H geocities.com /greek_jokes/UKnowURGreekWhen1.html geocities.com/greek_jokes/UKnowURGreekWhen1.html delayed x mJ . K OK text/html T' K b.H Tue, 03 Sep 2002 17:06:13 GMT Mozilla/4.5 (compatible; HTTrack 3.0x; Windows 98) en, * mJ K
You Know You're Greek When...#1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
1) You're 5'4, can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2) Your uncle owns a restaurant, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3) You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
4) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5) You have a relative that has done something that required the IRS to threaten him. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
6) Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7) You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 dance clubs. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
8) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just Do Me" tank top to Wasaga. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
9) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10) All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11) A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of professor among your aunts. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
12) You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13) If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9, it is presumed his mother had an affair. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
14) There are more than 28 people in your bridal party. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
15) You netted more than $50,000 on your baptism. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
16) At some point in your life, you waited tables. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
17) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Embros" when answering the phone. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
18) You are an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's Eve. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
19) Upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "what church do you go to?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
20) Your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for every ailment under the sun. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
21) You can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
22) Your mother or father still feel the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
23) You have been hit with a pandofla or a koutala or a lourithi. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
24) You can dance the kalamatiano, tsamiko or zebekiko without music. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
25) You or a family member have been photographed with a donkey. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
26) You must name your children after your parents, grandparents, or in-laws. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
27) You have at least 5 Maria's, 9 Dimitri's, 5 Niko's, 6 George's and 4 Yanni's in the family. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
28) You have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
29) Your parents have ever made up the name of a street or store or tv show because they couldn't remember it or pronounce it. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
30) Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
31) You have ever been threatened by a Greek School Teacher. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
32) You still get threatened by a Greek School Teacher even though you're 30 yrs old. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
33) You have been spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
34) You have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
35) You know what a "komboloi" is. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
36) You know how to work a "komboloi". | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
37) When you were younger and going on car trips you always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or back seat. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
38) You were ever threatened to be eaten by the mavro pontiki when you were little. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
39) Someone in your family owns or works in any type of restaurant. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
40) You are surprised to learn that the local pet store does not sell goats. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
41) You can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the "McFeta" Burger. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
42) Your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
43) You eat Vanilla with a spoon from the jar. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
44) You have at least 2 kitchens in your house and a lamb roaster in your backyard. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
45) Your parents keep the unclaimed $$$$$ in old moth ball smelling coat pockets. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
46) At Weddings the karta (card) is determined on the amount of food, the type of band, if the couple is Greek and whether you are convinced the marriage will last. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
47) You make up your own Greco-American language :For e.g. Carro (car), Moovare (move), Wassemassini (washing machine), bassi (bus). | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
48) You can always go to yiayia or papou to curse out your parents and all they do is soothe you and feed you karpouzi. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
49) You have been given the evil eye by your mother in public and/or the biting of the forefinger knuckle. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
50) You were the first one to get cable on your block, but the last to have it legally. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
51) You dread kissing everyone at family gatherings, because you wind up smelling like armpits at the end of the night. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
52) You've been embarrassed by Mom or Dad in stores because they expect the Greek discount and ask to waive the tax if they pay in cash. |