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| YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREEK WHEN #2 | |||||||||||||||
| 1. Half the population of your country of origin is somehow related to you. | |||||||||||||||
| 2. Even if you are not married you already have more than 10 koumbarous. | |||||||||||||||
| 3. Your plumber, electrician, housepainter, mechanic and travel agent are all related. | |||||||||||||||
| 4. When visiting a fellow Greek family you always turn up fashionably late; for instance, if they invite you for lunch at 1:00pm, you turn up three hours late and expect the food to still be warm and untouched as they patiently await your arrival. | |||||||||||||||
| 5. When you do finally turn up, you notice that although they were only expecting three or four guests, they prepared enough food to feed a small, third-world country! | |||||||||||||||
| 6. When visiting your yiayia or nouna, she forces you to eat everything in sight, including the kleftiko, sheftalies, keftedes, salad, potatoes, calamari and even the zaladina whether you like it or not. Although you resist, she continuously yells: "Fae! Fae! Fae jallon!" After she feeds you so much that you can hardly breathe and you feel as fat as an elephant, she looks at you and comments "Ah Panayia mou, intalois eyinikes etsi? Stamata na trois kapalin, mana mou, tha epashines polla!!" | |||||||||||||||
| 7. Whenever you visit a fellow Greek family and finally decide to leave (usually very late because they don't let you leave before 11:00pm), they continuously talk to you on the way to the front door, and spend an hour talking to you on the front porch. They then continue talking to you as you walk towards your car and after you get in, they make you wind the window down so they can talk to you in the street for another hour until you finally drive off. | |||||||||||||||
| 8. You forbid your wife to wear a mini-skirt, but you love looking at other women's legs. | |||||||||||||||
| 9. If your neighbour buys a better Mercedes than the one you have, you either go shopping for a new car, or you move out of the neighboorhood. | |||||||||||||||
| 10. At least 3 of your cousins live within walking distance from your home. | |||||||||||||||
| 11. All 3 of those cousins are named after your grandfather/grandmother. | |||||||||||||||
| 12. Your best friend and your worst enemy are both your cousins or related to you in someway. | |||||||||||||||
| 13. You are allowed to marry your third cousin, even if this means that your great-grandfather will have to call his own sister "symbethera." | |||||||||||||||
| 14. Your dad condemns you for eating cereal for breakfast and warns you that you should try eating more healthy food at the start of the day, such as 4 eggs, 5 slices of halloumi, and at last half a dozen louganika, all fried in a deep pan with a good dollop of re-used, one week old olive oil. | |||||||||||||||
| 15. You mom reacts to every situation by covering her mouth and yelling out her favorite phrase at the top of her lungs "Ouuuuuu Stravaaaaaaaaaaaara mou!" | |||||||||||||||
| 16. Someone in your family has to say the following phrase at least once a week: "Lambron na se kapsi!" | |||||||||||||||
| 17. You're nearly 6 feet tall, can bench press 325lbs, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you. | |||||||||||||||
| 18. You carry your lunch in a large K-mart bag because you cant fit eight sheftalies, 5 keftedes, 2 ham sandwichs, 4 oranges, 2 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab in a standard paper bag. | |||||||||||||||
| 19. Your faher owns 3 houses, has £300,000 in the bank, but still wears clothes that went out of fashion 30 years ago. | |||||||||||||||
| 20. Your mother owns the same 3 houses, has £300,000 in the bank, but insists that she is still entitled to the pension. | |||||||||||||||
| 21. More than 25 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Khallo?" when answering the phone. | |||||||||||||||
| 22. You are not materialistic but you believe that a £500 wedding present is nothing. | |||||||||||||||
| 23. Your brother went on vacation to Greece and loved it so much that he wanted to stay. He finally decided to return because he is too chicken to join the army, which is compulsary for all male permanant residents. | |||||||||||||||
| 24. When your brother came back from Ayia Napa he showed you 5 films he wasted on taking photos of naked swedish women bathing on the beach. | |||||||||||||||
| 25. Also if you have absolutely no idea of the concept - to stand in line. Not to mention the concept of a six-lane highway, or city roads without holes. | |||||||||||||||