By: kaige

Friendship is a large part of the social structure of Gor. However, when we think about friendship in the Gorean sense, we usually limit ourselves to the consideration of groups such as two slaves, two free women, or two free men. We already know free men have no trouble creating friendships with one another. We also know slaves are often bonded together in the same close relationship. The question that has been brought to my attention is not whether slaves and men can have friends, but whether slaves and men can be friends. More simply, can a free man have a friend who is a slave?

To do this perhaps we would have to look at it from a different angle, starting with the question "What is friendship?". It is, in my opinion, the bond created by two people founded upon things such as affection, respect, and equality. The first trait, affection could very well be applied to a slave. We are after all, as slaves, trained to be pleasing. Most of us are intelligent, creative, and happy creatures, why wouldn't someone find pleasure in being around us? A large part of friendship is the simple enjoyment of being around a particular person. Slavery does not hinder that part of the relationship, if anything our bondage would make it easier.

However, let's go on and look at the next necessary trait, respect. This is a shakey subject when it comes to slaves. Respect is not something often given to a slave, it's certainly not something owed to us, we are after all the equivalent of animals. Respect is essential to a friendship though, you cannot be truly friends with someone who's respect you do not have. It is not to say a man cannot respect certain things about the slave. A man may respect her ability to dance, write, or perhaps some other talent or trait about her. If you look at it through an analogy, you could perhaps compare a slave to a dog or family pet. Do you respect your dog the same way you respect your neighbor? A dog, an animal, you may feel much affection towards and may respect the fact she can jump through hoops or fetch really well, but it is not the same form of respect you have for your neighbor or roommate.

Perhaps it can be said that friendship is dependent upon being on a similar level socially, which then leads us to the third foundation of friendship, equality. This right away rules out the idea of a slave being friends with a free man. Equality is very important to this form of relationship. A friend is someone you can be blunt with, who you will stick up for in times of trouble, who holds your opinion over most other's, and who is loyal. A slave is not an equal, she cannot speak so freely as perhaps a free person friend can. You can be blunt with your friend when he/she does something stupid. This requires judgement from one to the other. We know a slave is not supposed to judge the free, or correct their actions. This part of the relationship could not apply in a Master/slave friendship. She also cannot stick up for her free friend. To defend someone is to exhibit free will, and most likely toward another free person. This would prove costly to a slave girl. Her opinion means little in the matters of free people. When it comes down to the word of a slave girl or a free person, he is not going to take the word of the slave. Too, she cannot be loyal to him, for in the end her Master is the one she answers to obediently. No secret could be safe with her, she is not allowed to hide things from her Master. Friendship without equality, is not friendship.

Does this mean then, that there is no friendship at all between Masters and slaves? No, perhaps it is just that this relationship is not suitable to be grouped in with the same definition of friendship as that of free people. Possibly, lumping the friendship between a Master and slave with that of free people is as foolish as lumping the love of Master and slave with that of free companions. It is different, not wrong, just different and the fact Goreans embrace the intricate differences in life is part of what makes it so appealing. A slave and Master may not be friends in the same way two free people are, but that does not make the relationship any less meaningful. That fond connection between the two simply does not fit the general definition.

- kaige
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