* * Epilogue - Death is Negotiatable * *


I was under the belief that I was his true love and their act of passion and betrayal made me realize that I was just a path that he was tricked into following. He finally found the right path leaving me with nothing but the pieces of my broken life. What did I have to live for?

As I debated heavily with myself I looked down at the gun that I held in my hands. I was nothing without his love. I planned my whole life around being his wife. I never thought that I would be anything but his wife. Why did she have to come back and ruin it all for me? Why couldn’t he love me at least a little?

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry


One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry


Cry.....

I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry


One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I goota put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...

“Maria, don’t. It’s not worth it.”

With a shocked gasp I dropped the gun. “Damn you. You scared the shit out of me.”

“You’re scaring me by sitting in this car and holding that thing. Are you thinking about Ashleigh at all? What’s she going to do when she hears that her mom committed suicide?”

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. “I don’t know Max. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. He…. She….”

“Shh, baby I know. I tried to warn you. Ever since high school, I knew that you loved him. But I was his friend and I knew that he didn’t love you Maria. I tried to tell you.”

“I… I thought I could make him love me. I thought that if she was out of the picture that he would forget about her.”

“You were wrong and you have to live with that. But you can’t let it kill you Maria. You have a beautiful little girl to think of. And she’s going to need her mommy really bad.”

“She’s not going to need me once she finds out the evil things I’ve done.”

“She will, believe me she will.” He took the gun away from he and threw it away into the desert. “Kyle and Tess are in love with each other and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ve already tried and look where it’s gotten you. Give up Maria. Let him go. You don’t need him to define who you are. You don’t need anyone. What happened to the strong girl who believed that friendship could conquer all?”

I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his neck. “I killed her a long time ago. She’s dead Max.”

“No she isn’t. She just needs a little nudge to find her way out of hiding.” He pulled her back from him and wiped the tears from her face. “Don’t let them see you cry. You have some things that you need to take care of. And you need to do it with dignity.”

I nodded. He was right. I had some apologizing to do and forgiveness to ask for. It wasn’t going to be easy but it was a step in the right direction.

With a breath of fortification I looked up into the eyes of the person who deserved the most apologies. “Max, will you forgive me for denying you the right to claim your child as your own? Will you forgive me for being so blind to the things that were right in front of my face all along?”

He smiled slowly at me. “I already have Maria. I forgave you a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to forgive yourself.”

I took his hand in mine and together we set off to right all the wrongs that I’ve made in my life.

THE END