(Faure - "Pavane")
Devise a Schedule of Positive Self-care
Recovery does not happen by magic; it involves hard work, for example, facing unpleasant memories instead of avoiding them.
To be successful and to accelerate your own healing so that you can feel more in control of your life, it is very important to commit yourself to a schedule of positive self-care throughout the recovery process. This should include:
* Allowing yourself time for your recovery work
* Setting aside time for relaxation and nurturing
* Keeping a notebook throughout your journey of recovery
* Sticking to the contract that you make with yourself
* Taking personal responsibility for ensuring your own safety
* Controlling destructive impulses, not indulging suicidal thoughts (or seeking immediate professional help if they persist)
* Removing anything dangerous or potentially harmful from your home
*Not abusing alcohol or any drugs.
Identify which obstacles you need to remove or which things in your life you must change so that you will be ready to commit to this schedule of positive self-care.
Make a Contract With Yourself
The first thing that you should set down in your new notebook is a contract with yourself. This will help you start off with the best recovery conditions for yourself.
Read and work through these steps to assist in making this contract with yourself.
1. Take some time to think about what your life is like at the moment. Think about all those things that might make it difficult for you to commit yourself to your own process of recovery.
a. First, think about all the external obstacles that might stand in your way of recovery. These might include: too little time in the day; too many conflicting pressures due to other commitments, like work or children; other people or partners are not supportive; physically you can't get about very well at the moment; you use alcohol or drugs to help you cope with your pain, etc. Write these down.
b. Second, think about all the internal obstacles that might be hindering you in your process of recovery. These might be: being too fearful of change; lacking in motivation an energy; being too critical and undermining yourself; never", giving yourself praise for any of your achievements, etc. Write these down.
2. Now look at all the obstacles that you have identified and ask yourself how vou could reorganize or change aspects of your life to reduce some of these obstacles. For example, if you have too little time in your day, you might need to think about your real priorities at the moment. You may find that your own process of recovery is rather more important than some of those other things that have occupied so much time and become part of your routine. If this is the case, work on restructuring your time and reorganizing your activities.
a. If other people or your partner are not supportive, think of ways in which they might become more supportive of you. For example, do they really understand what you are going through at the moment? Even if you find that they remain unsupportive, you can still think about ways in which you could succeed without their help.
b. If you know that you are too critical arid undermining of yourself, make a commitment to monitor the times when you tell yourself off or think badly about yourself Keep a record and write down the critical or negative things that you say to yourself. Ask yourself if saying these things makes it more likely that you will succeed with your tasks or less likely? Then try and say something to yourself that gives you a better chance of success. For example, you might say, 'I can only try and do my best under the circumstances?.
You may not be able to lift every obstacle that stands in your way, but try to remove as many as you can at the outset of your recovery process. Write down what changes you want to make to remove as many obstacles as possible, and how and when you intend to make these changes.
3. Now make a list of promises to yourself that will aid in your process of recovery. These may well be things that you are not doing at the moment.
Your list might look like this:
a. I promise to commit myself to my own process of recovery. I will try to make those changes that feel helpful to me and set aside time to do so.
b. I promise to be honest with myself, even if this means facing things that require more effort from me or feelings that are a little uncomfortable.
c. I will give myself a chance and persevere in my efforts. 1 understand that the process of recovery will take time and I will allow myself as much time as I need for this. 1 will not expect techniques to work the first time I use them, but 1 will stick with them and try them out over a longer period of time. I will tailor them to fit my own needs and situation.
d. I will listen to myself and recognize my limits. 1 will not push myself unduly and will pace myself in my efforts. 1 know that it is better to work at things in a steady and planned way rather than trying to solve everything at once.
e. I will give myself regular breaks and time off or relaxation or nurturing activities. 1 will aim to achieve a healthy balance in my life, where I take regular breaks and pursue activities that are nurturing and relaxing for myself. These will help me in my process of recovery.
f. I promise to do those things that are helpful to me and not those that could put me or other people in danger. This includes a promise to myself that 1 will not use alcohol or drugs to block out my feelings of pain or discomfort.
(Faure - "Pavane")