| PARTS 13-15 |
PART THIRTEEN “Are you sure?” Kyle looked at her sideways as she finished making another ham sandwich. “I’m sure. It’s fine.” “And, I’m supposed to believe you’re just friends.” “Kyle, we’re not even friends, really. Believe whatever you want.” “Maria, you’re killin’ me here.” “Oh, leave me alone. Get going, I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.” “Uh huh…” “ Kyle.” “If you’d just wait until later tonight so that I could help you-.” “You shouldn’t be doing the lifting anyway. That’s why your buddies are helping you, remember?” she was starting to get annoyed, they were arguing like they were kids again. She was beginning to wonder when it would dissolve into ‘are too’ - ‘am not’. They were locked in a bizarre power struggle, a struggle that seemed to be manifesting itself all over the place. “Did I do something to piss you off? Every single time I try to talk to you, you close down and get defensive. I’m just trying to help you move, does that make me the anti-Christ?” his tone belied some of the tension that had been building between them for weeks. “You know what, Kyle? You did do something to piss me off. I’ve been running my life just fine without any help from you, so why wouldn’t I resent it that you suddenly have opinions about who I’m seeing and what I’m doing? God, I’m not Abby. This parenting crap is really getting on my nerves.” “Fine. Great. This is really how I wanted our last few hours of sharing a living space to go down,” he angrily took the sandwiches she’d made and tossed them into a paper bag. “And, you know what you’re missing here, Maria? Me having opinions about who you’re seeing and what you’re doing – it means that I care. God forbid I should be concerned about what’s going on in your life, especially when it involves one of the weirdest guys I’ve ever met.” “Have fun moving, Kyle,” she started to put away the sandwich fixings, hoping he’d leave. He walked out of the room without another word. *** “Yeah, yeah, coming,” Michael shouted as the knocking on the door got more insistent. He opened the door and almost shut it again. “Uh, hi.” For a moment he considered moving…to a place where no one knew his name, or anything about him. “Hi. Alex, right?” “Yeah…” the dark haired man gave him a weak smile. “Come in,” Michael said. When they were both seated in the living area, Alex began to nod absently as though he were having an internal conversation. “Look, I don’t mean to rush you, but I’ve sort of got somewhere to be this morning, so…” Michael watched him closely, wondering exactly what the other man was going to say. “I,” Alex paused for a moment and cleared his throat as he began tapping his fingers together, “well, I think I did something that I regret.” “You think you did something that you regret,” Michael couldn’t stop the smart-assed mimic from passing his lips. Alex looked up at him, irritated, “Look, this isn’t easy for me. Isabel told me…well, let’s just say I wasn’t exactly aware of how things ended between you two. I’ve recently had certain things cleared up for me, regarding those… circumstances…and, I-.” “So, she told you that I walked in on you f*cking her.” “That’s my wife you’re talking about,” Alex glared at him, obviously making an effort to restrain himself.. “I think I know that,” Michael gave the guy a smirk. “You don’t know anything about her.” “I’d be willing to bet that I know more than you do,” Michael raised his eyebrows leeringly, not caring if he was baiting the guy. Alex stood, “All right. Scratch what I said before. I don’t regret anything I’ve done. You loved her, and believe me, I can understand that making someone act crazy, but you are without a doubt the most arrogant assh*le I’ve ever met.” “Right, whatever makes you feel better about screwing with my life,” Michael whispered as he got to his feet, intending to show Alex to the door. “What are you talking about?” “Well, hey, you’ve got Isabel. Now, you’re messing with Maria-.” “What are you talking about? I didn’t mention Maria,” Alex narrowed his eyes. “Isabel told me. She told me that you said something to Maria about me. Doesn’t really matter, she was on to my ‘assh*le-ness’ before you ever entered the picture, but-.” “ Isabel told you? When?” Alex looked shocked. “The other day. She dropped by,” Michael knew his tone was too casual, but he didn’t care - let the guy sweat a little. “How often does she ‘drop by’?” “Afraid she might be re-living the past? Or is it more about the ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ adage?” Alex stood and took a menacing step toward him, Michael knew he’d crossed the line. It did take guts for the guy to come here and try to clear things up. Clearing his throat, Michael shook his head slowly as he spoke, “That was probably uncalled for. She doesn’t ‘drop by’, she just wanted to give me a heads up.” Still looking skeptical, Alex pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes as he let out a long sigh, “I did say something to Maria. Not much, I just told her she could do better, that you’d been weird with Isabel.” Michael sat back slowly in his chair and looked up at the other man, “I guess that’s true. So, no hard feelings. Just go in peace, or whatever.” Instead of leaving as Michael expected him to, Alex sat down again, and spoke softly, “Did you see it coming?” “Did I see what coming?” “Her, leaving you. Did you see it coming?” Alex asked wearily. “Isabel? No. But then she’d just tell you that’s because I’m emotionally illiterate or something. There were probably signs...” Alex nodded, “I don’t know what she’s doing with me. At first, I spent every minute thanking my lucky stars, but now…” he shrugged and held his hands out in a gesture of helplessness. Michael was starting to feel for the guy – the truth was that if he’d had a brain, he’d have been this insecure when he was with Isabel. Standing again, Alex walked over to the windows, “How did you survive it? I can’t imagine getting over her. I could never love anyone else.” “Love is bullsh*t,” Michael said almost cheerily as he stood and walked into his corner studio. “What, you don’t want to love again, or do you mean you don’t believe in it?” “Don’t think I ever believed in it. It isn’t real. Everything is just a chemical response.” “That is one of the stupidest statements I have ever heard,” Alex gave him an almost pitying glance. “Whatever.” “Is that Maria?” Alex asked, walking in his direction. Why was everybody able to tell who it was? “Yeah,” he replied, looking up at the painting Alex had spotted. “I guess you really aren’t dating then.” Michael