Possible Guthridge Replacements
Roy Williams is regarded by many to be the favorite son for the job. The current Kansas coach, Williams spent several years on the UNC bench as assistant, even helping to guide the Heels to their 1982 Championship. Though he certainly has continued the excellence of the Kansas program, why wouldn't he want to coach the Heels? The combination of Roy's energy and charisma with the allure, history, fans and facilities of Carolina make this a perfect match. It is hard to imagine any other program being able to compare to this package.
Roy Williams
George Karl is hailed by Heels fans across the country as an excellent potential successor to Gutheridge. Having starred as a point guard at North Carolina years ago, the gritty Harry and the Henderson's look-alike is a basketball mastermind. He guided the Sonics to their first NBA final (his record with the Sonics: 359-139) and steered the Bucks to a successful playoff berth. In addition, he was the West coach in the NBA All Star Game in 1998. On more than one occasion, he was quoted as saying "As for me and Carolina, coaching North Carolina has been a dream for me." Often spotted at various sporting events wearing UNC paraphernalia. In addition, he gets one year contracts with his NBA teams just in case NC comes calling. Utilizing a blend of basketball savvy, NBA knowledge and personability, Karl would bring our program back to the next level.
George Karl
Once rid of his Tse Tse flies, this monkey should be considered as a possible replacement. He offers the intensity that Gutheridge lacks and has demonstrated an ability to utilize primitive tools. Though goaltending was a problem when he was a player, it should not affect the team with Monkey as Carolina's skipper.
Monkey
Often an unpopular candidate for head coach at North Carolina due to his journeyman past, Larry Brown is regarded as one of the best teachers in the game. At NC, he was a great guard in the early 1960s, and the first Carolina player to play in the Olympics. He was also an assistant under Dean-O and a three time All Star in the ABA. Before moving on to the NBA, he took the University of Kansas (an 8 seed in their bracket) to the NCAA Championship in 1988, so we know that he can win at this level. Presently, he is the head coach of the 76'ers where he has managed to blend oversized egos with youthful talent to be an NBA playoff contender. In the offseason, his excellent coaching skills ensure that he is constantly pursued by NBA teams.
Larry Brown
Though unknown to most of the present day Carolina fans, Doug Moe was one of the best players in Carolina history, making the All-ACC team twice and the first-team All-America team in 1961. His basketball knowledge stems from his time under the tutelage of Carolina's own highly-regarded Frank McGuire. According to tarheelblue.com, "in speaking of Moe, former N.C. State head coach Everett Case said, 'He's the best ... at anything ... that's all there is to it.'" After his time playing at UNC, Moe was twice European Player of the Year and a three-time ABA all-star. For 15 years he was the coach of the Spurs, Sixers and Nuggets and even named coach of the year in 1988.
Doug Moe
The legend of Carolina Basketball needs no introduction. With 879 wins, he is simply the winningest coach of all time. He brought 2 national championships to North Carolina and produced several of the best NBA players of all time. I say bring him back and so should you.
Dean Smith
Mike O'Koren is also one of the best players in the history of North Carolina hoops. Following his career at North Carolina, he O'Koren played 8 NBA seasons with the Nets and the Bullets. At the present time, he holds a position in the Nets front office, making key personnel decisions. Obviously someone so familiar with both the spirit of NC basketball and the high level decisions of running a team would be a welcome addition to the NC program.
Mike O'Koren
Quickly rising in the minds of Heels fans everywhere, Matt Doherty is the young stud who is most likely to ascend to the throne of NC hoops as our pain continues. His resume includes being a key player on the 1982 Championship team, being a main assistant to Roy Williams in Kansas, and now, leading Notre Dame to what can only be considered a turn around season. In fact, only one year after they had been forgotten in the word of college basketball, Doherty was able to revive the program utilizing a minimal talent base. With 2 wins over defending champ Uconn and a win over Top 5 Ohio State in Columbus, Doherty has already demonstrated that he belongs in the ranks of the coaching elite. In one season, he reversed the direction of an eroding program, only narrowly missing an NCAA bid (they are more than likely the last team to not be selected by the Committee). With his roots firmly entrenched in Carolina hoops and the confidence of a winner, Doherty would bring an immediate rejuvenation to Chapel Hill and ensure a long term success at the helm of Carolina Hoops. Unquestionably, he would lead UNC to its deserved prominence and establish it once and for all as the best program of all time.
Matt Doherty
Well known in the circles of college basketball fans, Buzz Peterson is rising as a potential successor to Guthridge. The energetic former Heel played on the 1982 team, was roommates (and best friends) with Jordan, and is a dynamic young coach. Undoubtedly, his youth and approach would be key characteristics for Buzz as he recruited the next generation of NC players.
Buzz Peterson
A virtual unknown in the world of basketball, Mike Jordan is a former player from Laney HS. It has been rumored that the NC Athletics department may try their luck with this youngster and bring him to the helm of the NC program.
Mike Jordan
Constantly overlooked in the world of coaching, Skeleton would bring more life to the team is than presently being done. Though often confused with Mike Dunleavy, Jr., Skeleton's coaching prowess continues off the court and into the classroom. As opposed to Gutheridge, this figure actually teaches when it just stands there. Not recommended for kids under 8 years of age.
Skeleton
Masooso, the Eritrean Villager, brings a lot to the table, figuratively speaking of course. Though unable to push a cart and roll this wheel at the same time, those who have seen him perform assure all others that he works magic with any willing squad of players. The array of clicks he makes with his tongue are said to throw off even the most prepared teams and serve as a rallying cry for his athletes.
Masooso
For years, this Tweety Bird Watch has delighted fans of all ages. However, don't let its enlarged eyes and innocently sloping forehead trick you, TB Watch is a fearsome competitor. Once introduced to his system of play, there is no other.
This Tweety Bird Watch
Sure to break an NCAA rule or two, Gunslinger does not lack for heart. Many a man has told him that he does and many a man has taken a dusty dirt nap. If disarmed, showered and despurred before a game, Gunslinger is a comely vision on the bench, reminding many of Dr. Naismith himself. Besides the unfortunate incident where he was caught giving a stagecoach to a player, Gunslinger has a relatively clean record.
Gunslinger
Though typically not this enticing when sitting on a grey metallic chair necessary for coaching, these Mango slices deliver a lot of intangibles to the sideline. In fact, many who watch this Bowl of Mango slices in action swear that he leaves a good taste in their mouths for days after. Obviously, this serves as a stark contrast to the present NC coaching where almost all spectators have commented about how they feel "Hurl-a-riffic" after a game.
Bowl of Mango slices (pictured with former mentor entire mango)
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Kenny Rogers
Bill's twin brother Phil has been at the helm of a team in Albania for years. While they haven't spoken for over a decade, Phil maintains that he is quite different from his brother. Seen here trying to put the insides of his palms over his mouth to make a loud fade farting sound during a game, Phil has been known to stomp his foot at a call, take off his jacket during a time out at uncomfortable temperatures and shine the light from his Ironman watch directly in the eyes of the timekeeper. If rumors about his use of a non-indoor voice are true, that is certainly a step up from the present situation.
Phil Guthridge
Though no one has ever seen his face directly, Marvette is reknowned internationally as a great motivator. Pictured here taking a conference tournament loss especially bad, Marvette is not one to detach from his team. He is constantly striving for improvement of his teams and breaking down the game to its simplest elements. Hopefully, Marvette would stay in the coaching ranks even after he gets .35 cents for bus fare to see his sick sister in Dallas.
Marvette, the Homeless guy
Reknowned as very resourceful, this dog would prosper as the head of any program and vice versa. Legend has it that during a 20 point deficit to Temple in 1981's Classic, Wrinkles determined and incessant tail-wagging inspired his players to peak performance. By half-time the lead was cut to 7….and that is all that needs to be said about that. Only slightly less-wrinkled than Gutheridge, Wrinkles has a lot in common with today's youth, many former players have even gone so far as to call him their "best friend."
Wrinkles
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