© Copyright 1998-2002 by Grayson Morris.
Between my great-grandmothers' generation and my mother's, a lot changed. (First of all, birth control must have become widely available, because my grandparents were one-of-elevens, while my parents were one-of-two-or-threes.) A biggie was the way babies were fed. From ancient times up through my grandparents' babyhood, baby humans (just like all other baby mammals) were fed their mothers' milk, straight from mothers' mammaries. Then, suddenly, it was very chic to feed babies formula. My mother lamented this when I had my first child. When she was having her babies, she told me, it was very "lower class" to breastfeed - only people who couldn't afford formula or didn't have the sophistication to realize how passé breastfeeding was nursed their children. Neither she nor anyone in her circle of friends had any idea just what they were giving up in choosing not to breastfeed their children.
Since formula feeding is still largely the norm, let me tell you about the pros and cons of breastfeeding. That way, you won't suffer the fate of hip suburban mothers in the seventies - you will know just what you're choosing, and, be it breast or bottle, you'll have a better reason than "uh, you mean there's another way?"
Being the creature of comfort that I am, I love breastfeeding for its ease. I never had to leave my cozy bed in the middle of the night to heat up a bottle of formula (while a hungry baby became more and more insistent). I never had to mix up a bottle of formula, pack it in the diaper bag or backpack, pad it with ice, and calculate how many hours I could be out before it was too old to use. I never had to make an emergency run to the store because we miscalculated how much formula we had left, or forgot to get it on our last trip. I never had to wait (and make a hungry baby wait) while I heated up a bottle, or cooled one down that had gotten too warm. I never had to wash out a bottle at the last minute because we didn't get around to loading the dishwasher after dinner. (Hey, if you never have this problem, more power to you.) I never had to wish I'd brought more formula than I did, or wish I'd brought my own water to mix it with, because we were out longer than expected or we ended up at the park.
Breastfeeding is the consummate easy feeding option. I've never understood the line of reasoning that breastfeeding was too difficult, so the parents chose to give formula instead. Huh? What could be easier than mother's milk? It's always the pefect temperature, it's always with you no matter where you go, and you never run out. It's cheap, too. A breastfeeding mother will eat, on average, about 500 calories a day more than she would if not breastfeeding; that translates into at most a dollar or two a day, if you're getting those calories at a chic restaurant (pennies if you are cooking at home). In contrast, a formula-feeding mother will spend twelve dollars or more on a pound of formula (more if you need a non-milk based formula, or want ready-to-use instead of powder); baby will consume this much in about four days. That doesn't include the expense in bottles, nipples, and sterilizing equipment (if you think it's necessary).
Even formula manufacturers will tell you that breastmilk is the healthiest food for your infant. It stands to reason, whether you believe in evolution or in a Higher Power. Breastmilk is designed to meet the nutritional needs of baby humans; that's all it's designed for, and like most things with a single market which have been refined for millenia (if you believe Darwin) or which were created by a Supreme Being (if you don't), it excels in meeting its design goals.
My theory about nutrition is that, no matter how much we know about vitamins and minerals and cofactors and enzymes, we probably still don't know about everything in the food we eat that our bodies need to function well. That's why eating a varied, healthy diet is important, and why you can't survive on supplements alone. You might be taking everything known to man, but what are you missing?
Similarly, formula manufacturers are constantly refining their products to more closely match breastmilk. Formula is still not an exact replica of breastmilk, however. It seems, then, that a formula-fed baby is probably missing something present in breastmilk which is beneficial to him. (Besides which, how sensible is it to eat the substitute for something universally recognized as the best option, when that thing itself is readily available?)
Doctors, scientists, and formula makers are already aware of one thing present in breastmilk which gives it a tremendous advantage over formula: antibodies. Human milk contains antibodies to many illnesses, including any illness which the mother has contracted or for which she has been vaccinated. These antibodies protect the infant from those diseases during the months he is nursing. It's passive immunity - when the baby stops nursing, he no longer has protection from the disease, unless he has contracted it himself (or been vaccinated for it) and his body has produced its own antibodies. Nonetheless, it's bona fide immunity. (This makes breastfeeding an even more attractive option for parents who want to postpone or avoid infant vaccinations.)
