If you are well,then there is nothing to worry about;

         But if you are sick there are only two things to worry about;

   BILL GATES OF MICROSOFT  (MODIFIED VERSION OF DIL        TO PAGAL HAI)

           BILL TO PAGAL HAI.......

           BILL DEEWANA HAI.....

          ACHE BURE SOFTWARES BANVATA HAI YAHI,

           HASATA HE YAHI, RULATA HAI,

           USME PHIR 'BUGS' DALTA HAI WOHI,

          AUR SOLUTIONS BHI NIKALTA HAI,

          BILL TO PAGAL HAI.......

          BILL DEEWANA HAI.....

          ISS BILL KI BATO MEIN JO AATAY HAIN,

          WO TO ULLU BAN JATTE HAIN,

          SOFTWARE TO DOOSRE BHI BANATE HAIN,

          BANAKE MAGAR KHO JATAY HAIN,

          HMMMMMM  BILL TO PAGAL HAI.......

          BILL DEEWANA HAI.....

          SOFTWARES KO MAIN NA PEHCHANOONGA,

          WORKING BHI NA MEIN USKI JANOONGA,

          MICROSOFT KA LOGO BUSS MEIN DEKHOONGA,

          BILL JO kahaiga wohi manoogaa

          BILL TO PAGAL HAI.......

          BILL DEEWANA HAI.....

          BILL KA KEHNA HUM SAB MAANAY,

          USKI STRATEGY JAAN LI HAMNE,

          EK WOHI NA MAANE.

          BILL TO PAGAL HAI.......

          BILL DEEWANA HAI.....

          CHORO YE BILL KI SAB KAHANIYAN,

         'BUGS' KI HAIN SAB HE NISHANIYA,

          PROGRAMMERS KI SARI PARESHANIYA,

          ISS BILL KI HAIN YE MEHERBANIYA.

          HMMMMMMMM BILL TO PAGAL HAI

          BILL DEEWANAAAA HAI .

         Meray MSN Kee Window May

     Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hay

     Afsoos Ya Hay Kay Wo Hum Say

     Kuch Away Away Sa Rahta Hay,

     Meray M S N Kee Window May

     Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hay,

     Jis Roz Say Add Kiya Us Ko

     Hum Dosron Say Chat Karna Bhol Gaee,

     Mouse Tham Kay Asay bethay hain

     Click karna hum Bhol Gaee

     Aaj Talak Buddy List May

     Wo Chanchal Buddy Away Rahta Hay

     Meray M S N Kee Window May

     Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hay,

     Khaleh Bhee Akaay Chalaee Gaeen

     Friend Bhee Logout Ho Gaee.

     Par Us Kee Ek Message Ko Hum

     Aye Husan Kay Malik Tarap Gaee.

     Kab Piyas Bhuja Ge Mayree Chatting Kee

     Din Raat Ya Dukhra Rathta Hay

     Meray M S N Kee Window May

     Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hay

   FUN DOO DEFINATIONS:

  Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman  gains her master.

  Doctor :A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

  Software Engineer : One who is paid for sending and receiving such E-mails!

  Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

  College : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

  Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

  Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

  Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

  Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit      to decide that nothing can be done     together.

  Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

  Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

  Optimist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

  Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

  Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the    trip.

  Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

  Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

  Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

  Father : A banker provided by nature.

   Rumour : News that travels at the speed of sound.

  Criminal : A guy no different from the rest of us...except that he got caught.

  Worry : Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

  Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

   Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

   Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

    Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

   A TYPICAL MALE 

     If you treat him nice

      He says, "Yar mujhe line de rahi hai"

      If you don't

      He says, "She's too proud."

      If you dress nicely

      He says, "She trying to impress me."

      If you don't

      He says, "You're tasteless."

      If you argue with him

      He says, "You're stubborn."

      If you don't

      He says, "You have no brains."

      If you act smarter

      He'll lose his face as you're insulting him.

      If he acts smart, he thinks it's his right.

      If you don't love him,

      He'll try to posses you.

      If you love him,

      He'll try to leave you.

      If you don't kiss him,

      He says, "You don't love me."

      If you do

      He says, "You're so cheap."

      If you don't share your problems with him

      He says, "You don't share anything with me."

