by Stephen Gray
The Political Geese were all a flutter in Gooseland. They had decided to settle their
differences and become one big Goose Family. At one time there had been Progressive
Geese, Reform Geese and Alliance Geese. The Reform Geese had wanted to make the
land more democratic but they had only been succesfully elected in the Western part of
the land. So the Reform Geese decided to change their name to Alliance Geese so that
there would be national appeal to all birds of a feather across the country. The
Progressive Birds - who were really the same as Liberal Birds - did not like the Reform
or Alliance Birds, but it was felt that the only way geese could have more power was to
be a family again. A plan was hatched to see if they could come together as a political
family into one big Goose Party. The Western Goose leader and the Progressive Goose
leader met and agreed, they should be one big political family and that they should all fly
together. This was approved by a majority of the birds.
They would call themselves Conservative Geese and there would be a leadership race.
How would this leadership race be organized? The Western Goose leader being a decent
and honest bird agreed to have a points system for geese voting for the leadership. Each
goose family riding would have 100 points. It did not matter how many geese voted or
how many were in each goose constitutency, points would take precedence. This meant
that the eastern geese would have a better chance to stuff the goose leadership race, for it
was said that there were some unscrupulous birds in eastern goose country. Indeed there
was evidence that this had been done before in this eastern part of the land. In fact one
media bird had even said there was an eastern goose “conspiracy.” Another media bird
reported that there was movement called ABWG “anyone but western goose” campaign.
The Progressive Geese and their powerful allies in the Geese
Establishment realised at last they could finally be rid of the Western Goose and all these
birds stood for. They also realised if they ran two eastern geese in the leadership race
they could not be beaten. The eastern geese were a more numerous population and one
media bird said; some might be “willing to be bought.” An eastern goose could be worth
more than a western goose and if you had two eastern geese they might show solidarity
when the time came for their goose supporters, to get behind one big eastern bird. This
points system of “voting” was the greatest thing ever to happen to an eastern goose. In
effect the Western Goose’s leadership challenge made him a cooked goose and he
helped cook himself by agreeing to the system.
There were three candidates for the leadership race. A Western Goose, a Mother Goose
from the East and another Eastern Goose called Tory Goose.
Mother Goose had lots of money and most of the important political birds had a place in
her nest. Other birds of indeterminate breeding - known as fixers and handlers - got
behind her. It was reported that Mother Goose was paying big bucks to these advisers.
She had support from liberal birds, tory birds and birds of all kinds of feather. There were
Liberal crows who said Mother Goose had a good chance and it was possible that some
were even working on her campaign. And why not. It was said Mother Goose had
connections to the Liberal family crows and the old saying: “Birds of a feather stick
together” would have been a good campaign slogan. Money was not a problem in Mother
Goose’s campaign and it was reported they were buying up every goose in sight. In fact
one media bird had written that in one part of the land, “the ridings will be won with
open chequebooks.” Another media bird reported that an eastern goose official had said,
one eastern province ‘is bought and paid for....’ And still another media bird stated that in
this same eastern province “backroom” tory birds had signed on to Mother Goose’s
campaign. This media bird also said that once before in this province in another
campaign, political fixers had been signing up birds in “homeless shelters.”
Tory Goose was expected to get some of the eastern goose vote. In fact some believed if
Mother Goose did not win, then Tory Goose would be the eventual Goose leader. Eastern
Geese had the race sown up. Western Goose was a goner and his wings clipped.
The Western Goose was a good and decent bird and had much to offer the country. But
he did not realise how powerful and devious was the eastern geese establishment. They
had been waiting for years to clip the wings of the western birds and now the way to do it
was handed to them on a platter. The points system of voting was a master stroke and it
was going to fly. This Western Goose was a cooked goose; only he didn’t know it yet.
Stephen Gray
Jan. 18, 2004.
graysinfo@telus.net website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo
Some info on the Author: Stephen Gray is a writer and researcher on various topics. He
published a newsletter for 11 years exposing the misuse of trade union time and money.