ERIC STOLTZ  GLOSSARY

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ALAN TOFSKY – A passive-aggressive person who gets under your skin and makes you freak with frustration.  One who makes a normal person insane.  See Mad About You “My Boyfriend’s Back” or any other episode with the character Alan Tofsky.

ANGRY MIME –  1. The character Eric Stoltz played in “Singles”  2.  An eccentric character who speaks too loudly and has a sarcastic wit

Alan Tofsky

A JIMMY – A self-absorbed, vain idiot.  See “Hi-Life”

MUPPET WALK –  1.  The most charming move ever captured on film.  See “Mr. Jealousy”   2.  An unexpected goofy gesture by a date that completely charms you

ROOSTER – A nickname for Eric Stoltz.  See “Say Anything”

Muppet Walk

STOLTZ STRUT – A hilariously creepy dance by a guy who has no clue that he can’t dance worth beans.  See “Grace of My Heart”

VAHLERE – A guy who hangs around high-schoolers and still re-lives his high-school days even though he’s at least 5 years out of high school.  See “Say Anything” and the non-Eric Stoltz film "Dazed and Confused"

Lakewood Rooster

Stoltz Strut

ANACONDA - A "what were you thinking?" moment.  As in "Everyone's entitled to an Anaconda now and then."  (see also "Keys to Tulsa")

LUSTFUL - 1.  Eric's eyes in the 2nd car scene in Gay/Straight Alliance.  2.  How we feel about Eric. (contributed by Adia)

SUPER-SENSITIVE TO STOLTZ VISION – Laser-sharp vision that enables our Superhero Sprouty to spot Eric and leap rows of theatre seats in a single bound (thanks to Sprouty)

In progress, will accept most suggestions.

STOLTZING - That's what several husbands call it when their wives are surfing the net for anything to do with Eric.  As in "Are you Stoltzing AGAIN?"    (contributed by Chris)

ERIC STOLTZ SUPERFAN – If… you have an ES-related nickname (ex. Sprouty as “Alan Jr.”), you scan astrology books to see if Eric’s sign and your sign are compatible, you own at least 10 ES movies but have seen at least 30, you’ve dyed your hair red (or have seriously considered it), you suddenly giggle when someone accidentally quotes an Eric line, you’ve recently done research on the different types of squirrels, you’ve written “Eric likes [fill in here], I like [fill in here], we must be meant for each other!", you’ve thought to yourself “Forget guest star, I want ES cast as male lead in MY HOUSE” every day since ‘Experience is the Teacher’ aired, you’ve started thinking mimes and horn-rimmed glasses are sexy, you use the term "my Eric" in normal conversation and people think you're talking about someone you've actually met, you’ve spent days arguing over whether Eric’s eyes are blue, green or gray, you've spent $100 on a GSA script because it contains the "almost-kiss" car scene, you've spent $200 on a rare short film starring Eric, because hey, it has Eric and you can always go on vacation another year, you've framed your Eric Stoltz and Julia Whelan photos and put them in your living room next to the rest of your "family" photos, someone sarcastically calls your posts the “Eric Stoltz Deification Thread” and you swell with pride, you’ve daydreamed of having 3 sons so you can name them Eric, August, and Dimitri, “Woo-woo-woo” and “That's Captain America, baby” are now part of your vocabulary, You've flown in from another country or state just to see Eric perform in a play, someone has said to you on more than one occasion “For crying out loud, stop your whining!  Mr. Dimitri does NOT exist and he will NOT appear in your living room!” then you, my friend, are a SUPERFAN.  And we understand you.  (thanks to Grazi, Darya, Celin, Bambi, Chris, Sprouty, Shiloh, Lise, Nancie, Emily, Stargrrl, Ana, D., Adia, Glossi, Ilona, Alba, Jennybelle, Dreamin, Zenica, Lisbeth, Andrea R1, Andrea R2, Melfan, Kristina and  many many others.)

And yes, all of the above HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED to at least one person I know.

I like him, but am I in Sprouts with him? - Hmm, well you remember the main female character in Running Hot? When she saw Eric on TV in handcuffs at the beginning and kissed and caressed the TV? Then she rescued him, humored him, held him, and fell in love with him? Also ignored the fact that he was a convicted killer because boy was he a cute redhead?  If you can identify with her, then yes, you are in Sprouts with him.

Upon hearing Eric Stoltz sing "Snuggle Puppy" on your 3-year-old niece's  Philadelphia Chickens children's cd, did you offer to trade her your entire Pink Floyd album collection in exchange for that cd?  Yeah, me too.

ESP: Eric Stoltz Preoccupation. A wildly unpredictable phenomena. You never know just when you could catch it. So far, there is no cure. It is aptly described as a state where suddenly "everything means something", and that something somehow ends up being All Eric, All the time.  (thanks to Sprouty and Andy)

I'm stoltzed: I'm totally psyched.  Woo!

Thanks to everyone for their great sense of humor.