GRANDMA AND GRANDPA provide and are the keepers of all your EMOTIONS.
when the world closes in on you as a child -- one of your most cherished
places was with grandma and grandpa. There you could sense a bit of
heavenly peace - love - and comfort. Think now of what earthly material
thing that is more valuable than your loving Grandma and Grandpa.

To fill your EMOTIONAL needs means more than money or possessions. We
all need and love grandma and grandpa, as their gift is the most
valuable of them all.

Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you find out that
money cannot be eaten

~Cree Prophecy~

You Can't Win With Me

by Jane Warland 1996

If you say to me,"How are you doing?" with such sympathy and
meaning in your voice I reply,"I'm fine," and brush you off,
because to talk about my loss with you is just too painful.
If you see me and don't mention the loss that is consuming my thoughts,
I think you don't care enough,
or are too scared to mention it for fear that you might upset me.
You can't win with me.

If you say,"I'm sorry your baby died," it is hard for me to reply to that.
What do you expect me to say?
I want to say,"I'm sorry too!" or "It's Awful!"
I want to scream,"It's not fair!!"
But I won't because I don't want to upset myself today, not in front of you.
So I reply,"Thank you."

That thanks means so much more than that.
It means thanks for caring,
thanks for trying to help,
thanks for realizing that I'm still in pain.

If you don't know what to say to me that's okay because I don't
know what to say to you either.
If you see me smile or laugh don't assume
I must have forgotten my baby for the moment,
I haven't, I can't, I never will.

Tell me that I look good today.
I will know what you mean I'm getting good at picking up unspoken cues from you.
If you see me and think I look upset or sad, you are probably right.
Today might be an anniversary day for me, or some event might have triggered a wave of grief in me.

If you don't say anything I'll think you don't care about me, but
if you do say something,
it might make me feel worse.
You could try asking if I want to talk, but don't be surprised if I say no.
You can't win with me.

Don't give up on me, please don't give up.
I need your attempts however feeble, however trite you might feel they are
I need your thoughts.
I need your prayers.
I need your love.
I need your persistance.

I need all that but most of all I need to be treated normally,
like it used to be before all of this happened.
But I know it's impossible.
That carefree, naive person is gone forever, and I am mourning that loss too.
So you can't win with me

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