Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation,
dies and goes to heaven.
At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy
and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out
with anyone you want to in Heaven." Davidson thinks about it and says, "I
wanna hang out with God, Himself."
So the befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur
to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.
Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
God says, "Why, of course."
"Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.">
"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer,
types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints
out a slip of paper and God reads it.
It may be that my invention is flawed," God replies to Arthur Davidson,
"but according to My Computer, more people are riding my invention than
yours."
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses
that they were 'protecting'.
Feeling the heat from the police force,
they decided to use a deaf person for this job,
if he were to get caught,
he wouldn't be able to easily communicate
to the police what he was doing.
During his first week on the job
the deaf collector picks up over $50,000.
He gets greedy, and decides to keep the money
and stashes it in a safe place.
The Mafia soon realize that their collection is late,
and send some of their hoods after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector
and ask him where the money is.
The deaf collector can't communicate with them,
so the mafia drag the guy to an
interpreter who can sign.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter,
"Ask him where da money is.
"The interpreter signs,
"Where's the money?"
The deaf man signs, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood,
"He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in
the ear of the deaf collector.
"NOW ask him where da money is."
The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"
The deaf man signs, "The $50,000 is in Central Park,
hidden in the third tree stump on the left
from the West 78th Street gate."
The interpreter says to the hood,
"He says he still doesn't know what
you're talking about, and says
" you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."