By Stephen Gray
It was looking like another good year for the political family. We continued to move
forward in all directions. Our old boss had left us for more intellectual pastures.
Everything in the political garden was looking lovely. We had a new boss, not yet
approved by the people, but still a new boss. He had manufactured a peaceful coup and
the old boss was forced into retirement. They say a new broom sweeps clean. But I have
lost faith in that silly statement. We’ll need more than brooms to clean up this manure.
Political waste has hit the news and spoiled his takeover of the Land.
The new boss was hardly a short time in office when the excrement hit the building. It
was everywhere, people were up to their knees in it. There were not enough brooms to
clean it up. The political stables were in an uproar and the political animals were
squealing like pigs deprived of their feed. A report came down saying millions of dollars
had been misused and misappropriated. Some people said, “it was outright theft.” Some
in the political family were blaming others. Cynical people said: “This is what happens
when thieves fall out.” Calling “honourable people” thieves seems a bit much. After all
this is a caring and tolerant society. A land of peace, order and “good government.” So
please you people out there cool your rhetoric, otherwise we’ll have to take you before
the Human Rights Police and get you charged with a “hate crime” against an identifiable
group.
Really what is the problem? This had already been explained before. Do we have to keep
repeating ourselves? The old boss is on record as saying: “Perhaps there were a few
million dollars that might have been stolen in the process...” but at least it went to a
good cause. And he did say: “Start telling them that we’re honest.” That excuse should
be good enough for any patriotic tolerant taxpayer. I mean, even the police took some of
the money. So it must be okay. The only “sensible” comment about the $100-million was
a headline above one article asking: “Why all the Fuss? and comparing the report of the
misuse of the money to “...a drop in the bucket.” The guy who wrote this article is very
good. We need that kind of thoughtful analysis in government. Very well put, I’d say, its
almost like saying it was chump change only the taxpayers are the chumps. Still, what’s
all this fuss about a few dollars when we have already squandered billions? Where are
peoples’ priorities? One wonders, could there be a political vendetta being waged here
just because some people are friends of our political family? We have a Charter of Rights
and Freedoms and people should know that under the “equality” section, our family has
rights too. Hell we imposed this Charter and it can be used to say we are innocent even if
we are guilty. And make no mistake, if need be, we could perhaps get a judge to “read
in” our innocence. Anyway as usual we have ordered a public inquiry and his lordship
can take as long as he likes. He’ll send us the bill when he’s finished. Money is not and
never has been a problem with us. Talking about money, the new boss was in charge of
the land’s finances when public funds were misused. But he didn’t know!!! The cynics
as usual are saying: “Ignorance is bliss and ignorance is no excuse.” Excuse me, when
was it a crime to be ignorant? There is a bit of a family feud though, one section of the
family is blaming the other section. Whatever happened to family loyalty? If you can’t
say any good about a person why comment at all? All this rhetoric about getting to the
bottom of it, when we are already on top of it makes no sense.
I must say though, what really hurts about all this, is the way the media is behaving. Most
of them were our friends for years. Writing favourable storys’ about us. Now they are
attacking us like packs of starving animals. That’s the thanks you get for appointing one
of their own to the Senate. We never had much to fear from “investigative journalism”
before. Hell, the minute any new political family was a threat to us, the media destroyed
them, that’s why we have held power for so long. It just goes to show you cannot trust
most of the media. Now you would think it was them that had uncovered the missing
millions, instead of an intelligent accountant. So much for loyalty of the press. Still we
should be thankful they never used their heavy artillery words on us. Words like racist,
bigot, homophobe or vile, at least they save them for the political enemy. Oh well, I’m
sure the media will return to the stable when the election is called.
We will be calling an election when it is an appropriate time to call an election. Or to put
it transparently, when we think we can win. It all depends on the polls. At the right time
it will be all systems go. I have no doubt the people will put us back in power. They have
complete faith and trust in us. We will talk to them about issues that matter, “health care,
education, the environment” and all the other feel good words they like to hear. None of
this penny- ante stuff about missing millions will be in our repertoire. The people love
being punished by “democracy” and they always like to feel they have done their duty
when they vote for us. Then they get cooked and roasted by us once again. This is called
making a meal of the taxpayers or feeding at the political trough. Democracy is a
wonderful system. Where would we be without it? Anyway we can do no wrong in the
eastern part of the land, that is the place where the most seats are. The west can go to
hell, they don’t have the numbers. Money, politics it’s all about numbers. All in all, I am
confident it will be another victory for us. All will be forgiven and forgotten because this
is a land of “tolerance” and remember if the family stays together we can govern for ever
and ever.
Stephen Gray
Feb. 15, 2004.
graysinfo@telus,net website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo
Some info on the Author: Stephen Gray is a writer and researcher on various topics. He
published a newsletter for 11 years exposing the misuse of trade union time and money.