glanced at the other man, “What makes you say that?” “Well, I mean, you’re painting her.” “Yeah…so?” “You don’t paint people you know,” Alex said matter of factly. “Hey, I don’t know what school of thought that’s from, but speaking as someone who ‘paints’ on a regular basis…that’s really stupid,” Michael snorted. “No,” Alex shook his head. “It’s not a school of thought, Isabel said…” Michael stared at the man who now had a suspicious look on his face, “Isabel said what?” “Have you ever painted Isabel?” Alex asked softly. “Uh, yeah,” Michael nodded his head slowly, beginning to wonder if the guy was right in the head. “Can I see?” Alex’s voice was barely more than a whisper. Scratching his head, Michael nodded, “Um, I guess. I think there are a couple of pieces upstairs. Why do you ask?” “No reason.” “Ok…” Michael said quietly as he started toward the stairs. “Follow me.” He entered his storage room on the third floor and quickly walked into the back corner where he kept his work. “Here,” he said, throwing a dust cloth back and laying out his three paintings of Isabel. “That’s it?” Alex asked, gesturing at the pieces. “What do you mean?” “I mean, that’s all there is? You were together for three years, and this is all there is.” “Well, I have stuff in sketch books, and then there’s the one that I gave Diane.” “So, you do paint people you know?” Alex asked softly. Things were getting strange, Alex was looking a little bewildered, and Michael was clueless as to why. He wished this little visit would end. “Yeah. I mean, not all of the time, but yeah…” Michael glanced at his watch. “Look, I’ve got to go, I’m supposed to be helping someone move.” “Oh, sorry,” Alex said, as he followed Michael out of the room and down the stairs. “So, uh, I guess I’ll see ya’…” Michael tried to come up with something polite to say as he lead Alex to the door. “She told me that you’d never done a painting of her.” “Huh?” Michael turned around to face the guy. What was he talking about? “Isabel. She told me that you don’t paint people you know,” Alex’s voice was soft, and he was visibly upset. “I don’t know why she told you that.” “I don’t either,” Alex shook his head slowly as he walked out the door. *** Maria quickly grabbed her jacket from her room after she buzzed up Michael, then ran for the door when she heard his knock, “Coming!” She threw it open, and was greeted by a face she didn’t expect to see at all. It hadn’t been Michael who’d buzzed. “Alex?” “Hi, Maria,” he gave her a small smile. “Hope you don’t mind, I got the address from Liz…” “Oh, uh, no,” she smiled back, wondering what he was doing there. “Would you like to come in?” “Yeah, I’ll just stay for a minute, I need to talk to you.” “Ok…” Maria stepped back and let him enter the apartment. “Are you moving?” Alex gestured at the boxes stacked all around. “Oh, yeah. My brother rented a house, and I’m moving closer to school.” Alex nodded, but looked lost in thought, “I said some things, Maria, that I probably shouldn’t have.” “Really?” she was puzzled. “About Michael.” “Michael.” “Yeah,” he nodded and looked at her. “I gave you the impression that he was a bad guy, when the truth is I didn’t know what I was talking about.” “Oh,” Maria smiled uncomfortably, “hey, no big deal.” “No, it is. Obviously he’s interested in you, and-.” “No, no,” she shook her head and laughed slightly, “he’s not interested in me. We just got fixed up for your wedding, and then by some bizarre coincidence, my brother knew Tess-.” “Maria, I don’t really know him, but from everything I’ve seen-.” Alex was interrupted by the buzzer, and Maria absently pushed the release button as he continued. “…well, he acts interested. And, then, the paintings – well, I suppose they speak for themselves.” “Honestly, Alex, he’s not interested,” she smiled. “And, as for the paintings, all they do is prove how little he thinks of me. You know, he doesn’t paint anyone he knows – you’re the one that told me that.” “That’s not true. He does paint people he knows, just not often.” Maria shook her head sharply, “No. You-.” “Maria, I saw five times more paintings of you in his studio than he did of Isabel in all of the time they were together.” Still shaking her head, Maria started to feel dizzy, “That’s not-.” A knock at the door stopped her mid-sentence. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before she walked over to open it. There wasn’t any doubt as to the identity of the knocker this time. “Hi,” she said softly as she opened the door to him. “Hey,” Michael replied, raising his eyebrows slightly in greeting, then letting out a long sharp breath as he walked into the apartment. Alex glanced quickly back and forth between Maria and Michael, and Maria felt like her face was going to burn up. “Hello again, Michael.” “Uh, hey, Alex…” Michael nodded at him, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Well, I guess Maria was the person you were supposed to help move?” “Yeah…” Michael glanced at her briefly then looked back at Alex. “I was just, ah, going,” Alex pointed at the door, then walked toward it. “I’ll see you later, Maria. I think you should consider what I said…” Maria nodded, her face felt so hot she thought she was going to faint as she closed the door after Alex. Obviously Michael had an idea what the guy was doing there, and she was more embarrassed than she’d ever thought was possible. She didn’t want Michael to think that she held any hope of anything happening between them. “So, where do you want me to start?” Michael asked her, but kept his eyes on some boxes in the corner. It was unusual, he almost always insisted on eye contact. “Well, I suppose my furniture first, I’ve got a bed, and a desk, and a dresser,” it took a concerted effort for her to keep her voice even, and her knees from buckling. “Yeah, ok,” he nodded, immediately setting off down the hall. She followed after him, he didn’t even know which bedroom was hers. *** Michael tried not to smile as she flopped down on her bare mattress. “ God, I’m exhausted,” she sighed loudly, as she threw her forearm over her eyes dramatically. “This was the easiest move I’ve ever been a part of,” he said condescendingly, watching her face for a reaction as he leaned casually against the doorframe of her new room. She moved her arm and scowled at him, then softened her look, “Thank you for helping me.” “Yeah, no problem,” he shrugged. “No, seriously, I don’t know what I would have done-.” “I said no problem.” She scrunched up her nose, “All right, no need to get snippy.” “Whatever.” “I’ll take you back so you can get your car,” she said quietly as she got to her feet. “Ok,” he said turning and walking down the hall toward the front door. Things hadn’t been as awkward as he’d thought they’d be after he’d walked in on her with Alex. Obviously she’d already finished telling the guy what she thought of ‘Michael the assh*le’ before he’d arrived. He watched her as she worked with the ancient lock on the rental truck. Her face was scrunched in concentration, her lips out in a serious pout. “Did I tell you I got a job over there?” she asked as she pointed across the street to the coffee house that had once been his hang-out. He’d taken her there. Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as she pulled away from the curb, he decided to try making conversation, “When do you start work?” “Monday,” she smiled. “Oh,” he nodded. “So…are you excited, for school?” Her smile grew broader, and he couldn’t take his eyes from her profile, “Yeah, I never thought I’d say it, but I actually am. It’s stupid, I know.” “No, it’s not stupid.” She glanced at him for a moment, then moved her eyes back to the road. *** Maria adjusted her small tie-on apron slightly, then went back to refilling the straw containers. She loved her new job already, of course it was only her first day. Her boss was incredibly easy-going, and had told her to wear whatever she wanted as long as she looked ‘cool’. The door chime sounded, and when no one came to the counter to order coffee, she peaked over at her new co-worker, “Gina, did that person sit at a table?” Gina looked up briefly from her magazine, “Yeah, you wanna’ take him?” “Sure,” Maria smiled and walked out to the small round table. There he sat, lounging, his chair leaned back on two legs, his face drawn up in it’s usual devil-may-care smirk, “Michael?” “Hey,” he nodded slightly and raised his eyebrows before lowering his chair back to the ground. What was he doing here? Why…Why…Why…? “W-What…what are you…?” “I’ll have two dishes of-.” “ Michael.” “What?” he leaned forward and looked up at her as if she were crazy. “What are you doing here?” His look seemed to be questioning her sanity, and he spoke slowly, “I’m ordering. They still serve food here, don’t they?” This couldn’t possibly be a coincidence. He knew she’d be here, he knew it. She swallowed hard, “It’s two dishes of chocolate mousse, right?” He relaxed and leaned back slightly, still looking at her intently, then nodded, “Yeah.” Maria tried not to trip on her way back to the kitchen. PART FOURTEEN “Maria, promise you won’t leave me alone?” “I promise,” Maria nodded with a forced smile. “I hate these things, but I always try to enjoy myself for his sake.” “Ok,” Maria tried to make the smile bigger, “I’ll pretend to enjoy myself too.” Tess giggled and locked arms with her as they walked through the door. Maria still wasn’t sure what she was doing there. She studied the uber-chic crowds as they made their way across the room. Her hand flew to her hair. Suddenly, the matching buns behind each of her ears with wisps of razored hair sticking out of them seemed juvenile, and ridiculous. Why was she here? Curiosity. Morbid, morbid curiosity. She wanted to know what she was going to find hanging on the walls at his latest showing. *** “Michael?” He turned, and looked into sad brown eyes, “Iz.” “Everything looks wonderful,” her hand made a sweeping gesture around the room before coming back to settle on her protruding stomach. A small smile pulled the corners of her mouth for a moment, then just as quickly was gone. “Thanks,” he nodded slightly. Isabel gave him a slight nod, then pursed her lips as she drew a long breath. He knew she was nearly eight months pregnant, but she looked more beautiful than she ever had. Her hair hung down her back, long and straight. Perfection, as always, Isabel. “I’m going to mingle,” she said softly, looking deeply into his eyes. She was haunted, he knew it, and he couldn’t help but feel a little responsible. Alex left her. “Have fun,” he tried to joke with her, “I’ll be hiding in the corner.” Blinking quickly, she smiled slightly again, “I don’t know why you come to these things.” “I don’t know either. Why do you come?” “For you, Michael,” her tone made it clear that he should already know that. For a moment, she hesitated, and he thought she might hug him, but she didn’t. She gathered her dignity, and walked away. He watched her glide away. True to his word, he made his way into the corner, and sat down, watching the people milling about the room. A few girls were trying to catch his eye, but none of them looked interesting. His gaze found Max and Liz, standing in front of a piece in the opposite corner from him. Their hands were interlaced, and after a few moments of looking, they simply moved on to the next painting. He hadn’t greeted them yet, so he stood and started to make his way over to them. To his left, he hard a metallic clatter, and then a voice he knew too well. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me help you, oh – I am so sorry.” Turning, he saw her, just a few feet away. She was on her knees, wiping up some red liquid on the floor as the waiter watched her helplessly, trying to tell her not to bother. He walked over to her, and looked down, then stooped and grabbed the towel she’d taken from the waiter out of her hand and handed it back to the man. “Uh, hi…” she sounded breathless, and her cheeks were flushed. He stood and held his hand down for her. She took it and let him pull her to her feet. Silently, he watched as she straightened and brushed her gray skirt, and repositioned her sleeveless red top. “I, uh…” she started to speak, while studying her hands intently. She seemed even more nervous than usual. “I’m here with Tess. My brother couldn’t make it until later, so,” she shrugged as her words came out in a rush, “I’m sort of here in his place.” “Ok…” he didn’t really know how he was supposed to respond. She didn’t need to apologize for being there. “Well, I should go find Tess,” she jerked her thumb to the left, and looked in that direction, then quickly walked away. He watched her go, watched her halting gate as she hesitantly looked around for their friend. As usual, he couldn’t take his eyes from her. She was captivating. Earlier that day, he’d wanted to ask her to come tonight. They’d been sitting at the little table in the café, like they did everyday. She was droning on about something while he was eating the fruit she’d put in front of him – he wasn’t allowed to choose his own food anymore, she’d said that much chocolate mousse wasn’t ‘healthy’, and she’d started bringing him ‘better’ things to