AN: This story came to me as I was walking in the door to work. As such, I had eight hours to mull it over without actually being able to write anything down, so it went through some very drastic changes before it got anywhere close to paper. Originally, it was going to be about Sam leaving Pete but, as much as I’d like to do that, I can’t because I haven’t seen any of the episodes that deal with their relationship (Curse you Canadian Cable! Except the Space Channel). The little voice said very softly “Why don’t you write it about Jan–”and then the little voice was horribly killed. So I went back to the beginning for this story. Pretty much all the way.

I took a fair bit of creative liberty with this. My apologies to everyone who’s picky about stuff like that.

Disclaimer: If I owned any part of Stargate SG-1, Pete would have been painfully assassinated a very long time ago.

Spoilers: Implied for “The First Commandment”, but not really.

Summary: She wants to see the world alone again.

Hunter

Sam Carter’s fairy tale was handed to her on a silver platter. The poor, motherless girl who had grown up pretending to be a boy so that her father would love her, was going to live happily ever after after all. She had fought a war in a foreign country and found love in a far away land. They returned home together and moved into a small, military issue house in Washington DC.

They lived in Washington because he didn’t want her to have a field assignment. She ended up in the Pentagon, up to her ears in astrophysics and happy as a clam. So happy, in fact, that several months passed before she realized that she was routing herself towards a life spent a desk while he was still on active duty. She said nothing, because she was finally getting a normal life.

And then her work got classified.

Her theoretical physics turned out to be not so theoretical after all. Apparently, interstellar travel would indeed be possible, if only she could figure out how to make the device work.

It wasn’t so bad when he was away on tours. He didn’t want to talk about work in his letters or the rare times he called. When he got home, it didn’t start right away either, he was too busy re-establishing his ties to her. But after a few weeks, it became all too apparent. He didn’t like it that the USAF prevented her from telling him every detail about her day.

With one light on

In one room

I know you’re up

When I get home

With one small step

Upon the stair

I know your look

When I get there

The program was getting busier, closer to the end of schedule. Her days were getting longer. She packed their lunches and ate breakfast standing up now, and put his dinner in the oven and left instructions before she left. He never waited for her before he ate, but he would always sit with her at the table, drilling her with questions she couldn’t answer.

If you were a king up there on your throne

Would you be wise enough to let me go?

For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter, again

I want to see the world alone, again

To take my chance on life, again

So let me go

He shipped out, back across the Atlantic, for a duty tour. She woke up every morning at 0600 so she would be at work early enough to come home in time for his phone call, should be make one, because of the time difference. Sometimes, she would stare into the spare bedroom, imagining it pink or blue and wondering if normal was supposed to be so stifling. Then her toast would pop up and it would be back to a reality which was settling down and becoming comfortable, if at times lonely.

The unread book

The painful look

The TV’s on

The sound is down

One long pause

Then you begin

“Oh look what

The cat’s brought in”

At first his attentiveness was sweet, his need to be close to her endearing. But as the months went passed, she grew wary. She began to doubt that he was concerned for her and wondered if he could possibly be jealous. She didn’t understand. He knew she was sacrificing what could have been a great career for him; he’d been there when her CO told him so. But she was starting to think he was glad she would never make higher than Captain.

If you were a king up there on your throne

Would you be wise enough to let me go

For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter, again

I want to see the world alone, again

To take a chance on life, again

So let me go

Let me leave

The general told her she’d be reassigned if she wanted it. Colorado, and she’d go through it, if it worked. She had no doubt that it would, having figured it out herself. She felt she should ask him before she accepted, and brought it up over a dinner she had just about killed herself to be home in time for. Really, his life wouldn’t change much, he would just report to a different officer, and be integrated into a new company. People in the military had to be accustomed to transfers. But her classification was even higher now, which meant he liked it even less. He said something about really clicking with his men here and not wanting to leave them. She couldn’t look in the general’s eyes when she requested to stay at the Pentagon. She had her normal life, and living it was killing her.

For the crown you’ve placed upon my head

Feels to heavy now.

And I don’t know what to say to you

But I’ll smile anyhow.

And all the time I’m thinking

Thinking...

She stuck it out for one more year. He had come home and asked her to marry him. She’d said yes, and she had meant it. For him, for this normal life, she would give all she had. She was at her desk running a simulation of something she had given up ever experiencing when the general came in. He said they needed the best, and that she had been specifically requested. She looked at her fingers for only a nanosecond before replying, and she left the ring behind her when she left.

I want to be a hunter, again

I want to see the world alone, again

To take a chance on life, again

So let me go

Sam Carter’s fairy tale ending did not come on a silver platter. The strong woman, whose father loved her in a way she didn’t fully understand until the snake who possessed him explained it, was going to live happily ever after after all. She would go to war for planets that no one had ever heard of and she would find love close to home. She would never stand still, and she would never be normal. She would live.

Finis

gravitynotincluded September 1, 2004

AN: I love this song (Dido’s Hunter) here for a couple reasons. Firstly, it lends itself nicely to angst, which is always fun when you’re writing Sam, and secondly because I like the irony given what ends up happening to Jonas.