Most formula is based on cow's milk or on soybeans, both of which are recognized as potent allergens. Some studies have shown a dramatic increase in allergic reactions to dairy products and soy products in children since the advent of mass formula feeding. Additionally, you'll be advised by your child's doctor to avoid giving him cow's milk until he is over one year of age; it seems contradictory to start him off as a newborn with a cow's-milk-based formula.
Another plus with breastfeeding is that it's already pre-mixed. There's no room for human error - you can't make it too weak, depriving your baby of needed calories, or too strong, making it difficult for your baby to digest. You don't run the risk of using equipment which harbors bacteria.
This is, for many new moms, the Big Con to nursing. Breastfeeding is an acquired skill. Sure, the equipment knows what to do - make milk - and the breastfeedee knows what to do - drink it. But few of us are born nursers. Let's face it: we are not skilled in the art of attaching a small mouth to our breasts, then holding it comfortably for up to 45 minutes while it drinks its fill. There are many sources of information, from books to La Leche League leaders, to help us learn a dazzling array of positions: the Football Hold, the Cradle Hold, the Lying Down, the One Arm Over Your Head (okay, I made that last one up). However much help you find, however, it's likely that you will feel awkward and clumsy at first, and you won't be at all sure that you are doing it right. But hey, that's normal! And if you can keep that in mind, you'll find that within a couple of weeks it seems pretty natural and straightforward after all. (And within a couple of months you'll be so good at it that people won't even know you're doing it unless they are staring straight at your breasts, in which case they get what they deserve.)
One thing I never read about in any of the books I devoured my first time around was normal nipple soreness. Oh, sure, I read about nipple soreness because the baby wasn't latched on properly, or soreness because of thrush, but I never heard anyone mention that attaching the human equivalent of a vacuum cleaner to your virgin nipples was going to make them sore. But it does, even if you are doing everything just right. (I even got blasted once in a Usenet newsgroup for mentioning this phenomenon - the responder claimed I was putting women off breastfeeding, as if they'd be more likely to stick it out through soreness if they got blindsided by it!) The good news is that this soreness lasts less than two weeks (and, truly, some women never get it; I did with #1, a voracious little sucker, but not #2, my dainty-sipper premie). And if you think about it, it only makes sense - after all, if you learn to play guitar, your fingers get sore until they develop callouses and get used to your playing. And if learning to make music is worth a week or two of sore fingers, then feeding your baby Le Wonder Food is surely worth a week or two of sore nipples.
The third big yuck about breastfeeding is the mess in the early weeks. Until your breasts get the hang of making the right amount of milk and letting it out when the baby wants it (and only then), they will leak at inconvenient times. This can be in the very beginning, because they are still not sure just how much the baby needs and so they make too much, and some just has to go, or it can be a few weeks later, when they've got the amount thing right but still haven't got the safety valve up to snuff. Any time your milk lets down - be it for baby's mouth or at the sound of some other woman's baby in the mall or even at some silly sappy TV movie - both breasts will leak milk.
The good news is that this is usually gone by the end of the first two to three months. Until then, you can use nursing pads (either disposable or washable, reusable cotton ones) inside your bra. It's a pain, but a minor one, thank goodness.
Breastfeeding helps mom, in the initial days after birth, by promoting the release of oxytocin, a hormone which stimulates contractions of the uterus. (Synthetic oxytocin, also known as Pitocin, is the chemical commonly used to encourage a tardy labor.) This helps to prevent post-partum hemorrhage, and to return the uterus to its pre-pregnant state. I've heard many times that breastfeeding also helps with returning to your pre-pregnancy figure and weight, but I've not personally found this to be true. My body seems to hang on to a few extra pounds until a couple of years after the birth no matter what I do. (Granted, mostly what I've done is eat chocolate and run after the baby, so I might not be a great test case.)
