Welcome to Sardarji's Jokes Page No.1

  1.Janaaza

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;

  2.This is a letter from a Sardarjee mother to her son.

Pyaarey puttar,
Vahe Guru.
I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't now whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jatinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. and your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love sat shree akal.
Mom.
P. S : I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

  3. Mug of Beer

An insect falls into a mug of beer...
Event: An insect falls into a mug of beer...
Reactions:
Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out
American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer
Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away
Japanese:Drinks the beer with insect as it is coming free
Indian Sardar:Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. ......INTELLIGENT INDIANS
Pakistani: -Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer -Relates the issue to Kashmir -Asks the Chinese for Military aid -Takes a loan from the American to buy oone more mug of beer

  4.Appointment

Banta`s wife, Preeto, and kids all came down with the flu. Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife. After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor. The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days. Banta went ballistic and yelled into the phone, "Three days?! The doctor can`t see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!" Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?"

  5.Heaven

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

  6.The Flying Sikh

No Sardar joke page would be complete without a few about Milkha Singh. It is rumoured that this one really happened:
Milkha, after warming up for a race during the 1964 Olympics in Tokya (where he missed that bronze), was sitting back on the grass taking it easy.
A white athlete came along and remarked: "relaxing huh"
"no I'm Milkha Singh" replied the flying Sikh
After retiring from Track and Field, Milkha Singh was appointed
'Director of Sports Punjab'
One morning Milkha is reading the newspaper when his neighbour dropped in.
Neighbour:"Director sahib phone karna se"
Milkha:"karo ji karo" hands neighbour the cordless.
The neighbour looks in his pockets for the piece of paper where he had jotted down the number. Not finding it he opts for looking it up in the phone book instead. He turns to Milkha and asks:- "Director sahib, directory kithe hai"?
"Directori nhondi hai" says Milkha looking up (my wife is taking a bath)

  7.Banana

Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and exclaimed " sala aaj bhi phisalna hoga".
Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed"ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!

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