I read something on an IRC website once... calling this the "Gorean Cyber-Lifestyle."
Something about that just really bothers me... it doesnt make me mad or anything, just a little ill and disgusted.
It makes the whole thing sound cheap and shallow.
I have also heard people say that "being real" is "serving paga in an Online 'Real Time' Tavern"... as if that is the true measure of this all. I particularly love the truly confused ones who think being as accurate to the fiction in the books as possible is the definition of "Real Time" in its "purist" of forms.
Total nonsense.
Perhaps somewhere down the line the expression "Real Time" changed from meaning someone who lives a Gorean Lifestyle offline, to a game whose turns go by in real time. ::Shrugs:: Got me.
I think that if a harsh light were cast on many self-proclaimed lifestylers, they would not be able stand confident before it. In reality I think a large portion are doing little more than the pretending they blast gamers over.
"I can serve with perfection, Master." --- Yeah, in a chat room... and so can a thousand gamers.
"But I really feel this Master, this is not a game to me like it is them." --- Yeah... and I know many gamers who "feel" this deeply too... and who come online to "feel" something they cannot find in their Offline life. "Feeling" is all well and wonderful, but what about some actual doing?
In a way, who is being more honest?
The gamer who says the game itself is just pretend... who draws a line between fantasy and reality, and admits it exists.
or
The "cyber-lifestyler male" who needs to run Online to put his "Gor Face" on and escape into what he calls his "true self"... on a computer? Who cyber-sits around in an Online Tavern, cyber-sipping his "paga" as text rolls by depicting inhumanly beautiful creatures fawning over his cyber-muscled seven-foot tall frame. The same "dominant male" whose wife knows nothing of what he does here, and who can't stand up to his boss for that raise he wants.
Or that "cyber-lifestyler female" who lives "in the beauty of her mind," crafting these lengthy cyber-serves and dances... gauging that insignificance as the measure of her "true slavery"... totally unable to really do anything the way she writes it, and neglecting the potential beauty of her life and herself as she sits her lazy rump in the house all day long waxing poetic about all she "feels?"
If the latter two cases are the extent of your expression and exploration... you need to seriously rethink the application of the word "lifestyle" to your online play time.
Lifestyle is the way you live your life. Not the way you dream about wanting to live it, or pretend to on a compter.
Just like a gamer... you are pretending... but the sad thing is you are also deluding yourself in a lie. Instead embracing that concept of self-honesty we all throw around so much and making your real life what you claim to be the truth of your inner self... you are seeking fantasy and illusion as an escape from who and what your existence really is... and unlike the admitted gamer, you are lying to yourself in trying to pass off this "play" as a "life" of any sort.
The Gorean Lifestyle isnt about recreating Gor or its institutions on earth, or for that matter on a computer screen. And no, its not about slavery. It is about applying the philosophy of Gor - the mindset and rationale behind the actions of the characters in the books and the development of their society - to how you live your life, in all ways. The fact that this is not Gor, does not stop anyone from doing this if they truly want to. In fact, if you truly do feel this way, there should be nothing that can stop you, for it will just be what you are - yourself.
If Gorean Philosophy speaks to you (forget about the macho fantasy battles and slave sex nonsense, I'm talking philosophy), and the way the characters look at themselves and their world is something you find to be instinctually correct, then use this as an opportunity to look inside of yourself, to question who you are and what you believe, and then embrace your conclusions and let them direct the life you lead. There can be no more fulfilling a life than one that is honest with itself and seeks to follow the course most natural to it.
Lifestyle is about living and how you live. Its not about pretending and how you dream.
You don't need Gor to live on Gor, or even it to exist as a real place, to agree with its philosophy. You don't need to strut around contemptuously with sword in one hand and paga bowl in the other to embrace your masculinity as a man. You don't need to be kidnapped or forced into slavery to embrace your femininity as a woman (this is the true goal, slavery is just a possible path to it). You just need to not reject your masculinity/femininity, and to make their acceptance the defining force in your life (claiming to live a Gorean Lifestyle has more to it than just that, but this is the biggest of steps and the first that must be taken).
Online can be very useful to the Greater Gorean Community. It provides an easy means for the exchange of information, gathering of like-minded peoples, sharing of ideas, and obvious mass communication over long distances. It can also be fun and entertaining for those who want to explore the fiction of Gor and create alter-egos to enjoy it with others, just like any other game.
But that is all it should be... filler... a tool... an introduction... a meeting place... something enjoyable... a means to an end.
Not an excuse.
Starting Online is fine... so is continuing to use and enjoy it... but if this is supposed to be your lifestyle it has to be taken Offline and has to be the "style" by which you live your "life"... all of it.
Once it has been taken Offline... especially once people have met and know more of what it is to be in the company of like-minded men... the intent of any Online Lifestyle activity should be to bring what was found Offline to the Online setting. The chains of fantasy and illusion should be shaken as much as possible, while what is real is embraced and developed. That feeling that was had Offline, that truth and reality, should be the focus that is constantly sought.
Use what has been created Online to draw people together and converse daily... but focus on what is and can be had Offline, building on what is truly important and using that as the model for interaction and further creation. Base "Real Time" rooms on real life and real people, taking away all the fantasy constructs and excuses. If you really want to have a setting, found it in reality. If you feel you must have serves going on to add more "to do" in the room, then at the very least take away all the paga and such, and make it again, based on our own world. What would it be like if you were all really face-to-face? There should be no difference. Is it tragically wrong to drink Sam Adams in a Gorean RT room? Why should it be if that is what you do offline. You sure don't drink paga.
The truly important thing is the attitude, the mindset, the philosophy that is being shared by those in attendence, and the simple contentment found in being in the company of such others. Simply be real, and be the "Gorean" you say you are off the computer and in your life.
That is not to say you cant enjoy the fantasy side of Gor, just call gaming rooms what they are - gaming rooms - with no shame in so doing, especially if the attempt is to play as close to the world shown in the books as possible. If you want to open a room where people who live the Gorean lifestyle can "escape" to a fantasy Gorean setting, then do so, but admit it for what it is - a form of game - no matter how serious the "muns" behind the screenames may be.
All the theory and worded repetition in the world, be it debate or play, will just make you familiar with ideas and able to talk about them. This can be great as a foundation for thought, but it's only through true application, followed by personal reflection... and not some cyber-BS... that wisdom and understanding is developed in any real way.
Time to take up the challenge. Time to leave the nest and fly.
- Arius of Treve
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"Step out of your cave. The world awaits you like a garden. The wind is playing with heavy fragrances that want to get to you, and all the brooks would run after you... Step out of your cave. All things would be your physicians."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
