The following viruses have been detected in the company computer network, corridors and assorted broom cupboards. All employees please take note. There are reports of an ANIME virus, type-morphing. Though there is no current cure, our Head of the Pharmacuticals Department is working on it. (i.e. don't go near Nora's office...but i never said that)

The "Chief of the manufacturing of get out of jail for free cards" would like to know who took her only mint orgional copy of Jane Austen's complete works. She has threatened to set the Eelaron virus, type-pain, on the perpetrator unless they hand it back undamaged and without any finger prints all over it either...The situation is highly dangerous.

One of our Head Architect and Structual Designers, accidently sent the preliminary plans for the 'Fighter Fleas' to everyone on the network. If you recieve an e-mail with a subject of "Fighter Fleas, by An Yi" please do not open it unless you are a board member. If you do, your computer files will not be deleted except for the ones with your name on it and perhaps later on, you.

The Alegna virus, is not harmful though does cause hallucinations and general dillusionment. Often found in the paperclip holders, a vaccine can be administered by the Chief Medical Officer/Doctor/mAd SCienTISt. (i.e. Yada's just slightly busy right now, please leave a message after the beep (the 230 Hertz one...not the 100 Hertz one...obviously...)

Board member Rachel would like to remind everyone to stay away from floor 5 section Green Cabbage [soon to be renamed]. She and Tanja are still testing the ENIOEL elixr. Oh and they'd like to remind the person who stole the lab guinea pig *we know where you are...we're watching you...*

Carmen would like know if the Explosives Department have seen Mr Fluffy. He's multing...care should be taken by all asmhatics.

WARNING: The file email sent to all with subject "Ideas for Clair's birthday present" should be terminated immediately unless a board member not named clair, or else you will.

Oh and we've lost Reine....

Security

*message termination*