* * Prologue * *


One thing that I’ve come to learn in my brief span of existence is that, ‘Life is not constant.’ If anybody had told me back when I was still living with my family that I would at one point in my life fall in love with someone that was totally wrong for me and that I would wrap my whole life around his, I would have just laughed in their face. I would have said, ‘Who me? I am my own person. Never would I be one to conform.’

Then I met him.

I’m glad no one told me that because now I don’t have anyone laughing in my face telling me that they told me so. That’s never a good feeling. And believe me at this time in my life I need every happy feeling I can get, no matter how small. Ever since high school my life has been one big roller coaster that never seemed to go in any direction but down.

Never asked for too much.

I didn’t ask for much out of life. All I wanted was for him to love me as much as I loved him. And I thought that I had obtained that. Boy was I ever wrong.

All roads led to the truth.

Though all the signs had been there I didn’t heed them. It took one major act of betrayal before my eyes were opened to the truth that was staring me in my face for the past four years.

Love wasn’t on my side.

He didn’t love me. He never loved me. It was her love that he was seeking all along. I was just in the way. She was oblivious to all that he wanted from her. I wasn’t.

Can’t blame it on the rain.

I know now that it was partly my fault that I’m in this predicament. No, who am I kidding it was totally my fault. I’ve always wanted him and even knowing that he was in love with her I just had to have him.

Friends is constant unless destroyed.

I would have done anything in my power to have him and I did. I wrecked a wonderful friendship for my own selfish reasons. And now it’s all coming back to bite me in the ass.

Stupid is as stupid does.

I was a stupid ass for thinking that I could make him forget her. I always knew in the back of my mind that she would always be apart of him. I just never thought that she would grow some balls and take back what rightfully belonged to her.

Death is negotiatable.

Now, thanks to my belief that I was his one true love, I am sitting in my car on a lonely deserted road debating on whether I should end my pitiful existence in this world.