eat. At one point, she’d looked up at him, her face animated as she explained the issue she had with one of her professors, and he’d wanted to ask her to come with him tonight. The moment had been fleeting, and he’d resisted the urge. It was pointless, he really wasn’t good for her, and she didn’t feel anything for him anymore. *** Maria didn’t know what to think. She couldn’t ask anyone, and that only made things worse. At this point, she’d studied nearly every piece in the room, and she hadn’t seen herself anywhere. Should she be glad, or should she cry? What did it mean? Glancing across the room at him, she accidentally caught his eye, and then quickly looked away. She felt strange about just showing up here, she probably should have told him she was coming. Moving toward the back of the room, she saw the last two pieces hanging side by side. One was an empty swing, the sort you’d find on a playground. The other was the one she’d seen him working on, it was Isabel and Alex dancing at their wedding. She stepped toward it hesitantly, and examined it in it’s finished state. *** Michael watched her carefully, he should never have agreed to showing that one. He hadn’t known that she would come, though. Without another thought, he made his way over to her. He stopped just behind her, resisting the urge to touch her. She seemed to sense his presence, she tensed, and turned her head to the side to glance at him. He watched as her tiny hand reached out, pointing at the scene in the corner of the picture. “Is that, um…?” her question hung in the air. “Yeah, it is,” he couldn’t deny it, he didn’t want to deny it, besides - she already knew. “Oh,” her voice was soft, and she nodded slightly, then glanced to the side again, trying to look at him. His eyes traveled back to the painting, first to Isabel and Alex, the false focal point, then to the shaded area in the upper corner. He saw himself, looking at her as she stared at the couple with a look of awe on her face. It was a reflection of how he’d felt at that moment, watching her. She turned around to face him, her lips moved slightly as though she were trying to speak. “I…” he didn’t know why he opened his mouth, he didn’t really have anything to say. “Michael, where are the others?” she asked, staring at the floor. “Others?” “The other ones,” she shrugged, and glanced up at him, then quickly looked off to her right, “the other ones of me.” “Those are mine,” he was irritated, what did she think? That he’d put those up in public? They were for him, they were inspired, they were too personal – they were her. She swallowed, and looked up at him again, just for a moment. That was what she thought of him. He ran his hand through his hair quickly, and then backed away from her. *** Maria watched him go. She could hardly believe what had just happened. The look, that look of pain, it had only been on his face briefly, but she’d seen it…she’d put it there. Shaking her head slightly, she turned back to the painting. To bask again in the truth of it, to see the way he was looking at her in it. Their faces were shadowed, and if she hadn’t been there, she probably would never have noticed, but there it was. “You’re Max and Liz’s friend, right?” She turned to see a very pregnant Isabel standing beside her, regarding the piece as well. “Yes, I’m Maria, actually we’ve met before, Isabel.” Isabel nodded, and gave her a tiny smile, “Yes, I know.” Maria didn’t really know what to say to the woman. She’d heard that Alex had left her. As Liz put it, he ‘moved out’. Apparently, he was still in town, still making doctor’s appointments for the baby, but their marriage was over. She still remembered the way she’d felt when Liz told her, it seemed so shocking, they seemed so much in love. “He captured you very well,” Maria said lamely, gesturing at the dancing couple, not really knowing what to say. “Yes,” Isabel nodded as she continued to study it. After a moment, the woman took a step forward, staring up into the corner as she absentmindedly rubbed her stomach, “That’s him, there – that’s Michael.” “Ah, yeah, I guess it is,” Maria said softly, her eyes wandering back to the tiny scene. “Maria…” Isabel’s voice trailed off as she continued to stare. “Is that you with him?” Things were growing even more uncomfortable, she shrugged and tried to be nonchalant, “I don’t know.” “It is, it’s you.” Maria shrugged when Isabel turned to stare at her. “How long have you been with him?” Isabel asked, her voice low. “I-I’m not with him.” Isabel stared at her for a moment, then walked away. *** Michael glanced back and forth between Liz and Max. He still wasn’t sure how he’d ended up going out for coffee with them. Looking across the table at Maria, he remembered why he hadn’t left already. “I felt sorry for Isabel,” Liz said softly, glancing back and forth between Max and Maria. Max frowned, and nodded, “Yeah, I know.” Maria seemed uncomfortable with the subject, and began to fidget with her coffee cup, then she reached across the table and broke off a piece of his sweet roll and ate it. “Uh, Maria, would you like your own roll?” Liz laughed softly, sounding slightly embarrassed, looking first at Max and then at him. “Huh?” Maria asked her absently as she glanced around the room. Liz gave him an apologetic look, but he simply shook his head. They didn’t have any way of knowing that she ate off his plate all of the time. “So, Maria, what did you think of Michael’s work?” Max looked at the girl. Michael watched her closely as her eyes darted his way for a moment, then slid nervously back to Max. “Oh, um, it was really great,” she said, giving Max a polite smile. “It really was great, Michael,” Liz turned to him. “The one of Alex and Isabel at their wedding was especially moving.” He hated it when people discussed his work, especially when they tried to involve him in the discussion. Liz was staring at him now, expecting him to make some insightful remark. Maria cleared her throat and turned to Liz, “So, are you excited about graduation, girl? Your parents must be so proud.” Liz seemed a little shocked at the turn of conversation, and again shot apologetic looks first in Max’s direction, then in his. It was starting to piss him off, this need she seemed to have to apologize for Maria. “Well, I’m proud,” Max said with a grin, interrupting the small cloud of tension that had settled over the table. Michael watched for a moment as Max and Liz’s hands reached automatically across the table to one another, he rolled his eyes, and caught the faint sound of a snicker from Maria. He looked up at her, she had seen him, and was trying not to laugh. He felt a wave of relief wash over him, for a reason that he couldn’t even begin to fathom. “Should we tell them?” Liz’s lips curled into a smile as she gazed into her lover’s eyes. Michael watched in horrified wonder as Max sighed and gave her a dreamy grin in return, “We should tell someone.” “Ok,” Maria leaned forward and waved her hand between the two, “I’m sure that this little inside conversation you’re having is very fun for the two of you, but the rest of us are a little lost.” “Yeah,” Michael decided to pitch in, “what’d you two do, get matching tattoos or something?” Max and Liz shared another ‘secretive’ smile. Had they actually gotten tattoos? He was beginning to wonder when Max finally spoke. “We’re engaged.” Engaged? Was the guy crazy? He’d proposed to Tess a little over six months ago, now he was engaged to Liz? “Wow,” Maria said under her breath as she leaned back in her chair and her eyes grew large and round. “Uh, could one of you look at me so that I can tell if this is a joke?” Michael spoke sharply. Liz finally broke their intense stare and turned to look at Michael, “No, it’s not a joke.” Michael turned to Max who returned his gaze sheepishly, it was obvious that his friend knew what he was thinking. “Liz…” Maria spoke softly, and Michael glanced up to see that she’d put a smile on her face for her friend’s sake. “Congratulations, I guess…?” Smiling, Liz nodded, “Isn’t it wonderful?” “Well,” Maria giggled nervously, “it’s a little fast, but if you two are sure…” “Never been so sure of anything in my life,” Max said as he reached across the table with his other hand to grasp Liz’s. “Really?” Michael didn’t hide his sarcasm. “Are you as sure as you were when you proposed to Tess in November?” This was going to kill Tess, he knew it was. She and Kyle were sort of seeing each other, but hadn’t progressed at all, as far as he knew they hadn’t even kissed yet. Max was still an issue for her. Maria caught his eye from across the table, and gave him a look of understanding. She was thinking the same thing. Max looked less than pleased, “Look, Michael, I know that you haven’t exactly had an easy time with love, but can’t you just be happy for us?” Michael scoffed, “This has nothing to do with me, Max, this has to do with you. You said yourself, you haven’t told anyone else. Now, why is that?” “We haven’t told anyone because of Isabel and Alex,” Liz said, showing her irritation at his lack of enthusiasm as she glared at him. “Well,” Michael shrugged, “you’re gonna’ do what you’re gonna’ do, so knock yourselves out. Congratulations, or whatever.” Max nodded at him, and he nodded back. “What is that supposed to mean?” Liz snapped. Maria put her hand on Liz’s arm, “He means ‘congratulations’, Liz, it’s just a little sudden – we’re a little surprised, that’s all.” An uncomfortable silence settled over the table, and Michael studied Liz. She looked upset, and when he thought about it, he couldn’t blame her, she seemed happy and it was obvious she just wanted everyone else to be too. It didn’t really matter that much to him, it was a mistake, but they’d just have to find that out for themselves. “Well,” Maria broke the silence, “have you set a date?” “No,” Max shook his head slowly, “we haven’t gotten that far.” “But,” Liz turned to Maria, and seemed to brighten a bit, “I’d love for you to be a bridesmaid.” Smiling, Maria nodded, “Of course, and you caught me just in time too, I’ve got one more bridesmaid card to play.” Liz laughed a little, and Maria giggled as she reached across the table and broke off another piece of his sweet roll and at it. “ Maria,” Liz chided. “What?” Maria turned to her friend with a cheery look as she popped the bite into her mouth. “You keep eating Michael’s roll, that’s a little rude,” Liz tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced at Max for confirmation. Michael watched as Maria’s face turned red. She was embarrassed, but not for eating his roll. “Sorry,” Maria whispered in his general direction. He stared at her. She didn’t want them to know that she did it out of habit, that much was obvious. “ Michael,” Max nudged his elbow, “tell her you don’t mind.” “She knows I don’t mind,” he said, keeping his eyes on Maria. He didn’t care if she got mad at him, he didn’t have anything to hide. Max laughed nervously, and looked at Maria, trying to joke through his own discomfort, “Michael’s such a people person.” “That’s it,” Michael pushed his chair back and stood, pulling out his wallet and throwing some money onto the table. He looked first at Max, “You don’t need to apologize for me.” Next, he glared at Liz, “And, you don’t need to apologize for her.” Maria was staring at him, and he met her gaze, he knew she’d probably turn him down for all of her good reasons, but he was going to ask anyway, “Wanna’ get out of here?” She hesitated. Liz glanced at her questioningly, and Max was taking a very long, very deep breath. “Sure,” she said as she stood, “later, guys.” Before she could think better of it, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the place behind him. *** Maria glanced in his direction, he caught her and gazed back for a moment before letting his eyes slide back to the road. Liz had probably already left her fifty messages by now. There would have to be explanations for this. She could hear it now, ‘What is going on between you and Michael?’. At the moment, she didn’t really care. Being here, in his car, with him…she felt better than she had all night. Her thoughts drifted back to the gallery, the painting… “I guess I won’t be your dirty little secret anymore, huh?” he asked, breaking the silence. “What?” she turned to him. “You heard me,” he said as he rested his elbow on the door and ran a hand through his hair. “If anyone’s the dirty little secret…” she said under her breath. “I heard that. What’s that supposed to mean?” “What did you mean?” “God, I don’t get you,” he said more to himself than to her as he looked off to the side and shook his head exasperatedly. “Why did you ask me to come with you, then?” “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Right,” she nodded, pursing her lips. She was angry. Angry that he was so difficult, angry that she was hurt, angry that he was always turning things upside down - angry that she loved him so damned much. “I was trying to save you from going into sugar shock,” he said. Dammit, just when she wanted to be mad at him… “Yeah, I guess I should thank you for that,” she said softly, trying to bite back a smile. “I can’t believe he’s marrying her,” he