The Howard Beale Center


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Donegal's ex-TD, Thomas Gildea He thinks it's all over!
It isn't...................!
It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings

Watch this space!
(You didn't think we'd forgotten, did you?)

It's really kind of sad.....
Exclusive to Mad-as-Hell.Com, by Abigail Pope
We at Mad-as-Hell.Com, rarely have any sympathy with those who drink and drive, as regular readers know well; even when those concerned aren't necessarily over the legal limit. Generally, we'd have even less sympathy for such drivers if they're members of the Garda Siochana (the Irish police farce), and less again if they've previously been in a serious accident, resulting in a loss of limb. But, in the case of Garda David Charlton, husband of Mary 'the babe' Coughlan, Ireland's Minister for Social Welfare, we're going to make a rare exception.
Spotting him taking a couple of jars before driving to his local supermarket for a couple of bottles of wine and some groceries, presumably in preparation for a night alone, while his wife was hard at work in Dublin, attending to her political duties, was more than enough to melt the heart of your humble co-columnist.
You'd think on that big salary, she'd employ a housekeeper to look after his needs while she's away..

Be afraid....... be very afraid
One of the regular advertisments that appear in the local Donegal press, for cures for anything from angina, asthma, internal bleeding and deppression. They claim to be able to stop bleeding, or remove particles from your eyes, by you just making a phone call. As you can see, they also claim good results.... on sheep.
On a lighter note, Mad-as-Hell.Com has learned that it's localy believed that at least two public health nurses in Donegal are involved in similar activities...

A slap in the face
For those of you interested in the 'punch in the face' article, in our last edition, where we told you about a 6 year old girl being verbaly abused, and her father being threatened with a punch in the face by her school bus driver, get a load of this...
"We won't be apologising .... if you want an apology, take it up with the driver yourself" .... "We won't be sacking or disciplining the driver in any way"
Sligo Area Manager, Bus Eireann, via telephone.

"If a Hair on the Head of one Iraqi Child is Harmed - Bush and Blair Must Be Indicted for crimes against humanity"
Donegal Times See for full text
That's what the Donegal's 'community newspaper' and mutual masturbation aid for Donegal Town area businesses and personalities, the Donegal Times, said about the war on Iraq on its front page, recently.
You'd think they'd have more sense, what with Donegal Town in serious economic decline at the moment, with shop after shop, closing, one local factory already forced to lay off staff and the other major (US owned) factory, by no means safe, due to it being said by some to have threatened to close if its workforce didn't stop complaining about the 30% difference in pay between it and its sister factory, in Sligo. Are they really so arrogant that they can afford to risk upsetting one of their main economic neccesities; the American tourist? Donegal's association with terrorists has long been embarrassment enough, without further risking one of our main economic mainstays.
Editors note: Whatever you do, don't mention the serial killer suspicions

Dana insults her supporters
Donegal's member of the European Parliament, Catholic fundamentalist fanatic, Dana, has got her knickers in a knot again. This time, she's annoyed about what Ocean FM, the consortium attempting to take over the local radio franchise for Donegal, Sligo and Leitrim, from the dire North West Radio, had to say about their listeners. Ocean had described NWR listeners as "old, lacking aspiration, conservative, retired, unemployed, and coming from a lower social class". Cunningly leaving Donegal out of her statement, she said, that the comments in relation to the people who listen to North West Radio was "arrogance in the extreme and a major insult to many people in Sligo and Leitrim."
What we at Mad-as-Hell.Com would like to know is, why is she insulting the very people who elected her as their MEP? What's wrong with being old, lacking aspiration, conservative, retired, unemployed, and coming from a lower social class?
You couldn't make this up
Ireland's Freedom of Information Act is under attack from the government, which intends to limit its scope, and dramatically raise the the cost of access to what remains of publicly available information.
What are they trying to hide?
Perhaps things like the 60 euro a day, Bertie Ahern, our Prime Minister spends on make up, which was exposed by an FOI request.

Hear the one.....
......About the drunken Donegal vandal who broke into premises, but after doing the business, couldn't find their way out, and telephoned the gardai for help?
.....Or the Donegal garda's son who got caught on camera with a stolen car?
.....Or the one about the Donegal politician, allegedly stabbed by one of his 'stray boys' in a Savident type incident?
Didn't think so, and you probably won't.

Devine intervention
The peace and tranquility of Dunfanaghy, County Donegal, a popular holiday destination, has been shattered after an angry Catholic businessman, claimed the town had been invaded by Northern Irish protestants.
Publican Daniel Devine was so pissed at this invasion, that he painted a Union Jack accross the front of his pub (piss poor effort, as you can see from the picture) and erected a sign which says: 'A Protestant town for a Protestant people.'
The protest apparently springs from a planning decision, that he says went against him, due to his religion, and he says it's not a sectarian protest.
Mr Devine is also a property developer, responsable for building lots of holiday homes for Northern Irish protestants. I suppose he thinks he isn't a hypocrite, either.
What a wanker
Irish airline exposed promoting terrorism
The Irish national airline, Aer Lingus, has been exposed as having an in flight radio channel
devoted to terrorist hate anthems, sung by Wolfe Tones hate band's Derek Warfield, such as, 'Remember Bobby Sands', 'Ten Dead Men,' 'Volunteers of Ireland' and 'Fighting Irish', on one of their transatlantic flights. This was discovered by Northern Irish Unionist politician, Roy Beggs, who immediately made a complaint, which resulted in the channel being removed from all flights.
We'd like to know why it took the intervention of a foreign politician to remove such unsuitable material, and why apparently no-one else had complained previously.

