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How to Keep Your Barriers

Disclaimer

This article is sarcasm. Although this article seems describe almost exactly how some people refuse legitimate accommodation, it is actually designed to show what not to do - barriers should be removed, not fought for.

The Problem

Have you ever been in a leadership position of an organization and been asked, "Can you remove this disabling barrier so I can participate fully?" The barrier might have been a wheelchair inaccessible entrance, lack of a TTY phone number, a condescending attitude, a name for a group of people, florescent lights, or something else entirely. There are times when this is just something you don't want to do - after all, we grow attached to our barriers (even in the disability rights community we often grow as attached to our barriers as non-disabled groups become to theirs - we just erect different barriers)!

We Can Help!

This guide will help! You, too, can preserve your cherished barriers and continue to prevent people from participating - all the while looking as if you care about people - and making it look like the person asking to you to change is just trying to destroy everything you worked for! Never fear having to look disrespectful again when you say "No, we don't care about your kind of people!" You can even continue to appear as someone who values the concepts of diversity and inclusion, if you do it right.

Key Phrases

There are several key phrases to use. I'll list several, although there are countless variations.

For each of these phrases, I've given some information about how it can best be used. I've also included usage examples. In these usage examples, I use "customer" and "business" to refer to an example situation, but I could have used "member" and "organization", "client" and "service provider", or a few dozen other variations. Feel free to apply these phrases to non-business situations!

General Tactics

There are also some tactics to use while employing the above phrases. These are best used in conjunction with the key phrases - it's best to use more then one method to preserve your barriers.

In Closing

Hopefully this guide has helped you preserve your prized barriers. Without this guide, many people would manage to use some of the key phrases and tactics on their own, but they would risk using a merely "good" tactic rather then the "best" one. With the help of this guide, you should be able to defeat even the strongest defender of social justice and the law!

Seriously...Any Suggestions?

If you have suggested corrections or additions to this guide, please send the text of such corrections/additions to joel@thiswayoflife.com. Please follow the general style used on this site if suggesting new material. I'm also glad to hear general ideas for phrases or tactics to include.