said, shaking his head again. How did they go from an argument to this? “Well, they seem to be really in love…” “Love,” he snorted. “What?” “Come on, love? What is love, anyway?” his tone was almost condescending. “What do you mean ‘what is love’? Love is what makes the world go ’round,” she bit back. “Yeah, whatever. Love is bullsh*t.” Suddenly, she was on the verge of tears. Love wasn’t bullsh*t. Love sucked, but it wasn’t bullsh*t. She was in love with him, and she knew it, at that moment, she realized just how much in love she was – the pain his words brought proved it. Trying to steel herself, she sat up straight. This thing with him would go away eventually, she didn’t need to let it get to her like this. Michael Guerin wasn’t the most important thing in her life. She swallowed hard, and tried to keep her mouth closed. Tried not to say something that would only make the hurt worse. Her words came out of their own volition, soft and low, “Love isn’t bullsh*t.” He didn’t speak, but she could feel his eyes on her. She looked out the side window, not wanting to risk him seeing the tears she was holding back in her eyes. “How do you know?” His question caught her off guard. The tone he used wasn’t snide, it was normal, almost as if he wanted an answer. She continued to stare out the window. PART FIFTEEN “Ok, Abby, I’ll see you soon.” “Ok, Auntie Maria.” Maria smiled and hugged her niece again, but had to release her as the little girl started to squirm. “Have fun at the park,” Maria looked at Kyle with a small smile as she watched Abby run for her the backyard. “Yeah, we will,” he nodded, looking down at his shoes. She hated it that things were always this uncomfortable between them now. “Kyle…” she wanted to say something to make things the way that they used to be. He sighed and looked up at her, “I know, kid. You’re all grown up now, and you don’t need me anymore.” “You don’t need me anymore,” she replied, punching him on the shoulder. “I’ll always need you,” he looked up at her, and gave her a sad half-smile, “you and Abby, you’re the only family I’ve got. I know I checked out for a while, but...” She shook her head, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. All she’d come over to do was have breakfast with him and Abby, she hadn’t really been prepared for a heart to heart. Her voice was shaky when she finally spoke, “I know, you were just worried about me.” “I still am,” he said quickly. Maria smiled, and a tear slipped down her cheek, “I will maintain that I’m a big girl now.” He nodded, and laughed a little, “I know you are, but no matter how ‘big’ you get, I’ll always be your big brother.” “That’s good. I guess I’ll always need a big brother,” she smiled at him. “I guess you will,” he smiled back. They both looked down, and she felt relieved that things were clearing up between them. “I need to get going, though, I’ve got a half shift starting at noon,” she said, moving toward the door. “Ok,” Kyle said as he followed her. At the door, she turned quickly and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tightly for a moment, then walked away, wiping her tears as she walked to the bus stop. *** He watched her as she walked toward him. Chocolate mousse? What had he done to deserve that? Maria put the dish down in front of him, and he looked up at her questioningly. She’d hardly spoken to him in the past couple of weeks, so he didn’t like to be the first to break the silence. “It’s Saturday,” she shrugged as she sat in the chair across from him. Nodding, he picked up the spoon and started to eat as she watched him. He was a little surprised when his phone rang. No one ever called him. “Hello?” “ Michael?” Isabel sounded out of breath. “Iz?” “Yeah, I-I’m in labor. Aaaahh…,” she moaned softly into the phone. Michael pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, then glanced over at Maria, who was staring at him. Moving the phone back to his ear, he spoke slowly, “I think you should go to the hospital then.” Isabel sounded breathless again, “I am at the hospital. Things are just getting started, but I can’t get anyone on the phone. Max isn’t answering his digital, my parents are in Portland for my aunt’s birthday, and Alex is apparently in Vancouver for a weekend conference.” “Ok…” Michael said slowly. “Why would they all go out of town when you’re having a baby?” “I don’t know,” she sounded exasperated, “I’m not due for three more weeks, I didn’t think it would happen this soon.” “So, you’re all by yourself?” “Yes,” her voice was soft, and she sounded like a younger, scared version of herself. “I’m on my way.” “Thank you,” she said softly. He pulled his phone away from his ear again and clicked it off. Maria cleared her throat, “Uh, Isabel?” “Yeah,” he whispered. “No one’s in town?” she asked. “Apparently not.” “Convenient,” she said moving her head to the side slightly. “Very. I guess she’s not due for three more weeks, though.” “Right…” Maria looked skeptical. “What?” he asked. “I’m not making it up.” “I didn’t say you were. So, you’re going to go see her?” “Yeah…but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he ran a hand through his hair, suddenly realizing he didn’t even know what hospital she was at. His first instinct was to call Tess, but he knew that might be a little awkward for her. “Want me to go with you?” Maria asked. He looked up at her. “Uh, yeah. Are you serious?” “Of course I’m serious,” she said. “Let me go tell them I’m leaving, give me like two minutes.” “Thanks…” he said lamely as he she stood. She looked at him strangely for a moment, then nodded. *** “I hate hospitals,” he said as leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and examining his hands. “Yeah, me too,” she whispered. He glanced over at her, and then looked back at his hands. They’d been in the waiting room for nearly ten minutes waiting for the doctor to finish with Isabel. After several phone calls, she’d discovered what hospital Isabel was at, and they’d arrived just as Isabel was ending a phone call with her parents - they were on their way home from Portland. As soon as the phone call ended, they’d been shoed out so that the doctor could examine her. “Maria?” She looked up to see that Michael was standing, gesturing at the now open door of Isabel’s room. “Ok, sorry,” she said as she stood. “Hey – Michael, Maria!” They both looked to their left and saw Max hurrying down the hall. “About time you got here,” Michael said with a frown. “Sorry,” Max said, pausing to catch his breath. “Where is she?” “In there,” Michael pointed at the door and turned to go sit back down in the