By Stephen Gray
Dear Party Members:
We are going through a difficult time at the moment. There are allegations of money laundering, extortion, fraud, and kickbacks to the party. It has been said huge sums of taxpayers’ money were handed over to people for little or no work done. Therefore, I felt I had to write and tell you that in no way did the party know about any of these alleged matters. Nor did our former great leader either. We have been kept in the dark about the supposed dark forces and rogue elements within the party. I was in charge of finances when all this alleged malfeasance happened, so how could I know what was going on? I am completely ignorant and still am about all of this. Anyway as you know I called an inquiry into this matter and now the evidence coming out of the inquiry is tarring us all with the same brush. One of our stalwart party members has said I am the “wire brush” that will clean this matter up. And make no mistake I am wired to do this. The inquiry evidence makes it look as if there is criminal activity with taxpayers money. Still we have called in the police to investigate. They received some of the taxpayers money so they know where to start looking. I am sure we can trust the police to get to the bottom of it! Our party has always had high ethical standards and been politically principled. But, it appears somewhere along the way, a way was found to loot the treasury. Envelopes filled with taxpayers money were allegedly handed over in restaurants. Still, one should not jump to conclusions. Could it be possible these envelopes were only tips for services rendered and not kickbacks as alleged? After all, a good dinner always deserves a good remuneration! Also I am sure the money in the envelopes had already been taxed and declared to the Revenue Dept. Another alleged misuse of taxpayers money is that a large number of golf balls were initialed and charged to the taxpayers. If promoting golf is a crime then we have reached a new low in denigrating a worthy sport. Does this sound like a load of balls to you? In fact some of these balls were produced at the inquiry for all to see. Which proves we had nothing to hide and that the balls were not stolen albeit they were paid for by taxpayers’ money. I must say I am really disappointed in one party member - who has now given up on us; he is quoted as saying: “The… party is seen as looking on the public trust as a vulture looks on a dying calf….” I do not like that statement; it infers we feed off the taxpaying public, and that we are political vultures. Still, I will say this, the birds who are singing at the inquiry are stool pigeons and the party disassociates itself from them. Who are these people? Where did they come from? Does anybody know them? Who signed the cheques? What bank got the deposits? Where is ALL the money? Have the people of the country been robbed? Was it an inside job? Are their criminals in the government? Who is the: “Choo, choo man?” These are all questions needing answers. Still, for the sake of our political family and the country, we must soldier on. We have the “moral authority” to govern this nation and govern we will because no party can govern like we do. Still, there is talk that the Conservatives will bring forth a motion to bring us down. But, they would need the support of the Socialists to do that. I have hope that the Socialists will not support this Conservative motion. In fact the Socialist leader is quoted as saying: “I'd say it's rather unlikely that we'd be supporting a Conservative motion.” They are good people these Socialists remember they propped us up a number of years ago when we needed support. Our great leader then was the “Philosopher King” though some people called him, “Fuddle Duddle.” But I digress. Some cynical people are calling the Socialists our farm team. Others are saying they are our political relatives. So what! We welcome anyone who supports our family. We are a political family and families always stick together. I would remind you of that old saying: “ The family that PREYS together oops I mean prays together stays together.” Now let us go forward like con men; oops, I mean confident men. Be proud of who and what we are. Then when we are re-elected once again we can save the country one more time. Only next time there will be no inquiry you have my word on that.
Sincerely,
A. Proud Grit
Stephen Gray
April 17, 2005.
graysinfo@yahoo.ca website: http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo