An Inquiry into The Heist By Stephen Gray The heist had been executed successfully. The family who looked after the peoples’ money had lost the peoples’ money. Nobody knew where it all was. It was the biggest cash transfer gone missing in years and nobody was in jail. It was an inside job par-excellence. Still, the people whose money had been taken had to be assured that even though millions of their  dollars were gone forever, something was being done to find all the takers.  So, give the people  hope even though their cause is hopeless.  An inquiry was instigated by the new boss of the family; he had been in charge of the finances when the money was handed over. He did not know who had been the handlers of the money. Some of the family had already taken the stand. They said they knew nothing. “I don’t know,” was the plaintive cry of those who had been there and in charge when the money went missing. It was all in a day’s work, but whose day? Nobody knew. Though one member of the family did agree with the judge that some of the money had been “camouflaged,” and yes it was a form of “money laundering.” But no charges have been laid against him, as yet.  They don’t charge family members, do they? The day came when it was time for the old boss of the family to testify. All the media were there waiting for the strangler to arrive. The old boss had gotten the name the strangler some years before when he had plunged into a crowd and grabbed a family critic in a chokehold. Ever since that incident some called him, “Old choke a bloke.”  He arrived with some of his faithful followers in tow. Watching them arrive was like seeing the arrival of the Wild Bunch from an old movie. They were dressed in black coats and swaggering into town, ready to take the town apart. This was a sophisticated gang ready to back up the old boss to the hilt, and they would take the inquiry apart and be firing golf balls instead of bullets. The old boss and his boys were ready for this guy who wanted to be a hanging judge. The old  boss of the family took the stand; he was a sight to behold, scowling, rolling his eyes and at times his usual incoherent self. Good strategy. If people don’t know what a person is saying how can they say that a person is lying? He said he had saved the country by covering part of it in flags, and if a few million dollars had been stolen, well the country had been saved. Some people wondered if that old saying, “ Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels,” applied here. Of course not, there were no scoundrels in this family!  Anyway the strangler sent everybody away laughing. Some of the media were choking with laughter and delight at their favorite family member. The only thing produced from his testimony was golf balls. Thinking people wondered whether this was an inquiry into missing money or a dissertation on golf balls? Still, the “goofball’s” show went over big with most of the liberal media and family members. One of the family members, Little Teddy who was the old boss’s confidant and sometime speech writer, was caught smiling like a little gargoyle on TV and looking like he was fit to burst with pride at the performance of his old boss.  A standing ovation was later given from many of the family for a job well done. One of the family even said it was a, “Whup ass performance.” The people who had been robbed of their hard earned money thought it was a performance from an ass and thought it was  themselves who had been whupped and taken for a ride from a bunch of asses. Next up was the new boss of the family. He was very gracious and started off babbling about the Mexican Peso, the Russian deficit, the Asian crisis, the money problems in Brazil and Argentina etc, etc.  Thinking people  wondered whether this was a report or an inquiry into the world financial crisis, other than the heist of millions of dollars of the peoples’ money in the land of the family. The new boss finally got around to answering a few question. “No,” he knew nothing. “No,” he did not know anything. “No,” he never met anybody. It was all no, no, no. Hey, how could he know? He was only in charge of the finances. Very strange indeed. Which raised the question: Would you want this guy as your accountant or running your business? His answers gave new meaning to the words personally bankrupt. Though the new boss did say, the people “…are entitled to have confidence in the good management of their money.”  Who would argue with that? Unfortunately, the people have no “confidence” in the “management” of this family. When did the people ever count in the eyes of the family? The people are only fundraisers for the family and their friends.  Now that the old boss and the new boss of the family had testified, what was next? If the heads of the family in charge of the money don’t know where it is, who does? What do the people do? Who signed the cheques? Where are the cancelled cheques? It is the peoples’ money that is missing. Should the cops be called in? But the cops got some of the money. Can they investigate themselves? There are many questions that need answers. Where are the police or does the family police itself? Perhaps the people need an outside police force to investigate the missing money, other than an inquiry into the Heist. Stephen Gray Feb. 14, 2005 graysinfo@yahoo.ca  website: http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo Stephen Gray is a writer and researcher on various topics. He published a newsletter for 11 years exposing the misuse of trade union time and money.