waiting area across from her room. Maria watched Max enter the room, then looked walked over to where Michael was sitting, “You’re not going in?” “He’s here, he can handle it,” Michael said, gesturing toward Isabel’s room. She sat down next to him again, and sat her purse down on the chair next to her. “I hate hospitals,” he said again, leaning back in the chair and letting his legs sprawl out in front of him. “ Me too,” she whispered, giving him a quick look. Maria studied his face. His eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back slightly. This was one of the few times she’d ever seen him this ill at ease. Of course, it seemed that anything involving Isabel made him this way. He sighed, and brought his hands up to his face, running them up into his hair, then pulling them back down again, letting them fall into his lap. Opening one eye, he looked at her. “Do you think she’ll be all right?” She nodded, and almost smiled at him, “People do this everyday.” “Right,” he nodded, closing his eyes and bringing his hands back to his face, whispering, “ everyday.” “Hey,” Max said, sitting down a chair across from them. “Thanks for, ah, coming.” Michael sat up and looked at his friend, “Yeah, no problem.” Maria smiled at Max and nodded, she had a feeling this was the first time Michael and Max had spoken since the incident at coffee. “What did the doctor say?” she asked. “Oh, that things are fine, and normal, but the baby’s definitely on it’s way. Should be a few more hours, though,” Max raised his eyebrows slightly and let out a small sigh. “Alex is in Canada, and his office doesn’t have a way of reaching him, the meetings are over for the day, and he’s not answering at his hotel. Apparently his mobile phone isn’t working up there.” “There’s no way to reach him?” Maria asked, feeling awful that Alex might miss the birth. No matter what was going on with him and Isabel, she didn’t think he seemed like the kind of guy who’d want to miss the birth of his child. “I don’t know what to do,” Max said, raising his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “Isabel said she had to talk to three different people to find out even that much. Their normal staff isn’t in on Saturdays.” “Do we know where he’s staying?” she wondered if maybe there would be some other way to reach him. “Yeah, the man Isabel talked to gave her the name, and she called and left a message for him there,” Max said, looking at her quizzically. “Maybe we could…” Maria looked over at Michael. She could see from the look on his face that he knew what she was thinking. “Uh, yeah, I guess,” he nodded at her, “but, wouldn’t it all be over by the time we got there and back? I mean a round trip would take at least seven or eight hours.” “The doctor said she thought the baby wouldn’t be here ‘til morning, things haven’t progressed very far,” Max said leaning forward slightly. “I know Isabel would be really grateful…” he looked at Michael. “Yeah, ok, I’ll go. Go get the name of the hotel,” Michael said. “Thanks,” Max said, giving him a genuine smile. Michael snorted after Max walked away, “Like there’s even a remote chance that I’ll find him.” “You never know,” Maria turned to look at him. “We might be able to find him.” “You don’t have to go,” he said. “No, I want to. Alex is sort of my friend, and I don’t think he’d want to miss this.” “We probably won’t find him.” “We’ll see,” she gave him a small smile. He rolled his eyes, and stood as Max walked toward them again. “She said to tell you thank you.” “Yeah, all right,” Michael nodded, taking the piece of paper Max held out to him. Maria stood, “Tell her to take care.” “You’re going to?” Max asked her. “Yeah…” she nodded, looking down at her feet, feeling a little silly. She’d been avoiding Liz’s calls since the incident, and she knew that both Liz and Max must be wondering what was going on between she and Michael. The fact that she was here at the hospital with him probably wasn’t helping their suspicions much. “Well, good luck,” Max said as he turned to re-enter Isabel’s room. *** “This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Michael muttered as he pulled onto the freeway. “Have a little faith, geez,” she said. “I’m sure that Alex was meant to be at the birth.” “ What?” he looked over at her as if she was crazy. He thought she must be crazy. Faith? Meant to be? Baloney. She seemed to be ignoring him, so he tried to keep his eyes on the road. After a few minutes, she reached for the radio, hitting the power button. They were both greeted by loud metal blaring over the speakers. Immediately her hand flew to the down volume button, pushing it repeatedly until it the music was barely audible. “You’re lucky you’re not deaf,” she said. “What?” he said, keeping his eyes on the road. “I said, you’re lucky you’re not deaf.” “ What?” “ I said-.” Apparently she heard the snicker he couldn’t hold back, because she let out a hiss. “Oh, ha-ha. Very funny,” she sat back in her seat crossing her arms in front of her. He ignored her pout and reached for the stereo, turning up the volume again, not as high as it had been, but high enough to be in what he considered ‘listening’ range. They rode like that for sometime, before she reached for the stereo again, this time turning it off of the cd he’d been listening to and switching to the radio tuner. After a moment, she landed on a pop station. “Oh, what is this?” he asked, irritated. His hand reached for the buttons, but she slapped it away. “No way, we listened to your noise long enough,” she said. He glared at her, “Well, anything but this. Christina Aguilera? Kill me now.” “How ‘bout I kill you later?” she quipped. “Ha-ha. Turn it.” She mumbled something he couldn’t quite catch, but she started flipping through the stations and finally settled on classic rock. He could live with that - for a while anyway. *** Maria had to admit they’d made amazingly good time. Of course, he’d driven like a maniac, but he got her there in one piece, so she really couldn’t complain. “That’s the place, right there,” she pointed at the building as they drove past the street is was on. “Uh, you passed it. “That was a one way street,” he said. “All right, so we go around the block?” “Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.” “What’s the plan exactly? We check his room, and if he’s not there, then what? We start combing local bistros, bars…?” she looked in his direction. “I don’t know,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I do this everyday. Like I said, needle in a haystack.” She sat back and waited until he came to a stop in front of