Other studies have documented higher levels of endorphins in mom's bloodstream while nursing, and other good-sounding things.
You will, of course, be madly in love with your baby even if you don't breastfeed (just witness the non-lactating parent). But breastfeeding is a lovely time with your baby. Your baby will appreciate your warmth, the shape of your nipple (not yet matched by any synthetic ones, alas), the taste of your milk, and the chance to wrap his tiny fist around the fingers of your free hand. Aside from nourishing your little one, you'll appreciate the power of breastfeeding to calm a fussy baby and soothe her minor frustrations.
Breastmilk is great for eye infections and diaper rash -- just squirt some onto the affected area. I also read this anecdote in a breastfeeding book: a traveler to some exotic country got the venom of some exotic snake in his eyes (I guess it was a spitting snake, huh?). A passing native woman witnessed his writhing agony and quickly squirted some of her breastmilk into his eyes, which neutralized the venom and saved his eyesight. It sounds too bizarre to be true, but I do remember the source as being reputable.
You might have decided that you'd like to breastfeed your baby. Great! But don't set it up as a test of your motherhood. While the overwhelming majority of women and babies can successfully breastfeed, some can't.
The word "can't" is, of course, relative. My definition is this: if you have breasts, and they make milk, and the baby can suck, then you can breastfeed. But for many women, the thought of breastfeeding is distasteful; they see their breasts as sexual objects and are uncomfortable with another context for them, or are concerned about what others will think, or are getting pressure from a partner or other family members not to nurse, or are intensely private and don't like the thought of nursing in public. These are all reasons a woman might choose not to nurse, but let's be straight about it: you can nurse, but you won't. That's just fine! It's your choice, after all. But don't shirk away from the truth; don't label it a disability when it's a choice. You're just saying no, and if that's a poweful thing to do with regard to drugs or premarital sex, why is it shameful with breastfeeding?
On the other hand, you might be one of the minority of women who truly cannot breastfeed. Some babies (though very very few) are allergic to breastmilk. A few women develop severe insomnia as a result of low estrogen levels while breastfeeding. Some women must take life-preserving medication which is not safe for a baby. Some women have had a double mastectomy or other surgery which no longer allows the breasts to make milk. If you are one of them, then accept the situation, and whatever you do, don't lay a guilt trip on yourself. Don't let anyone else do it to you, either. Let's be frank - there are overzealous Breastfeeders out there who will sneer at you in disdain when they see you feeding your baby from a bottle. (They even do this when they see a woman feeding her baby expressed breastmilk, because you know what? You can't tell what's in the bottle unless you get real close.) Who cares? These women, just like their sisters, the overzealous Bottlefeeders who sneer at nursing women, are small-minded bigots, and you really shouldn't give a whit what they think. That's good advice for any situation, in fact.
The choice to breastfeed is an intensely personal one. We are each a complex mixture of mental, emotional and physical characteristics which influence every choice we make, especially one so intimate. There is no shame in bottlefeeding; there is no shame in breastfeeding. The only shame comes in letting yourself be talked into or out of something by others with their own characteristics and own agendas.
The health benefits of breastfeeding are a plus for you and your child for however long you breastfeed, be that one day or three years. If you'd like to try breastfeeding but aren't sure if it will really work for you (for whatever reason), know that you can change your mind at any time, and your baby will have had the benefits of your immunities and so on for what time you were breastfeeding. (Unfortunately, it won't work quite as easily the other way around -- though many adoptive moms have successfully breastfed, so it isn't impossible!)
Read up on breastfeeding; read up on bottlefeeding; and make your best choice. (And remember that that mother you pass in the mall who made just the opposite choice also made the right one. Hey, it's kind of a Zen thing, you know?)
© Copyright 1998-2002 by Grayson Morris.