Dressed in red
All fat and hairy
And you wonder why
Kids find him scary
A fat old freak
Who drinks too much
Who stinks like farts
And gropes his crotch
He sits and waits
Deep in his lair
He never bothers
With underwear
He’s contemplating
Girls and boys
He knows they’re queuing
To ask for toys
He calls them in
One at a time
He waits a year
To commit his crime
He sits them down
Upon his knee
A gift for them
A grope for he
Parents with cameras
His eyes like berries
Children in terror
He grabs their cherries
ho ho he bellows
To muffle the scream
This makes nightmares
It doesn’t make dreams