the hotel, then quickly jumped out when the doorman opened the door for her. Behind her, she heard Michael say something to the valet about keeping the car close. Inside, she immediately walked past the front desk and headed for the elevators. She heard him come up behind her as she stood waiting for the doors to open. “Ok,” she said, glancing down at the paper. “Room 1125, so that should be the eleventh floor, right?” “I guess,” he said. She glanced back at him, he wasn’t being very helpful. They stepped onto the elevator when it arrived, and rode the eleven floors up in silence. The signs on the eleventh floor led them down first one hallway, then another before they finally came to a stop in front of 1125. “Well,” he said, looking at her, “knock.” “Why do I have to knock?” she asked. He rolled his eyes and rapped on the door. No answer, so he tried again, a little more forcefully this time. “Guess he’s not here,” he said after there was no response. “Now what?” She glanced first at him, then at the door, then took the side of her fist and began to pound on it, “Alex! Alex, are you in there?” Maria was fully aware that Michael was looking at her as if she was crazy, but she didn’t really care. She was going to be absolutely certain that Alex wasn’t just taking a nap with his phone off the hook before she gave up. Amazingly, the door opened. “What?” a very disheveled looking Alex asked as he peeked his head around the door. “Alex?” she asked pushing on the door. “Maria?” he squinted his eyes and blinked several times. “Uh, w-what’re you, uh, doing here…?” “It’s Isabel,” she told him, still trying to push the door open, “she’s in labor.” “What?” he asked, scratching his head clumsily. “Are you ok, Alex?” she asked, leaning toward him. Michael nudged her, and she glanced over at him. “Can’t you see,” he gestured at Alex who was still scratching his head, “he’s drunk off his ass.” *** “So, I’m gonna’ be a father,” Alex said a little too loudly from the backseat. Michael held his tongue. “Yes, Alex, that’s right,” Maria said in a placating tone. “I don’t th-think I’m ready yet, not ready for that.” “Well, I think it’s happening if you’re ready or not,” she said turning around to give the man in the back a smile. “Riiight,” Alex replied. Michael glanced in the rear view mirror and saw him nodding like an idiot. He heard Maria sigh as she rested her head against the window. “We can’t take him in there like this,” Michael said to her, jerking his thumb toward Alex. “I know,” her tone sounded weary as she nodded. He stared out at into the night. It was nearly ten, and they wouldn’t be there for another two hours still. Maybe Alex would be relatively sober by then. “Hey, man, none of your business where you take me,” Alex spoke, and Michael could tell the nonsensical comment was directed at him. “Whatever,” Michael replied. “Don’t like me, do ya’?” Alex asked him as he glanced in the rear view again. “Not especially, no,” he said, glancing up at the mirror to glare at the guy. Maria sighed again, a little louder this time, “Come on, there’s no point, he’s out of it.” “Wish she was still yours, don’t ya’?” Alex taunted him. “Alex,” Maria said sharply. “Please, why don’t you try to get some sleep?” Michael was fuming. He knew he should ignore the guy. “She didn’t want either of us, man,” Alex continued as if she hadn’t even spoken. “First, she lied to you, then to me. Lies man, all lies.” Maria let out an exasperated sound and massaged her forehead with her hand, shaking her head slightly. He glanced at her, and she looked back at him. She looked worried, and he realized suddenly that her worry was for him. That only seemed to make him feel worse. “Isabel, Isabel,” Alex started again from the back, “why did you let me love you?” “Good question,” Michael muttered. “Yeah,” Alex sounded excited, “I mean, I’m not worthy. I can’t believe she ever married me. Maybe it was only because of the baby.” “I’m sure that’s not true,” Maria said softly in response. “No, prob’ly not,” Alex agreed. “What do you think, Michael? Since you know her ooooooh so well.” “I think she married you because I talked her into it, you prick,” he said, unable to contain his anger. “What?” Alex asked. Maria had stilled completely and was looking at him. “Nothing,” he muttered, wishing he was at least mature enough to ignore a drunk. “She told me that you told her to wait until after the wedding to tell me,” Alex said. “Thanks a lot.” “Tell you what?” Maria asked. Michael wanted to tell her to ignore the guy, but he really didn’t have room to talk. “That she was still with loverboy up there when she met me. Oh, and that she was pregnant with his kid,” Alex stated, in an emotionless, matter-of-fact tone. Silence finally reigned in the car, and Michael felt completely humiliated. Now, she knew. Knew that Isabel had made a complete fool of him, knew what a sap he was. After several minutes, he finally felt Maria’s eyes shift from him back to Alex, “I don’t understand what that has to do with you, though, Alex.” “She didn’t tell me,” Alex said. “Lies. Everything about us was a lie. She was still with him, she was having his kid, he did paint her…” “Yeah,” Maria said softly, “I understand that it hurt that she lied to you, but did you need to end it?” “Eventually she would have left me, this way I left her.” Michael glanced at the guy in the rear view. That statement he actually understood. “Alex,” Maria’s tone was forceful, “I don’t know Isabel, but I know a woman in love, and that woman is in love with you. The way you were together…it was like magic.” Looking at her for a moment, Michael shook his head. She shouldn’t get involved, it wasn’t any of their business how those two wanted to f*ck up their lives. “She’s having my baby,” Alex said lamely, making it more of a stand alone statement than a response to Maria. “Yes,” Maria said encouragingly, “see, she loves you.” “She loves me, she’s having my baby,” Alex says slowly, as though he’s considering this for the first time. Michael finally let out the breath he’d been holding in a rushing woosh. Of course Isabel loves Alex, whatever love is – she was having his baby. Thoughts of other babies that she didn’t have with men she didn’t love entered his mind. Maria was watching him again, he could feel her eyes, and he wondered if she’d guessed it all now. Alex had told her basically everything, this last bit was just a completion of it. He hated it that she was watching him. Hated it, hated it. Glancing at the gas gauge, he made an excuse to exit the freeway and pull over at a station. He needed fresh air. |