By Stephen Gray
Hello again from Loonie Land where the show never ends and the politicians rarely quit and some have one for the road.
I see the leader of a western province in Loonie Land was charged with drunk driving while on holiday. Reports had him as pie eyed. His police mug shot shows him with a vacant grin on his face. Oh well, at least he is a happy drunk. His caucus chairman is quoted in a national newspaper as saying: "His decision making ability was significantly impaired." Well, ain’t that the truth.
Some people are wondering about "his decision making ability" when his government is kicking seniors out of their old folks homes, raising every fee imaginable, while at the same time telling everyone they got a tax cut. It’s enough to drive you to drink.
Never mind, he says he is going to "restore" this part of Loonie Land. Now isn’t that a sober sounding word.
Meanwhile he got three standing ovations at a conference after returning to this part of Loonie Land. It makes one wonder, were all these people under the influence from his talk? Could one call the atmosphere at the convention breathtaking. Never mind he still has support. A story in a newspaper said a homeless man told him to "hang in there." I wonder if this is the same homeless man The Little Guy talks too? Do we have a political groupie wandering the country out there in Loonie Land?
In other news, one of The Little Guy’s, cabinet ministers was quoted in a national newspaper as saying this about Libloonie infighting: "It’s getting like a Third World democracy." Wow, finally a politician telling the truth. It seems there has been a fallout amongst the Libloonies over the leadership and now the Libloonies are doing to each other what they usually do to the people. I’m much too polite to say what that is but I’m sure you know.
Never mind The Little Guy is bringing in legislation to ban corporate and union donations to political parties. Sounds like a great idea doesn’t it, and automatically you think, politicians and political parties will have to raise their money voluntary. Which would be good. But no, The Little Guy is going to make the taxpayers fund all political parties. Where would he get an idea like that? Quite simple really, all the underworld families practice extortion; now politics is going to be one big political family supported by taxpayers. Could this be called political extortion?
I see the Socialists have a new leader. Somebody said welcome to oblivion. The new leader was quoted in a newspaper as saying he is "hungry to make changes..." Could this be called eating up socialism? Watching their convention was like seeing Animal Farm and 1984 come to life. Big Brother was there and so was Big Sister of the union politburo. It was a whose who of union bosses showing their support and helping finance this party with their members compulsory union dues.
It is an Orwellian concept peculiar to unions; compulsion is freedom. In fact one newspaper columnist said this about the party: "it is still effectively controlled by the brass of ... [Loonie Land] unions." He went on to say regarding the balloting system for party leader: "957 union bosses wound up with over 14,500 votes in their pockets ..." Now isn’t that democracy at work, no pun intended. I hope they were not billing the union for their expenses!! No, of course not, they would never do that, would they? But hey, this is "democracy" Loonie Land style. It’s called forcing union members to pay for socialists at play.
Did you see the large full page ad in two of Loonie Land’s biggest newspapers? It was addressed to the Libloonies. The ad was placed by the Chairman of a Securities firm listed on the country’s biggest stock exchange. Here is a quote from the ad, it said: Loonie Land "maintains the illusion of democracy..."
Finally somebody with a bit of clout has the courage to say what many of the people have known. This gentleman is to be congratulated. If only some of those other corporate chiefs would show some backbone. But hey, I forgot some of their companies get "grants" from the Libloonies and who would bite the hand that feeds them?
Now if only some of those Loonie Land lawyers would take out an ad about some of those Supreme Court judges and their hallucinatory decisions!! Somehow, I don’t think we should hold our breath on that happening.
In the western part of Loonie Land a judge had threatened to quit if she was not allowed to smoke in the building. The government built a smoking room for her. Could this be called judicial blackmail? Now she has offered to pay some of the costs for renovation. Everybody else has to smoke outside except her royal highness. This is puffing ridiculous!!!
A newspaper headline said, "Hells Angel ‘offended’ to be linked to terrorism." It seems an "item" was taken from a gang member at an airport. He is quoted as saying: "I am vehemently opposed to this terrorism stuff, as are all Hells Angels, and to be accused of it is very offensive to us." This sounds like discrimination against an identifiable group, perhaps even a case for the "human rights" or an offence against the person under the "Charter of Rights and Freedoms." In any case this being Loonie Land it would appear that his "rights" may have been violated. Loonie Land is a tolerant, diverse and non- judgemental society and this is an outrage.
I see a citizen of Loonie Land is an "al-Qaeda terrorist" an article in a national newspaper said he admitted to his "role in hunt for ‘White Meat.’" White meat was the terrorists code words for our good neighbours next door. Loonie Land allowed this guy into the country a few years ago. The article stated "he was involved in planning explosions at Western embassies, businesses and tourists resorts." Just think you could have been on holiday somewhere at a tourist resort when this guy was hunting "white meat." Don’t you think this word "tolerance" is becoming dangerous to all our health and safety?
On a happier note, a professor at a well known university in Loonie Land is translating the language of animals. He is listening to the moos, grunts and oinks of cows and pigs and other animals to find out what they are saying to each other. If he cracks this animal code and finds the animals are talking, the day could come when we could all be grunting, mooing and oinking to the animals in conversation and this perhaps could result in relationships being formed. This in turn could bring all kinds of new legislation into being, perhaps even an "animals and human rights commission." I know this sounds udderly ridiculous, oops I mean utterly, but just think of the possibilities animals in parliament. Cynical people are saying they are already there. Don’t laugh if we can have "same sex marriage" then anything is possible.
Remember this is Loonie Land.
Stephen Gray
graysinfo@telus.net
Website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo
February 2, 2003.
Some info on the Author: Stephen Gray is a writer and researcher on various topics. He published a newsletter for 11 years detailing the misuse of trade union time and money.