjoyment in the process. Development comes through training and contact (focused on the latter for the Gorean, for training to them isnt really of the common sort thought of by those in D/s type relationships), through him making her become not simply a slave, but a female in the deepest of senses, and particularly in this case - his possession. In so doing, the slave is normally also quite happy, for she is the focus and object of a man whose attentions she desires. Training itself can occur in many forms, ranging from the gentle to the extreme, loving to harsh. How it is done is dependent upon what one wishes to achieve, the particular subject herself, and the nature of the given man. This training does not even need to be a conscious and purposeful thing, for a man can train his property in many degrees just by having her in his presence... such is the effect of a man on a woman.

But she must also put an effort in, one that is consistent with what she claims to be, just as must he. To cross these lines of difference is to confuse the worked for growth, and contradict what is sought to be attained. Mistakes are something that occur during a girl's development, they are obstacles to learn from and overcome, but when they go from error to offense or hypocrisy, it is not the "master's job" to stomach such contradiction, but to act as is appropriate for him as a man, and expect the same in response from the girl who tells him she is a slave.

Those obstacles that are found along a "slave's journey" are not excuses to bemoan one's fate. Difficulties are something to be expected, and are not a chance for a slave to forget what she is and say "this is too hard, move it for me." The expectations of the Master are not subject to the slave's whim and approval. She does not decide that "he is a Master" so long as the road is easy going, and then declare "he is no Master at all" when she is challenged and not willing to focus the energy and devotion to succeed.

The nature of discipline is, in part - to correct the subject, express to her what is right and what is wrong, indicate what the consequences of repeated error are, challenge her to succeed, and impress a clear understanding of the word "place." The reward and punishment equation obviously fits well into this scheme, but in this my obligation as the Master is not to my property. I am not "bringing out the slave within her" for her own good and peace of mind. I do so because she is mine, and I intend to make what is mine as pleasing as possible to me and for me.

See... you have a twisted view of slavery, at least in the Gorean sense. In your posts, and in words you use such as "sympathize" and "encourage," you speak of what one must do for the slave, as if she is owed a debt in return for her submission, supposed submission, conditional submission, possible but not quite yet submission, or whatever. Now perhaps in some other "lifestyle," the Master/slave relationship is built upon this mutual support with the "Dom" holding his little "slave girl" by the hand and walking her down her rough little path, carrying her when she gets tired and putting his jacket over mud puddles lest she get dirty, but all that does not float in the Gorean mindset. In reality, that is just a twisted form of contemporary society, with the words "slave" and "master" dropped in place of "lady" and "gentleman," coupled with the addition of some kinky sex-play. I am not saying this is not fine for some, fine for many even, better perhaps in the eyes of the majority... call it all that, but don't call it Gorean. In the BDSM world, the focus might be on the "slave girl," and the D/s relationship might see her as the center of attention, but Gorean culture does not see things that way. To the Gorean the focus is, rather obviously by what the word "slave" truly means, on the Master/owner.

I can love my slave, want her, prize her, and wish her to be happy, but these things exist because I want them to, because I enjoy them, because I choose to allow them... not because I am obligated or required to present them.

It is not for the Master to change to fit and fulfill the needs of the slave girl, but for the slave girl to change to fit and fulfill the needs of her owner. This simple equation is the reality of a Master/slave relationship, else the words used to define it should be reconsidered in favor of something more appropriate.

Honest attempts to fulfill the needs of one's Master may not be the answer to all that is sought. If the two pieces of the relationship do not fit, no matter how hard they might try, then perhaps it is not a question of failure, but lack of compatibility. Obedience does not necessarily equal compatibility, nor does dominance necessarily lead to the same, but there can be no compatibility without these other things.

I would add one other thing that a friend of mine expressed some time ago - "You wish to know your submission is regarded as something sacred? You will find men who feel this way in the D/s rooms, and many other places. I take a girl's submission and perceive that it is *I* who am giving the gift in taking it, not the other way around."

I don't owe my property anything, except perhaps to simply be a man, and even that is not an obligation to them, but in truth, to myself and my very nature.

- Arius of Treve
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