The club in questionNaked justice
A Dublin lap dancing club has had its licence withdrawn
after a court was told that illegal sexual activity had taken place there. In the Dublin District Court, Judge Michael 'alley cat' Connellan found that this went beyond any definition of dancing, when gardai gave evidence that a man had groped a lap-dancer. The distinguished justice who once was reported as saying, during a judgement in a public disorder case, that he did not blame the defendant for hitting a woman, and went on to complain about women "acting like alley cats and fighting like savages".
Interestingly, a couple of years ago, he allowed a Donegal night club to remain open, despite convicitions for overcrowding.
Looks like nude women are a bigger danger to the public than illegal overcrowding.

Ireland's economic collapse put into perspective
What a dickhead. First it's a ban on contraception, divorce and tampons, and now it's chewing gum
A Waterford County Councillor has called on the government to introduce an outright ban on chewing gum before "our country is destroyed with it".
Fianna Fail cllr, Geoff Power went on to say, "It is scandalous, our country is destroyed with it"'

No wonder the wife left himBastard does it again!
Jim 'bastard' McDaid, the Donegal minister, who called for an amnesty for welfare fraudsters, but condemned those who had committed suicide as "selfish bastards" has done it again, by stating in a local radio interview, that he would have no problem in refueling Iraqi aircraft in Ireland, if they were en-route to attack the USA.
"So long as they are part of the United Nations, we would refuel them".
Let's all hope he was just taking the piss, like his son was, when he was sentenced to 3 months in a British jail, for a hoax terrorist bomb scare.

Sorry justice
Judge John Neilan has had to appologise for remarks he made during a shoplifting case involving two foreign women, when he said, the majority of shopping centres in his District Court area would be putting a ban of access to what he described as coloured people "if this type of behaviour did not stop"...... "There are people in this State who have worked all of their lives and they don't, in their old-age pension, have the benefits these ladies have" .... "The majority of shopping centres in this District Court area will be putting a ban of access to coloured people if this type of behaviour does not stop... "We give them dignity and respect, and the first thing they do is engage in criminal activity..... "All you are asked to do is conduct yourselves as any other citizen in this state. You have let your countrymen and women down, and it's just a pity that a few like you can malign so many."
Strange then that the judge didn't have similar comments when sitting in Donegal, and heard much evidence regarding defendants who were up on motoring offences, who claimed to be 'unemployed' and on means tested state benefits.

No room at Ireland's inn?
We've got thousands of homeless, living on the streets, in Ireland. Some are forecasting that it will take 30 years, at the present rate of building, before our waiting lists for social housing are dealt with. And yet, people are able to come over to Ireland, from places like England, after selling their own homes, living the high life on the proceeds, while applying for SI council houses to be built on plots of land that they purchase.
We aren't saying it's illegal, although if it isn't, it should be.
Sharp practices have been traditional in Ireland's social housing system. Most notably, during the time our economy was in an abyss, with cut-backs here, there and everywhere (even worse than the situation, now) it was apparently as easy as accidentally meeting a TD's secretary on the ferry, while returning home after a holiday in Ireland, to be told that all you needed was an Irish address, and a plot of land, to be able to have a council house built for you here. Being resident in the country didn't matter, and some, we've been told, continued to work and live in Britain, before getting the call that their houses were completed, and making the move to their new country, and a life of unemployed prosperity.
Of course, such things don't happen now (well, we hope they don't) but having thousands of your own citizens living on the streets, while providing brand new homes for those not in any need, is bad enough.
You won't hear of many complaining about this, but you will hear plenty of complaints about asylum seekers sponging off the system. Or to describe them more accurately, poor black buggers, running for their lives, willing to work and actually contribute to the country, but who aren't allowed to.

So, sue me!
Could this be true? And if so, why?
Sources have told Mad-as-Hell.Com that the Donegal County Council offices car park in Lifford, is full of Northern Ireland registered cars.

