By: Arius of Treve

"Tears are not unbecoming to the soldier,' said Callimachus. 'The soldier is a man of deep passions, and emotion. Many men cannot even understand his depths. Do not fear your currents and your powers. In the soldier are flowers and storms. Each is a part of him, and each is real. Accept both. Deny neither."

- GUARDSMAN OF GOR, Pg. 238

"He threw down the ax, which rang on the stones of the road to Ko-ro-ba. Zosk sank down and sat cross-legged in the road, his giagantic frame shaken with sobs, his massive head buried in his hands, his think, guttral voice moaning with distress.
At such a time a man may not be spoken to, for according to the Gorean way of thinking pity humiliates both he who pities and he who is pitied. According to the Gorean way, one may love but one may not pity."

- OUTLAW OF GOR, Pg. 31

I place these two quotes together for a reason, as they compliment one another in the point I wish to make. Goreans are not at all afraid to express their emotions, they are true to themselves, and in being so, find strength in the acceptance of themselves. But while they see nothing wrong with the emotional display of a man crying, they denounce the concept of pity, why?

Pity in many ways can be demeaning to the individual, both the one receiving and the one giving. Goreans are known to be very proud. The expression of one's emotions does not rob a man of his pride (though it can if he wallows in that emotion and begins feeling "sorry" for himself), but the pity of another man, in many ways does. In effect, a display of pity is a statement of feeling that the target has failed in some way, is incapable, or is "beneath you." This does not mean a man cannot be compassionate towards another, not at all, compassion and pity are quite different things. One man can feel sorrow for another, or wish to help, but he will not rob the other man of his pride though a patronizing comment or gesture. To do so is to demean the other man, and rudely intrude on something personal. In some cases it also implies that the troubled one cannot succeed on his own, robbing him of his pride and self-worth. A man may seek to aid a friend or fellow, but the act is selfless and done in a manner to not bring attention (though it could be a blunt "slap" of sorts if such were needed to help that friend find his strength again, even a public one). It is not a handout or coddle, but a shoulder standing by the friend through the difficulty, not above him. It is an act of faith in which the one showing his concern displays his belief that the other man is fully capable on his own. The implication is that of a friend helping a friend, not the strong "carrying" the weak.

A Gorean will also not make the direct point to bring attention to the plight of another. While again he may be sympathetic, he will not damage the others pride by pointing out the difficulties he faces. To do such not only humiliates the target, but also marks the speaker as a man of either low intellect or character. While might may make right, gloating over or finding morbid curiosity in the plight of another, simply does not.

- Arius of Treve
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