By Stephen Gray
The good ship Liberal Integrity was under new command. The Chief Officer or The
Mate had promoted himself to ship’s master. The old captain had refused to leave but
eventually did after a quiet mutiny. It was not called a mutiny as such. The old master
was quietly given an ultimatum, jump ship or be tossed overboard. So the old guy
jumped. This mutiny had been arranged by the Chief Officer of the ship. He had sailed
with the old captain for years. Now he was the new master. Loyalty was fine and dandy,
but power is where the action is and he felt it was his turn for the power.
The new captain had set course and was sailing along full steam ahead when disaster
struck. A storm of immense proportions blew up and was threatening to sink the ship.
Still the new skipper being an experienced seaman decided to ride out the storm and tried
to keep the ship on even keel. But the storm would not go away, in fact it was raging
harder day by day. The captain decided to head for port and docked in the city of Public
Inquiry. This was the only port left to him, and the saying, “any port in a storm” surely
applied here.
The ship had visited many ports of corruption over the years but had always managed to
sail through the turmoil unscathed. Now this latest gale threatened to sink the vessel. An
investigation into the ships crew claimed $100 million dollars of ships cargo was
missing. This money was a cargo belonging to people called taxpayers. The master and
crew of the good ship Liberal Integrity was blamed for this robbery and it was said the
money was transported to a place called Keebec. It was also said that this money had
been laundered. It was also inferred that there had been big political payoffs with the
money in Keebec. People were saying this Keebec is surely a favoured place.
The new captain said he knew nothing of any theft aboard the ship. But many people
said: “You sailed on this ship as Chief Officer for years, you were also in charge of the
ship’s financial cargoes, you must have seen or heard of the $100 million dollars.” The
new skipper replied: “No, no never” then he said: “I will get to the bottom of it. I assure
you I will get to the bottom of it” Then all the crew, the captain and the ship’s safety
officer, Annie, who had a high pitched scream of a voice - all started to sing: “We’ll get
to the bottom of it, because we’re on top of it. This is a lot of money and there’s
something funny. We have nothing to hide, this is a ship of pride.” Then the ship’s parrot
squawked, “Going On, Going On. There is something going on” This chorus and the
parrot sounded better than a performance of “The Pirates of Penzance.” Except the
audience never applauded.
Anyway, after this rousing chorus of a staged performance, the new captain told the
people: “We are not pirates, we would not plunder your taxes or the ship’s financial
merchandise. Why don’t you ask the old captain and his crew about this? Surely all you
people know the old captain is a man of integrity?” To which the people replied: “Sure,
sure, tell us more.” Anyway, someone asked the old captain about this matter and he said:
“I don’t think anymore.” This answer confused the people and they did not know what to
think either.
Then the new captain said: “Let me think, then I’ll know what to do, for I’m mad as hell
and sick, sick, sick.” To which the people replied: “We’re madder than hell and broke,
broke, broke. We struggle to pay our bills and this is no joke” Then the captain said:
“This is the land of Public Inquiry and you’ll all get an answer eventually. Now, let’s talk
healthcare, environment, education, diversity, new visions, new tomorrows, new
beginnings, new directions, new foundations and new democracy. For we are not corrupt.
Let’s talk about anything except the bloody money.”
But the money was on all the thinking peoples’ minds for they had recovered their
thoughts and realised $100 million was a lot of taxes to pay for transporting the ship’s
cargo to Keebec. Many people wondered if this was a modern day pirate ship. The
captain and his crew left the city of Public Inquiry and headed back out to sea and the
storm, better to leave angry people behind and brave the elements.
The ship was being battered daily by the hurricane and some of the crew were
contemplating jumping ship as there were not enough lifeboats to take them all. Others
were prepared to go down with the ship if need be. Even the rats were seen leaving.
Meanwhile the old captain, safely on the shore, had this to say. “Let’s go skiing, there is
lots of snow in Keebec at this time of the year.” The new captain still aboard the ship
was a sailor to the last. He was captain of his fate and now he wished he’d stayed The
Mate. Now he was all at sea and the storm might take him down with his good ship,
Liberal Integrity.
Stephen Gray
Feb. 19, 2004.
graysinfo@telus.net website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo