Mothers
& More in the news....
Mothers'
ingenuity prevented Isabel from canceling conference
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
By
Patricia Harrison
When
Hurricane Isabel ravaged the East Coast last month, it scored a
direct hit on Charleston not geographically but logistically.
In addition to the scores of tourists who called off their visits,
a number of conventions and conferences were canceled when the hurricane
threatened to strike the Southeast.
Few people could have been as disappointed as the 160 mothers from
more than 20 states who had planned to attend the national conference
of Mothers & More, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting
mothers in their roles as parents and individuals. But the ingenuity,
flexibility and resourcefulness that characterized the conference
volunteers' response to the cancellation would have made their own
mothers proud.
The
original conference plans included three days of workshops, lectures
and discussions, all designed to support women in their personal
and professional growth. For many women, however, the conference
also represented a much-needed break from their families: a chance
to relax, sleep in and enjoy meals they didn't have to cook.
But
the week before the conference, Isabel began gathering strength
in the Atlantic Ocean and appeared to be heading for Charleston.
Speakers and workshop leaders began to cancel their engagements.
Four days before the conference was to begin, Illinois-based Mothers
& More decided to cancel the conference entirely, primarily
because most of the speakers and attendees were from the East Coast
and in the projected path of the hurricane. As conference co-chair
Lori Collins explained, "We didn't want to put people in the
position of having to decide whether they could leave their families."
The
cancellation was a great disappointment to the dozens of Charleston
volunteers who had planned the conference for months. Deborah Otap,
the other conference co-chair, remarked ruefully that "we spent
one year putting it together, one day tearing it apart."
When
it became apparent that Isabel was heading north, Collins and Otap
rallied their troops and offered a "weekend getaway" for
all mothers who could still come to Charleston. In just two days,
working around the clock, they prepared a whole new program. In
the end, approximately 60 people from 15 states managed to attend.
As
a conference attendee, I knew little about the behind-the-scenes
work that had taken place. Instead what I saw was a well-organized
"mini-conference" that maximized the resources still available
to offer a range of workshops, lectures and discussions on topics
of interest to both new and seasoned moms. In addition, the organizers
had set up local tours and even a scavenger hunt that led participants
through the historic city.
The
co-chairs chose to see new opportunities in the changed plans. "At
first we were sad when we realized we weren't going to have the
impact that we wanted," Collins said. "But since the conference
ended up being more intimate, participants actually got to know
each other a lot better."
The
organization's executive director Joanne Brundage pointed out that
just gathering together such a diverse group was inspiring: "When
people are coming from so many different states, you get the sense
that it's not just a local cause but a purpose shared across the
country."
Despite
its revised status as a "weekend getaway," the conference
reflected a seriousness of purpose in participants' conversations.
Mothers & More is comprised of women who have "sequenced"
their careers in order to care for children, moving between paid,
unpaid and part-time job opportunities at various times to respond
to the needs of their families. Most members are well educated;
many have left professional jobs or downsized their careers.
Thus
mothers at the conference discussed issues such as forging a sense
of identity separate from that of "mom," maintaining professional
skills and making the transition back into the paid work force.
Other
workshops focused on advocacy: how to encourage the development
of family-friendly policies in government and the workplace. Mothers
who sequence their careers often sacrifice higher salaries and receive
fewer opportunities for career advancement; they receive no Social
Security credit for their years of caregiving. If our society truly
values families and children, we need better policies for the caregivers.
Overall,
the way in which the Mothers & More conference was reorganized
reflects the nature of its members. Sequencing women are experienced
at adapting, changing or revising their plans to accommodate their
circumstances.
Hurricanes
hardly ever happen. But mothers reap the consequences of public
policy decisions in their daily lives. Mothers should be rewarded,
not punished, for the choices they make for their families.
Dr.
Patricia Marby Harrison is a freelance writer and editor who lives
in Easley (and Greenville Mothers & More member).
More
details
For information on the local chapter of Mothers & More, call
233-5646 or email greenvillemothersandmore@yahoo.com
*****************
New
group will help moms adjust to stay-at-home role
Posted Monday, May 5, 2003 - 2:28 am
By
Kathy Spencer-Mention
STAFF WRITER
kmention@greenvillenews.com
Lisa
Colby made a tough decision when she and her husband, Erik Anderson,
moved from Providence, R.I., to Greenville in 2001. She chose not
to seek outside employment so she could stay home with their son,
Owen, who's now 2. It was a decision Colby didn't take lightly.
But what she thought might provide a sense of calm evoked a hailstorm
of emotions.
"You
feel a little bit of a sense of failure, like you're letting someone
down," the 34-year-old mom said. "I have a lot of conflicting
feelings.
"When
I have a bad day, I feel guilty for even complaining because I feel
so fortunate that I am one of the few women that can actually stay
home full time; I can afford that luxury."
Now
she hopes to encourage others who are dealing with the complexities
of motherhood through a group for "sequencing" moms, women
who alter their career paths to stay home with children.
Together
she and Sarah Hunt-Barron, 31, another newcomer to Greenville, are
working to start a local chapter of Mothers & More, a national
nonprofit organization that works to improve the lives of mothers
through support, education and advocacy.
The
group's first meeting will be held at 7 p.m. May 12 at St. James
Episcopal Church. Nilly Barr, a licensed professional counselor,
will speak on "Caring for Yourself While You're Caring for
Everyone Else."
In
the not-so-distant past, mothers found needed support and encouragement
while tending wounded knees at parks, blotting spaghetti sauce off
T-shirts at PTA dinners, and cheering in the stands at ballgames.
Helpful advice was only a whisper away in extended family, neighbors
and friends.
But
communities are more complex today and families more transient,
said Barr, of Greenville. And the need for organized support groups
for moms is great.
U.S.
Census reports show that between 1999 and 2000, fewer mothers returned
to work in the first year of their child's life. That number was
down to 55 percent from 59 percent in 1998.
Nicole
Mathis of Greer said it took her nearly four years to come to terms
with her decision to be a stay-at-home mom. At the time she quit
work, she didn't have family nearby and didn't join a support group.
"After
three or four years there was no more resentment, no more secretly
wishing that I could go back to work full time and that kind of
thing," Mathis said.
During
her career, Mathis had worked as a designer for a children's wear
company in Philadelphia and for a golf apparel company in California.
"After
I had the third child, I knew for me and what kind of family unit
my husband and I wanted, and what kind of mother I wanted to be,
I couldn't do both," said Mathis, 39.
Ultimately,
she found balance in caring for her children and starting her own
at-home design business, Nor-De-Tre.
Barr
said historically women have been viewed as the glue in families.
"And over time our needs have been at the bottom of the list.
And one of the things that we are getting more in touch with is
the fact that if the glue is not able to tend to its needs, then
society suffers, the family suffers, the community suffers,"
she said.
Moreover
in today's society, many working mothers are having to make those
really tough child-rearing decisions, deal with weighty issues,
in the absence of the strong support networks of old, Barr said.
Organized
support groups are helping women feel good about their decisions,
easing the transition and providing quick access to other women,
Hunt-Barron said.
Mother
of a toddler and infant, Hunt-Barron designs Web pages for Muhlenburg
College in Allentown, Pa., from her home in Greenville. She gave
up a full-time position as assistant to the president at the college
after her first child was born.
Yet
she had slipped in and out of several full-time positions before
comfortably setting on a part-time job.
It
just seemed to make sense, said Hunt-Barron, who moved from Allentown
to Greenville last year when her husband took a job at Furman University.
Her 2-year-old, Henry, spends a few days a week at day care while
she cares for 6-week-old Elliot and works on upgrades for the Pennsylvania
college's Web site.
Her
own experiences in trying to find a support network prompted her
to work together with Colby to start the local chapter of Mothers
& More.
The
average Mothers & More member is 34, with two children and a
college degree. Most of the mothers have left a full-time job to
be home with children, according to information on the group's national
Web site. Another 9 percent reduced their workload to part time
with more than 50 percent altering their career path before the
birth of their first child.
"For
my generation of women of a certain level of education, this was
not what you were told you were going to do," Colby said. "I
was going to revolutionize the world. I was going to be in that
corporate board room, a lawyer, a doctor, a professional woman making
a lot of money."
But
having a child changed her, she said.