      If you do

      He says, "You bother me a lot."

      If you break a promise

      He says, "I can't trust y! ou anymore."

      If he breaks a promise,

      He says, "Jaan mein majboor tha."

      If you scold him

      He says, "You act like a nanny."

      If he scolds you

      He says, "It's because I love you."

      If you smoke

      He says "You're a bad girl."

      If he smokes

      He says, "I'm a man."

      If you get good grades

      He says, "It was luck."

      If he gets good grades

      He says, "It was brains."

      If you hurt him

      He says, "You don't care about me."

      If he hurt you

      He says, "You're so sensitive"

      this is so true :)

    Shaadi ke pehle aur baad

    Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya

    Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya???

    Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

    Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

    Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai

    Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

    Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye

    Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

    Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge

    Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

   Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap

    Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

    Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:-)

    Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:-(

    Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani

    Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

    Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi

    Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky!!!!!

   Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen

    Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

  always smile :)

    I  am  bachelor, in second I am lover, in third I am    married man.

       As bachelor:

           Takdir hai, magar kismet

           nahin khulti.

           Taj Mahal banana chahta hoon,

           Magar Mumtaz nahin milti

           As lover:

          Takdir hai, magar kismet

          nahin khulti.

          Mumtaz mil gayi hai

          Magar shadi naheen karti

          As married MAN:

          Takdir hai, magar kismet

          nahin khulti.

          Taj Mahal banana chahta hoon,

          Magar Mumtaz nahin marti

    IT'S Shayeri

        Abhi abhi to pyaar ka computer kiya hai chaaloo

        Aab main dil ki hard disk pe aur kitni files daaloon

        Apne chehare se ruswaai ka error to hatao

        Ai jaaneman apne dil ka password to batao

        Woh to hum hain jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhte hain

        Warna aap jaise kitney hi softwares bazaar main bikte hain

        Roz raat ko aap mere sapne main aate ho

        Mere pyar ko mouse bana ke ungaliyon pe nachaate ho

        Tere pyar ka email mere dil ko Lubhataa hai

        Par beech main tere baap ka virus aataa hai

        Aur karvaaoge humse kitnaa intezaar

        Hamaare dil ki site pe kabhi enter to maro yaar

        Apni insult ka badalaa dekhna main kaise loonga

       Jaaneman tere baap ko Shift Delete kar doonga

       Aap jaiso ke liye dil ko cut ker diya karte hai

       Warna baaki cases main to copy paste kiya karte hai

       Aapka hasnaa aap ka chalnaa aap ki woh style

       Aapke adaaon ki hamne save hai kar li file

      DES OR PARDES

   1. Mother-in law

    In Des - A woman capable of making your life miserable.

    In Pardes - A woman you never fight with, because where  else you will find such a dedicated baby-     sitter for free?

   2. Husband

    In Des - A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to     serve him, his parents and siblings.

    In Pardes - Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs      to be vacuumed.

   3. Wife

  In Des - A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower.

  In Pardes - A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty after you take a bath and you are on             your own mercy

  4. Friend

  In Des - A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be      welcome.

  In Pardes - A person who you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.

  5. Son

  In Des - A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.

  In Pardes - A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you ask him to mow        the lawn.

  6. Daughter

  In Des - A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes when her   doli is about to leave.

  In Pardes - A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before     any doli time

  7. Father

  In Des - A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed.

  In Pardes - A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college                  tuition.

  8. Desi Engineer

  In Des - A person with a respectable job and lots of ooper ki kamai.

  In Pardes - A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.

  9. Desi Doctor

  In Des - A respectable person with ok income.

  In Pardes - A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor ki       biwi".

  10. Bhangra

  In Des - A vigorous punjabi festival dance.

  In Pardes - A Deshi dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.

  11. Software Engineer

  In Des - A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue American            consulate visa line.

  In Pardes - The same hi-tech guy, who does prayers everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the        US (or wherever) every year.

     A When the baby look like the father, its Biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, its Sociology!

    Q What is the difference between a good secretary & an excellent one?

      A. A good secretary says, "Good morning, sir." & an excellent secretary says, "It's morning, sir."