By: kaige

Many topics are often discussed in great detail concerning slaves and gorean slavery. Some touch upon love, dancing, correct slave behavior, and the delights of being a real time slave girl. All of which are very good reading for a slave, but lately the issue of safety in a gorean setting has been humming around the internet, a very important topic and one that should not be swept under the carpet.

Online, while many people like it because of the anonymity, can be dangerous because of that very fact. As a gorean slave, you will often be the target of unsavory messages, emails, harassment and other such goodies from strange men. To the horny outsider roaming the Internet, you're just a chick with no limits. While this person may be pushy, he is still a free person, and here is where many girls face a dilemma. As a gorean slave, you are required to be obeisant, that does not mean however you have to put yourself at risk. You should not have to dole out pictures of yourself, or give personal information you don't feel comfortable handing out such as phone numbers, addresses, or where you work. Yet, this also does not mean you should compromise the slavery you claim to embrace in declining these requests improperly either.

First, think about why you don't want to give out the information asked for. If you don't want to give out your picture because you've already told someone you're 22 and a size 3, when you're really 32 and a size 16 then your problem isn't so much with safety as it is with truth. If you have any plans on becoming a real time slave then you'd better face the facts and realize you're going to have to fess up sooner or later. Hiding behind a "I don't feel safe giving it out to you" facade isn't going to save you in the long run. On the other hand, maybe you just don't feel safe giving out your picture to someone you just met. Frankly I don't blame you, who knows who's on the other end of the computer? Your aunt Hilda, your uncle Joe, maybe Hannibal Lector? There are ways to get out of these situations safely and without contradicting your slavery. You could for instance, just politely and bluntly decline. This does not mean telling said person to go play in traffic, but simply explaining you are not comfortable giving out your picture at this point. Most will not push you, if they do you can always beg for assistance from another free person. If worst comes to worst you could always seek permission from a Master or Mistress to put the person harassing you on block. No one can force you to give out information, and if they try to, your first instincts were probably correct and you really don't want to give them any information anyway.

Similarly, you should not be bullied into meeting anyone offline you aren't comfortable meeting. Just like with the giving out of information, there are ways to decline meetings you don't feel comfortable with, without being disrespectful. There is a lot of discussions going around about how in order to be a real time slave girl, you need to meet other goreans offline. This is true in some ways. There are experiences and feelings that you just can't recreate online. No amount of cyber kneeling can even hold a candle to doing it in person. You may be kneeling, in shackles, a collar and naked with your keyboard in your lap but it's not the same, and you won't understand that fully until you've knelt at a living, breathing man's feet. This does not mean however that you should just go and pick the first Master that comes along and meet him just to be able to say you've done it. While it's also careless, dangerous and stupid, you're missing the entire point before you even get started. Don't let your want to experience the feelings other girls talk about cloud your better judgment. It is a great experience, but it can just as quickly turn out to be an unpleasant one if you're not careful. Select very carefully who you are going to meet for the first time. A new eager girl who will do anything to just be able say she's met a Master and be able to talk about the "experience" is excellent prey for a predator. Meeting other Goreans offline is wonderful, no doubt about it, but if you're just doing it to be able to say you've done it, you've lost a lot of the value that experience holds and jeopardizing your well being.

I am personally fond of group meetings for many reasons, however meeting with a group you've never met before doesn't negate your need to be careful. Group meetings give you a chance to meet a lot of different people from a community. You're not really alone, and you get to interact with each other in a communal setting rather than just with one person. You also have the chance to meet other slaves and see how they interact with their Masters, serve together, talk together, you will form a lot of strong friendships that way. The only group meetings I know of, are private and by invite only from the community that holds them. This is one of the better things, I think, about being owned by a particular community as a slave. You get the chance to meet other goreans, but in a setting where it's a little bit safer than if you were just floating around and meeting random groups. The community that owns me (Sardaria) calls them "Gatherings", others might be more aquainted with the Silk & Steel term, "Doggle". It is more or less the same thing I imagine, just a different name. You don't need to be owned by a community to meet other goreans in groups though, there's no reason you can't start one near you. I know of quite a few munch type groups in a wide variety of states that meet at different times during the month to discuss philosophy and books. Still, caution should always be used, even in group meetings. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of a false sense of security.

Let's say you do want to meet a certain Master for the first time offline, one on one. For the record I will talk about this from the point of view of a slave meeting a Master, however it's also important to take similar safety precautions if you're meeting a Mistress or another slave as well. There's just as many crazy women as there are men. It's always a good idea to do it in a public place. Ask him a lot of questions, if he's uncomfortable answering questions about what is going to go on during your meeting maybe you should think twice about it. Ask him if he's married, if he has kids, who he has met previously if anyone. If he has met other people, contact them and ask about him. There's no reason to be sneaky of course about it all. Be upfront that you are asking about him, if he has nothing to hide he shouldn't mind anyway. You can ask him for personal information, but keep in mind, if you're uncomfortable giving out similar personal information he might not feel comfortable giving it out to you either. For all he knows, you could be just as dangerous to him as he may be to you. There are probably more nutty slaves running around than there are Masters. Safety is not a one way street, he should be just as cautious as you are. If you don't want to give out your phone number or last name, but you want his driver's license and health record, you may end up with some problems. Find out all you can about him before you go and meet him. Don't just ask him questions, keep your ears and eyes open to what other people say about him. Has he had previous slaves? What happened to them?

Make sure you understand what his expectations are going to be, that way neither of you are going to be surprised. If the idea of going to dinner in a collar for example just completely horrifies you and would be a traumatic experience and it's one of his expectations, perhaps you shouldn't waste his time or your own. Bring up things you are worried about or concerned about now, don't put it off until he's right infront of you. Where you'll be staying (if it's more than a one day thing), his views on punishment, and his expectations as already mentioned, should be addressed before you sit down to dinner with him. If applicable to this particular meeting, don't wait to have the "condom discussion" until he's already naked. You'll be stressed out enough without having to worry about how you're going to bring up certain issues. Make sure you bring extra cash just in case something happens and you need a cab or even a flight home. Safe calls are an excellent idea. A lot of girls think they're silly, or feel embarrassed about them. Well they're not and you shouldn't be, it's your life you're taking in your hands. Gorean slavery is great, it's wonderful, but you can't enjoy it if you're dead. My sisters have been safe calls for me, and I've been safe calls for them, and you can bet your right nipple if I didn't hear the phone ring I'd have called the cops. We've used passwords before, or nicknames to say over the phone if the meeting was going wrong. It may seem silly, but it wouldn't seem that way if your foot was shackled to a wacko's bed and you didn't bother to set a safe call up.

Safety is incredibly important both online and offline when you're a gorean slave. If you're not someone's property now, you are someone's future property and you had best take care of it. Just like anywhere you go, there are a lot of good people in the world and there are a lot of bad ones too. You need to be on the look out. Being a slave does not equate being a victim, do not let yourself become one. If you're careful and aware, gorean meetings are a fulfilling experience, just remember you need to be alive to repeat them. Serve well, and be safe.

- kaige
© 2001 All Rights Reserved