Asylum seekers profit from Ireland's rising unemployment
Ireland's rising unemployment figures have led to the government reducing the admission of legal foreign workers. Unfortunately, in Donegal, where there's still a need for such workers, despite it being the county with the highest unemployment in the country, some employers have had to take matters into their own hands and are said to be illegaly employing asylum seekers. [Ed note: we at Mad-as-.Hell.Com strongly believe that asylum seekers should have the legal right to work]

From the ridiculous, to the clinicaly insane
Donegal's 'community' newspaper, the Donegal Times, has run a front page article requesting that the Irish and British Prime Ministers tell US president, George W Bush, to end his plans to invade Iraq. If you're against the war, reading this from the US, and intend to visit our country and stay in a Donegal Town hotel, you should know that the two main hotels in the town are owned by the proprietor of the newspaper in question. While we ourselves can see the wisdom of both sides, we don't bite the hand that feeds us. (other than the Dept of Social Welfare)
Also worth a mention, is our most popular member of parliament in the Donegal SW constituency, Pat 'idiot name' Gallagher, who wrote a hillarious letter to the newspaper's letter page, saying that he'd brought the matter of this article to the attention of the Irish Prime Minister. Pat's credentials for supporting the peaceful resolution of conflict, were established when he married his wife, a convicted terrorist.
Meanwhile, airline security inconveniences appear to have been relaxed, as a reliable source has told Mad-as-Hell.Com, that a passenger on an Aer Lingus flight from New York to Ireland, was allowed to carry a largish pane of glass on board the plane, as cabin baggage.

Sickening story
One out of every five members of the Gardai (the Irish police farce) are suing for compensation
for injuries received while carrying out their duties. Serious injuries have been reported by the press, such as the trauma of being vomited over, while making an arrest.

Click here to enter TheIrishCrimes.Com
Click here to enter TheIrishCrimes.ComNew Irish political site, with info on political parties and politicians. All you need to know to get you started on the road to being as mad as hell.
If it walks like a duck?
Galway County Council has announced that from now on, planning permission in an Irish speaking part of the county, will now only be granted to speakers of the Irish language. They say it isn't a racist move, because anyone can learn to speak Irish.
Well, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, smells like a duck, looks like a duck and craps like a duck, it is a bloody duck.... and a racist one at that.

Taxpayer's money well spent?
Good to see our public representitives have tightened their financial belts in this time of national financial crisis. During the recent publicity stunt, which saw the Irish cabinet meeting in Glenveigh Castle in Donegal, the ministers travelled by air, to Donegal (OK, now, don't laugh) 'International' Airport. No doubt, to save the expense of hireing chauffer driven limos to the castle, the ministers' ministerial cars were driven all the way from Dublin to pick them up from, and then return them to the airport, before being driven back, empty, to Dublin.
Then, of course, there was the small matter of the table.

Poor judgement?
A 27-year-old woman who threw a cream pie at the Taoiseach before the General Election has agreed to do community service rather than go to jail.
Bairbre Flood, of Ballinacarrow, County Sligo, pleaded guilty to a public order offence after she struck our Bertie with a pie in Sligo, in April.
Judge Oliver McGuinness said this was no run of the mill public order offence, and that it was premeditated and an attack on democracy and society.
What we at Mad-as-Hell.Com would like to know, is what does this judge call the lies and deceipt, used by Ahern and his cronies, in order to win the election?
Lies, such as saying that the economy was sound. So sound, that effective drugs for cancer patients are now being withheld, in health service cutbacks.

John Doherty, paedophile priestBugger the little children to come unto me
The news that the ex-chaplain from a Donegal school, was a paedophile, came as no surprise to us,
when he was recently named in the national press. Sentenced to 3 years for serious sexual offences, committed over 20 years ago, back in 2000, his victims wanted him named and shamed, and the gardai have now asked for anyone who was abused by him, to now come forward. Shame that they didn't have the same attitude, well over 20 years ago, when it was well known that something was amiss. Shame the school in question didn't do something, despite the talk circulating of certain irregularities concerning Doherty in the classroom. But then, at the time, as well as some dedicated teachers, the school staff included a motley crew of
******, terrorist sympathisers and a senior member of staff who allegedly continued to physically abuse pupils almost (if not until) his recent retirement.
As for the local Catholic hierachy, little seems to have changed, with the news that the Bishop of Raphoe, Philip Boyce, was allowing priests to continue their work, despite claims of abuse being lodged. Boyce, you may recall, from previous editions, was the bishop who called for a no vote in the first Treaty of Nice referendum, on the grounds that it would introduce abortion into Ireland. Do we have to wait for the time when clerical paedophiles figure out a way to roger un-born foetuses up the arse, while still in the womb, before the Church in Ireland and elsewhere starts taking the whole thing seriously?
A punch in the face
An anti-bullying programme piloted among 800 children at primary schools
in Donegal has resulted in a drop of a quarter in the incidence of bullying at the schools. Excellent news, but one concerned Donegal parent of young children thinks the campaign didn't go far enough. When interviewed by Mad-as-Hell.Com, he told us about his 6 year old girl, being subjected to verbal abuse when on the school bus. He told us that complaints were made last year, to the company which ran the service, that his daughter had been given the same abuse, and that he, a parent, himself had even been told to stay away from the bus. As recently as last month, he complained that he'd been threatened with a punch in the face, and was again told to stay away from the bus (and this time, by the company running the service).
We can't help wondering, if such things occured on regular bus services, to both children and their parents, if such complaints of bullying by the drivers would be taken more seriously by the company concerned.
This one's still playing out, we'll be back with more.

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