"For
a while, I thought I was going to go and find part-time work until
I went on a couple of interviews and realized something about having
a child changed me. I don't think I could work for anyone anymore,"
Colby said. "I work for my son."
Support
groups like Mothers & More, Colby said, also teach women "how
to manage the highs and lows" of that child-rearing decision.
"The
general idea," Colby said, "is to make new friendships.
There is a sort of an affinity that develops where you feel like
you've found the right group, the right match of people."
The
new group will plan outings, speakers, play groups, book clubs and
other activities for members.
Colby
and Hunt-Barron heard about Mothers & More from Patricia Harrison
of Easley, who had joined the national group to connect with other
sequencing mothers.
"Just
to read the newsletter, and to know that there are other intelligent,
like-minded women out there who haven't sold themselves short ...
was really encouraging," Harrison said.
A mother
of one, the 34-year-old Harrison left a non-tenured university professorship
because part-time positions were not available. "It was frustrating.
It would be a huge cut in pay for an enormous number of hours. It
just wasn't worth it."
Since
then, Harrison has volunteered in the community and done freelance
work.
"I
do feel like it makes the most sense for our family. It means that
things are a little less crazy than if we had both been working
full time." But coming to terms with the decision "was
quite a struggle," Harrison said.
Barr
understands.
After
becoming a mom, she chose to work part time as a licensed professional
counselor. "There have been times when I've looked at it and
I've thought, 'Well, my career could be a lot more ahead of where
it is if I had not made that choice,'" she said.
"It's
not a one-point decision," she said. "I've had to re-decide
that in my career. But every time, I've come to the same decision
being the right one for me."
View with photos at : http://greenvilleonline.com/news/2003/05/05/200305055856.htm
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Press
Releases...
Mothers
& More Chapter starts in Greenville!
FOR
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT
Lisa Colby, Co-Leader, Greenville Chapter of Mothers & More
864-233-5646
Mothers
& More Celebrates Mother's Day By Welcoming Newest Chapter
In Greenville
Greenville,
SC -- April 23, 2003 -- Greenville moms can give themselves a
Mother's Day gift this year: year-long support, respect, intellectual
stimulation and friendship. A local chapter of Mothers & More
is starting up in Greenville, with its first meeting on Monday,
May 12 at 7 pm at St. James Episcopal Church in Greenville. Speaker
Nilly Barr, a licensed professional counselor, will address the
topic of "Caring for Yourself While Caring for Everyone Else."
"Flowers
and candy are nice, but mothers need more than one day of support
and recognition a year," says Lisa Colby, co-leader of the
Greenville Chapter of Mothers & More, a national non-profit
organization dedicated to improving the lives of mothers through
support, education and advocacy. "The Greenville chapter
will offer evening meetings without children, focused on topical
discussions relating to mothers' lives as women, parents and individuals,
as well as such activities as Moms' Nights Out, playgroups, family
events and more." The Greenville Chapter is also participating
in the National Mother's Day Campaign, "Making Mothers Count,"
which seeks to make mothers' unpaid caregiving work visible to
the world as a vital contribution to our society.
The
Greenville chapter is extending an invitation to all mothers this
Mother's Day to join Mothers & More, an international not-for-profit
organization supporting sequencing women -- mothers who have altered
their career paths to care for their children at home. Mothers
& More provides a chance for these women to establish friendships
by meeting other sequencing mothers. Mothers & More offers
members national and local benefits. National benefits include
a nationwide chapter network, unique publications, online services,
conferences, leadership opportunities and more.
Mothers
& More has been addressing women's personal needs and interests
during their active parenting years since 1987. With more than
175 chapters and nearly 8000 members, the organization advocates
for public and employment policies that accommodate sequencing.
The
first meeting of the new Greenville Chapter will be held on May
12, 7:00-8:30 pm at St. James Episcopal Church, 301 Piney Mountain
Road, Greenville. Visitors are welcome to attend and are under
no obligation to join.
ADDITIONAL
CONTACT INFORMATION
Greenville Chapter Co-leader Lisa Colby
864-233-5646
www.oocities.org/greenvillemothersandmore
Mothers
& More National Headquarters
P.O. Box 31, Elmhurst, IL 60126
630-941-3553
www.mothersandmore.org
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