Mya's Blog


July 21, 2007

My chair and I have a love/hate relationship.I love my chair. It's beautiful to me, useful...

I hate my chair. And it's mostly my fault. They say everyone hates their first chair, for many reasons, but mostly because they are always wrong. My chair cost 3000$ Just 2.5 years ago and I need another one.

See, I was losing weight at the time and I thought I would keep losing. Unfortunately, I got worse and spent a lot of time in bed and ... Well, you know how the story goes. So, on a good day I'm 23lbs to heavy for it.

Then there were the people who knew more about these things than I did, who didn't make sure I got the kind of equipment I needed, despite my naive protestations. Honest, I would have listened. They asked me everything, like I knew how to take measurements for a chair. You'd be surprised how often this happens to outpatients.

My wheels are too small. With my upper body weakness, it wears me out, while it saves me energy.

I hate my chair.

The good news is, the next time, I know exactly how to order. Anybody saving up?

My rollator, I love. It is perfect. I avoided getting any kind of walker for a long time, because it felt like they were for old people. Fortunately, when I started getting major tremors, I didn't really have a choice. It's fortunate, because I am better served by the rollator than anything else I've ever had.

It also allows me to walk when I would normally have used the chair before.



July 20, 2007

I'm long past the point where I would be ashamed to buy blue pads in a line full of teenagers. I've been needing them so long it doesn't even phase me. No one even pays attention. When I was younger I used to chant "I could be buying them for my grandmother". The truth is, it's much more embarrasing to have your bladdar empty and not know it until you hear it hit the ground, or your shoes start squishing.

That's embarrassing.

I think about the people who fantasize about losing control of the bladdar, like it is an exquisite experience. I think they feel it is the final sign that something drastic is wrong with the body and since no one would want to lose that kind of control, it must mean that they have really 'arrived'. Now, I don't really empathize with this thinking, but I think I get it.

Trouble is, I can't see anything romantic about it. Can't find anything sexy about it.

I guess I'm writing about this now, because once again my bladdar control has flown the coop and I am low on protection. Recently, a doctor told me he could fix it and gave me some samples of a medication and a prescription for the same.

I was excited, because no other doctor had ever tried to solve the problem. It's a big problem, but they seemed totally disinterested. This one wanted to fix it.

Well, I took the medication home and read the package and never took one pill. Side effects are a bitch. Plus, I'm trying to get pregnant. Cathing is also painful. Some people never get the hang of it. I have a huge bladdar that never seems to empty all the way, so if I wasn't such a wuss, I'd probably be doing that.

With a capacity like mine, chain stores don't carry the most reliable brands. You have to order them from a catalog in a little dark room in the back of a wharehouse-like medical supply for rediculous prices. They arrive in big clunky boxes and they never last long enough.

Try schlumping around in a long tshirt and plastic utility briefs when you've got potty trained kids in the house. Or maybe they're not potty trained. It's hot down here. You wanna wear all your clothes in 100 degree heat?

That's an interesting conversation starter. "Hey, Ma, you wearing diapers? she's not a big girl like me!" Kinda confusing.

Nothing sexy about that. Well, maybe just a little bit sexy...

Anyway, today's news: I'm sick of pissing. I'm pissed.



Entry for July 19, 2007

Is it just me, or is the geocities web design program confusing?

I had a pretty interesting day. I work from home, so I have some
days when I just don't have much to do. Fortunately, today was not
one of those days.

The heat gets to me pretty quickly, so I try to avoid going out in
it. However, today I had to really get things done. I found myself
out in the middle of the day. It wasn't too hard, because I didn't
have to use my walker, which is most often necessary, but can be as
tiring as anything else to get it out of the trunk and ready to go.

I can't keep it in the car with me anymore, because I have other
riders. More later on that.

At any rate, my boring little life became a busy, boring little life
as I ran to the main office to copy, mail and fax loads of useless
paperwork.

Yeah... maybe it's just me.



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