By Stephen Gray
The Ship of State weighed anchor and set sail on a new course in the year of 1982. This was the year a new map was drawn up that would lead the ship to the promised land. Before 1982, the ship, according to the captain at that time, had been in the doldrums and was drifting aimlessly under old directions that did not lead to a land of freedom, justice or equality. The new map was called, "The Charter" and it was said that by using it, a course could be charted to almost anywhere.
The present captain had helped to draw this map called "the Charter" and he boasted it was the best map ever made. The ship was manned by a political crew that had, over the years, along with various captains, managed to take the ship to many strange places in conjunction with "learned" lawyers who were called judges.
The passengers aboard came from all walks of life and occupations. Aboard the ship, there were clerics, doctors, accountants, corporate chiefs, union bosses, criminals, terrorists, abortionists, journalists, lunatics, radical feminists, perverts, children, cats, dogs and numerous other animals. Everything and everybody was represented, for the captain was a non-discriminatory and equal opportunity believer. It was said the idea for all being represented aboard ship had been copied from the story of Noah's Ark in the Bible. But all aboard were warned not to use that analogy because the bible was classed as "hate literature," and this was a non-discriminatory ship. The passengers had no say in the ship's destination. They were aboard for one thing only: to pay for the captain, the political crew and the "learned" lawyers called judges.
The ship had had a number of captains since 1982 and each one had succeeded in bringing the ship to various unsavoury ports of call. One port was remembered as Hallucinatory Point. This was the place where the "learned" lawyers aboard-- now called judges-- had had hallucinations and "read in" a course not written on the Charter map. This had created friction aboard ship and many passengers believed there was an outbreak of madness amongst the "learned." After all how could one read what was not written?
A new piece of land was discovered that was not on the map. There were some inhabitants of this nameless land and they exhibited behaviour different from what was perceived as normal. It was known this behaviour, if practised, could kill. Some of the land's inhabitants were already diseased and had even contaminated the blood supply of their own land. Aboard ship there was much discussion as to what to call this land. The captain deferred to some of the political crew and the "learned" judges who used to be lawyers. They said we will call it the land of Sexual Orientation and even though it is not on the map we will write it in. Some of the passengers who were thinkers, asked: "What does sexual orientation mean?" But no one could give them an answer for the words had never been defined and were only invented. Several of the inhabitants of Sexual Orientation Land came aboard the ship and asked if they could sail with it. "Of course," said the captain, "We are a ship of 'tolerance,' 'diversity' and 'equality' and all are welcome."
It was discovered that one of the perverts aboard ship had stories and drawings of children. He was taken in front of one of the "learned" judges who used to be a lawyer. The judge perused the pervert's work and exclaimed: "Oh, some of this work has 'artistic merit.'" The normal passengers aboard ship were outraged and said: "How can perversion be artistic?" But they were told they didn't understand the art on The Ship of State and that passengers on the ship had a duty to listen to those who knew better, because this was a ship of "freedom" and "_expression."
Some of the political crew had formed a committee to discuss child pornography. They had spent countless days and hours discussing this issue. Sane people aboard the Ship of State wondered why they were even discussing it at all, for only a sick mind could see any merit in it. But then again this was politics, and this political crew could make manure smell like perfume, making it appropriate that their meeting room was on the Poop Deck.
The political crew had also formed another committee to study dope. Some felt it should be allowed aboard the Ship of State as it would be okay in small amounts. This was to be called "simple possession" or dopes advocating dope.
Some of the criminals aboard ship claimed they were feeling discriminated against. It seems they were not allowed to vote for the politics of the political crew. They took their case to the "learned" judges who said they had a "moral" right to vote. This decision caused much controversy aboard the Ship of State, but only for a few days, then things settled down as "normal." The only people still upset were the sane passengers, for they would have to pay for the apparatus set up to allow the criminals to vote.
It had been a long voyage and some of the passengers, political crew and "learned" judges had started acting strange. Some men wanted to marry men and some of the women wanted to marry women. The captain was asked if he would marry them. But the captain said you must ask our learned friends who used to be lawyers, but now are judges. The judges said to the captain "We will give you and your political crew two years to get your ship in order so that these people of the same sex can marry each other."
The passengers aboard ship who were still sane, started asking questions: How could a man marry a man or a woman marry a woman? Also, if this situation was to grow aboard ship in the next two years, the Ship of State would have given new meaning to the word shipmates. The captain told those normal passengers there would be no discrimination aboard his ship and no mutiny either and said, "what the hell, we are all at sea." To placate these malcontents opposed to males marrying males and females marrying females he set up another committee of the political crew to study this important matter.
A question was raised by one of the passenger's who was still sane. She asked if children would be able to use the words father and mother if men could marry men and women could marry women. It was decided to put this question to a committee of the political crew, who came up with a speedy answer. Their solution was that the words mother and father would be banned from all spoken and written words. Childrens' parents would now be referred to as Mumdads and Dadmums and this would eliminate any confusion. This solution was taken to the "learned" judges who used to be lawyers and they gave their approval and praised the committee for their work on behalf of "equality," "tolerance" and "diversity."
Committees were springing up everywhere aboard the ship and the meeting room on the Poop Deck was always packed to overflowing. A cynical passenger was heard to remark: "Never has so much been done to so many by so few."
The ship had travelled a long way in over 20 years and was now grounded on the rocks of perversion, corruption and insanity. It was said these three rocks were always a danger and that a sane captain and an alert political crew would have steered a course away from these rocks. Unfortunately the map in their possession: "The Charter," had landed them on these rocks and the course had been charted by the captain, his political crew and the "learned" lawyers now called judges.
An SOS was sent out and the Ship of State was towed into port. It was leaking badly and spreading filth everywhere. The captain was taken ashore to a mental hospital babbling the words: "Save 'The Charter' map." Most of the political crew were sent to a home for the politically insane. The others were told their days as political sailors were over, because they had not done enough to save the ship. The "learned" lawyers who were now judges were told they would have to be approved in the future by the people who paid their salary, and that they would have to pass a sanity test. Some people said the judges should also be sent to a mental hospital. This, of course, could not be done for this would bring the judiciary into disrepute, and anyway who ever heard of insane judges? The passengers who were still normal were happy to disembark and said they would never sail in a ship in a state of disorder again. The Ship of State was broken up for it was beyond repair. The map called "The Charter" was declared a danger to a civilized and sane society, and it was destroyed; after all, this was the document that had caused The Ship of State to be steered onto the rocks of perversion, corruption and insanity.
Stephen Gray
March 2, 2003.
email graysinfo@telus.net website http://www.oocities.org/graysinfo
Some Info on the Author: Stephen Gray is a writer and researcher on various topics. He published a newsletter for 11 years detailing the misuse of trade union time and money.