By Stephen Gray
You asked me to come back to this strange and beautiful land. I agreed to do so. But I sincerely hope this is the last time. One’s thoughts and beliefs can become contaminated and suppressed here. It is dangerous to have normal opinions in this country. You said you detected more weird and bizarre happenings here and needed an update. So I have done as instructed and mingled once again with the earthling inhabitants. Here is my second report.
Their old leader has been overthrown. It was a peaceful uprising from some of his palace guard. They had been conspiring behind his back and bought off most of his followers. He had to leave but went unwillingly. The old leader is now practicing law and dispensing his wisdom to other lawyers in the practice. He has hung out his shingle and he advertises under the slogan: “Da proof is da proof if it’s proven.” A good slogan for an excellent lawyer. He should be right at home working in the profession. Perhaps someday he’ll even be appointed to the bench.
Their new leader is a man of impeccable credentials and financial acumen. He is an expert on money and taxes. He used to be in charge of financial affairs in the country. A successful business man, he has also owned a shipping line and some of the ships are registered in an offshore tax haven. A tax haven is a place where some of the powerful and wealthy register to avoid paying taxes in their homeland. The homeland is in an uproar at the moment. It seems huge amounts of money have been misused and misappropriated. Some people are saying it was a huge robbery of taxpayers’ dollars. But nobody has gone to jail. The new leader has promised to get to the bottom of it. He says he is mad as hell. He also states his government is not corrupt. He says the old leader is a man of integrity. It has been said that some people were “kiting cheques” and “falsifying invoices.” One newspaper in an editorial has called what is happening in the land, “… moral rot…” Others are saying it is time to move on, and there are more important things in life than the theft of the peoples’ tax dollars. Myself, I don’t know what to think. Perhaps I should take the advice of their old leader who said: “I don’t think anymore.” I told you this was a weird land; nothing makes sense. Nonsense is an acceptable language here.
They have a lady here who is not quite the Queen of the Land but does seem to have some influence. Her title is: “Her Expensiveness, The Gee, Gee.” She has all her expenses paid for by the people and is prone to taking many trips at the peoples’ expense. She flies here, there and everywhere as the saying goes. Sometimes she takes an entourage with her, all expenses paid. She does not have to account to anyone. All questions to her are answered by saying: “I am above politics.” That is very true. Her head is in the clouds most of the time. The only thing she is not above is spending the peoples’ money. One junket she and her entourage went on included wine tasting in their itinerary. It is said they enjoyed the wine so much that they might have been singing the song: “Little old wine drinker me.” Some people are calling it the freeloaders flying feast of taxpayers dollars. They might even have got air miles as well. Anyway, I’m sure they had a happy time at the peoples’ expense.
I told you in my last report from this land, they were contemplating allowing people of the same sex to marry each other. This has now happened in some parts of the country. Don’t ask me how this can be called “marriage” for it cannot produce any children and is not natural. Suffice to say that in this country many things are unnatural. And sometimes, if things are judged to be wrong this can be called, “ass backward judgments.” Some dissenters amongst the people say that slogan describes some of the judiciary. I am not sure which type of backward judicial asses they are talking about. It could be a horse’s ass or some other political ass. There are all kinds of them here in the ruling class. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate. Their ruling document, “The Charter” is always credited for these queer and unusual judgments. But it is said the people love their Charter. Rumor has it that paper copies of it will soon be posted in all public places, even the public toilets. Myself, I don’t think this is a good idea to have paper copies available in the toilets, some people might use the Charter for purposes not intended. Still, if that type of usage should take place perhaps it could be called “artistic merit?”
I watched their House of Governance on T.V. the other day it was an educational experience. The new leader was being questioned about millions of missing money. He said he knew nothing. Yet he was in charge of the land’s finances at the time. Insults were being traded back and forth across the House. The end result was a standing ovation for him from his followers. Incompetence and ignorance and knowing nothing about millions of dollars of the peoples’ money disappearing is rewarded by applause here. Still this is a land of tolerance. People here speak no truths, see no truths, and hear no truths. The truth has been banished. The Human Rights Police (HRP) make sure of that. Unless of course you are a Christian who dares to speak the truth then you can be reviled, ridiculed and repressed.
The police are said to be investigating the missing millions. Perhaps they will find it. It is reported they received money from some of these government sources, so they will have to investigate themselves. One newspaper report said the police had, “destroyed or mysteriously lost documents detailing how they spent close to $1.45-million in sponsorship money…”
Anyway to ensure no conflict of interest, the police have handed over their investigation of themselves to another police department. Only this police department also got some of the money. One opposition member had this to say: “It looks like some kind of a merry-go-round of keystone cops investigating one another.” If this all sounds confusing it is. Still, at least the police trust each other.
There is a leadership race for leader of the opposition party. One of the contestants is a rich lady with corporate connections. She wants to bake a bigger economic pie. Some people are saying she’s all pie in the sky. Still she has powerful people behind her so they must want a piece of the money pie.
I watched their national sport on T.V. the other night. It is called hockey, a great game, and I love it. The players have a stick and chase a puck. The expert on the game is a guy called Don Cheery, he is a smart old pucker. He got into big trouble with the Official Languages Police (OLP) and was charged with the crime of word assault on identifiable visor wearers. He tells it like it is. But any truth is a crime here. So the old pucker got a seven second delay in the penalty box. The complaint against him was instigated by one person.
There is talk of an election soon. Around 40% of the people don’t vote. Of the people who do vote, the latest polls give the governing party around 42% support from the people who do. These people have been robbed of their tax dollars, billions of their money squandered on various useless projects, their freedoms curtailed by judicial dictators. Criminals and terrorists allowed into their country. No one is allowed to know who or where the criminals are because they have a “privacy act.” This makes me wonder -- are these 42% political masochists, who want more of the same? Does this mean you can rob them, lie to them, tax them and do anything to them and they still come back for more? In fact I believe their song is: “Tax me, rob me, any way you want to.” It is a strange and corrupted land and getting more weird by the day. Please come and pick me up soon, for I do believe I am losing my Alien’s common sense.
Yours Truly, An Alien’s Report #2.
Note: The first Alien’s Report can be seen at the Alien’s Website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo
Stephen Gray
Feb. 28, 2004
grays info@telus.net website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo
Some info on the Author: Stephen Gray is a writer and researcher on various topics. He published a news letter for 11 years exposing the misuse of trade union time and money.