By Stephen Gray
There was much commotion on the Political Animal Farm. The present leader of the animal farm government, Top Dog, had proposed a motion about re-visiting same-sex marriage and it was to be voted on by all the animals. Same-sex marriage amongst the animals had been “legal” for some time now, after a “right” was invented under the Barnyard Charter. Now the animals were all set to vote on the motion.
"That this Barnyard call on the animal government to introduce legislation to restore the traditional definition of marriage on the farm without affecting animal civil unions and while respecting existing same-sex marriages in the animal Barnyard"
First up to speak was The Jackass whose supporters were a minority on the Political Animal Farm. He had all his animal supporters whipped into line and they all brayed, barked, bellowed, shrieked, and hissed their support for animal same-sex marriages. “This was all about equality and tolerance,” brayed The Jackass, “Equality should never have to be voted on. This is a Barnyard Charter right.”
Next up was Dodo Bird, the new leader of a bunch of rats, reptiles, pigs, and snakes and other animals who had once ruled the political animal farm. He was also a supporter of the Barnyard Charter and he said: “Dis Barnyard Charter is sacred to all de animals and no way should it be undermined by voting against dis ‘right’ of de animals on de same sex marriage on de animal farm.” On hearing this his animal supporters burst into farmyard applause with much fluttering of wings, barks of delight from the dogs, grunts from the pigs, and shrill noises of joy from his female animal contingent.
Then it was Gilly the Foxy hound’s turn. He was the leader of another group of animals on the farm. He got up on his hind legs and stated his thoughts on this important farm matter. “We, as animals in this Block of animals that wish to separate from this political animal farm, wholeheartedly agree that animal same-sex marriages are a ‘right’ under the Barnyard Charter,” he stated importantly. “Furthermore,” he barked in doggy language, “I am pleased to know that our Block votes on this matter will stand after we have separated from the Political Animal Farm. As you know, this matter would never have passed the first time, if it had not been for the Block animals votes. Therefore, I hope all you animals will all say to us, “Merci Beaucoup for a job well done on this Political Animal Farm, which we will be leaving soon after the next referendum for a farm of our own.”
Finally Top Dog, the leader of the Political Animal Farm, got up to speak and said, “Thanks must go to all you animals of all political views and all shapes and sizes: the dogs, the cats, the snakes, the pigs and all the other animals who participated in animal democracy today. As you all know, I promised to bring this matter up to appease some of my supporters who I depend on for votes, to keep me as leader of the Political Animal Farm. Now I can say, promise made promise kept. Now we can move on; I’ve done my best. This motion was written to satisfy all the animals on the Political Animal Farm. There was something for everybody in it. Democracy has been done in here today. Nothing has changed as regards animal same-sex marriage, so we can all relax in the Barnyard, knowing we have done our duty to the Political Animal Farm and that this matter has now been put behind us. Did I make a pun, surely not?” Much noisy applause was heard from the assembled animals.
Then some of the animals got up on their hind legs, the birds fluttered their wings, the asses stomped approval, the pigs grunted, the cocks crowed, the jackasses brayed and the dogs barked, then they all got together and sang the Animal Farm National Anthem. The anthem was only two lines, sung over and over again. “Manure is perfume on the political Animal Farm. The Barnyard Charter makes things happen.”
Meanwhile, the owners of the Political Animal Farm, hearing all the noise and the stench of manure emanating from their property, started wondering if the time had come to shut the place down. The animals were out of control and pollution was rampant in the foul smelling barnyard. But, these animals were a protected species and therefore they would continue to pollute and foul the land until the owners rebelled and said, “Enough of this political animal farm B.S.”
Note: Any political resemblance to any farm animals alive or dead is only a coincidence. This is only a fairy tale.
Stephen Gray
December 7, 2006.
graysinfo@yahoo.ca website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo