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The series begins as we follow entrepreneurs Dr. Mickey Mallard and his buddy Loomis as they concoct yet another harebrained scheme to swindle some pore trusting soul or otherwise make their fortune. This time they are jumping into the lucrative bidness of septic tank pumping out and hauling it around town. Butt life is not all sweetness and light on their road to riches. They soon encounter one roadblock after another....
Staffing the enterprise
In the first episode, Loomis puts on the human resources cap and interviews candidates for the Executive Vice President position. On gut feeling, he is leaning toward hiring self-made-man Live Bait McKinney. McKinney immediately passes Loomis $20 under the table. That seals the deal and Loomis hires him on the spot.
Distribution and logistics
As Executive Vice President, McKinney is put in charge of special projects. His first project -- fix and then drive the truck.
Loomis sends McKinney out to pump out their first septic tank, reminding him not to forget to bring back some KFC on the way back. Being an equal opportunity employer (EOE), Loomis knew that he could not consider in his hiring decision the fact that McKinney had three obvious disabilities -- (1) a lead foot, (2) fifteen outstanding warrants and (3) a face that could (and did) stop a charging bull.
Getting down to bidness basics
With McKinney out on his first assignment, Loomis meets with Dr. Mallard in the executive conference room -- the one with the big plate glass window. After downing a few bottles of Papst Blue Ribbon, they finalize their new bidness plan by eventually coming up with clever replacement words to substitute for "embezzle," "swindle" and "blatant fraud."
First sign of a flaw in the hiring process
After about an hour, McKinney returns with the oversized tank filled with septic tank pumpings -- plus a bucket of KFC. He had figgered he didn't need to tie the truck's tank down since it was completely full. Brimming with the energy and excitement of being an Executive Vice President, McKinney backs the truck up too fast, mistakes the plate glass window for the loading dock and smashes right into the building. He slams on the brakes and both the bucket of KFC and the tank on the back of the truck come loose, crash into the window, and the tank wedges itself halfway into the conference room.
Safety training
As the tank begins to empty out into the conference room, Loomis panics and, to drown out the stink, strikes a match. The resulting explosion propels both Loomis and Dr. Mickey Mallard head-first into the tank, along with the bucket of KFC. The tank then acts like a Class A Chinese bottle rocket, bounces off McKinney and lands on the truck. Loomis and Dr. Mallard remain stuck inside the tank (with the KFC) for 48 hours.
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The series continues....
THE NEW ENTREPRENEURS continues next week at this same time with Part 2 -- Executive Fringe Benefits . Follow Dr. Mickey Mallard, Loomis and Live Bait McKinney as they spend the day working down in the trenches where they explore the ins and outs of their fringe benefits packages. Part 14 will demonstrate how Dr. Mallard and Loomis manage their bidness while spending time in the pokey.
http://www.pbs.org/monkey-bidness
Git the hole 15-part series on 8-track tape for only $19.95!
Part 1 or 15 -- Starting a New Enterprise
Part 2 or 15 -- Executive Fringe Benefits
Part 3 or 15 -- Sick Leave -- the Stealth Vacation
Part 4 or 15 -- Installing Slot Machines in the Break Room
Part 5 or 15 -- How to Pay Off the Health Dept. Inspector
Part 6 or 15 -- Bypassing the Electric Meter
Part 7 or 15 -- Syphoning Gas from your Employees
Part 8 or 15 -- Hush Money: When to Use It
Part 9 or 15 -- Income Tax is for Sissies
Part 10 or 15 -- Industrial Espionage Can Be Fun
Part 11 or 15 -- How to Perfect a Ponzi Scheme
Part 12 or 15 -- Selling to your Friends and Relatives
Part 13 or 15 -- Learn Marketing Tips from AmWay
Part 14 or 15 -- Managing Yore Bidness from the Pokey
Part 15 or 15 -- A Career as a Jailhouse Squealer
Plus, if you order today, you'll get a bonus tape...
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