In Hindsight
Author: Fuujin Kishukaze
Rating: Pg-13
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Author's Note: Well, this is the result of seeing the movie on opening day and having the Green Goblin as one of your favorite Spiderman comic villains. Anyway, this is movie based, and don't shoot me if it's not exactly correct. It's not like I could rewind the scene a billion times to get the scene verbatim. Besides, Osborn demanded I write this... and he didn't fee like giving me a whole lot of planning time. ::grins:: Enjoy and for Godsakes review. I'm tired of writing things only to feel like they're ignored cause no one reviews.

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I remember now how it all started. How afraid I was, as I explained to my colleague that this needed to be done to save Oscorp before I downed the catalyst. I smashed the vial shortly there after, partly to calm my shaking hands and partly to affirm that this was the choice I was making. That there was no turning back. That I was ready to accept the risk I had told the man standing before me that science was all about. And with that in mind, my heart fluttering like a trapped bird beneath my ribcage, I stepped up to the performance enhancer's test chamber and allowed myself to be strapped in.

For what seemed like an eternity, I laid there, wondering if this was how Doctor Jekyll felt right before testing his life's work on himself. I didn't pursue that train of thought for long, though. I didn't want to jinx myself - no Mister Hyde was going to walk out if the experiment, I was sure of it. But for some reason, all my reassurances didn't calm my heart. Especially not as the green mists that signal the start of the process started creeping into the chamber.

I'm fine for the first few seconds, and then suddenly pain is ripping through me. Tearing at my calves, my upper arms, my chest... The pain cutting me deeply... making it hard to breathe. And in fact, as I went to take a lungful of air to clear my swimming head, I found that I couldn't. It was as though whatever I'd done to myself had filled my chest with cement, and it then that I started struggling. For a few, valuable seconds, I struggled with the restraints only to find that I couldn't get free. I still had a chance though - the gases were clearing out of the room. My assistant had saved me... he had realized something was wrong. I was saved.

But I was wrong, so incredibly wrong... because that's when the voices started.

First it's only one, a distant and deep voice, calling my name frantically as though my life was slipping away from me. And maybe it was, because I still wasn't breathing... but I didn't actually have time to consider it, because before I could another voice broke into my mind. -His- voice. The Green Goblin, as he was called later in the papers. There he was, first a whisper I could barely hear... growing increasingly louder.

* Let me out, Osborn. Let me out to snap that little fuck's neck. He told you that your performance enhancers wouldn't work... let me flex our new muscles and take care of him. I promise you won't remember in the morning. In the morning everything will be alright. Let me out, Osborn. *

And I did. And he was right. I didn't remember what happened the next morning. I hardly remember when he fought Spiderman for the first time... Or when he tried to tempt the wallcrawler into joining us. Or when killed the board members. Or when he put two and two together at Parker's Thanksgiving dinner and stormed out.

Or when he -

No... No. There is no he, is there? It's only me. -I'm- the monster here. I'm the one that almost killed Peter, and his Aunt May, and my own son. I'm the bad guy. It's all my fault. But it's over now.

The glider I stole from the labs is piercing my lungs, allowing blood to seep into them, slowly drowning me with each heartbeat. I guess it's for the best, though. It's almost funny. I did jinx myself... I did turn myself into the proverbial Mister Hyde... But it's going to be alright... I can't hurt anyone anymore. I don't have to worry about the insanity I caused in my attempt to save my company to come and claim me again. And as death provides me with my few fleeting moments of clarity, I stare up at Peter with tears in my eyes.

I can't let my son live knowing his father was a maniac.

"Peter, don't tell Harry..."

And somehow, I know he won't.