Jump To Text Version Wanna Be A Mama Bear



                   

Bears


I Wanna Be A Momma Bear

In this life I'm a woman.

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate,

you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear,

you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)

while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute

cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.

You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear,
your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.

He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs

and excess body fat.

Yup... gonna be a bear.











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