Today I taught Aunt Annie how to make omlettes. She was so excited she made 3 and brought them over to A-ma's to let her try some. I also made salsa, but used too much onion, so I don't think it's going to turn out too well...

Today is Thanksgiving. Went with Joyce to the Italian restaurant and was very pleased with the filet mignon-- imagine! decent fm and a full meal for only ~$13US. Not bad. Hers was just ok, but I felt it was still authentic Italian. Wine wasn't the best, but still drinkable (just some vin de fruit). Cappuccino was great as was the cheesecake! Finally! real cheesecake! This is hard to find in Lotung. So good... I wanna go again!

Tonight chatted with Lynne (she and I met at K-State and co-founded the Anime and Manga Society together). Really nice girl. Since she's so close by [in Japan teaching English for JET], I should visit her ;)

oh.... so c-c-cold!... I can't sleep it's so cold. And after reaching The Meaning of Life website, thoughts are churning in my head... and I'm thinking that if there is nothing after death, then I can do anything. I really can. I am free. Nothing matters. I could never see my parents again. I could give birth and abandon multiple children... it wouldn't matter... and the violence and hate... so now I know why I am violent and why I hate, but will this knowledge be enough to change me??? It's true, you must decide for yourself to be happy and I do believe that the only real meaning in life is to fulfill your potential.. though even *that* doesn't matter cuz after you die... well, it just doesn't matter. It's all good.

I spent $33NT for 3 pastry breads.

Went to see my friend, Ah-Ji today to tell her I can't go out tonight, but her tea shop was closed, so I ate at a nearby noodle shop and had dry noodles... omg, sooo good. and for less than a $1US.

Was bored around 9:30pm, so went bike riding in search of the Thai bar Ah-Ji told me expats patronized. Went there, but not only was it a restaurant, it was completely empty! The owner told me of a bar around the Sports Park that expats frequented, so I went there for a look-see. Eh, older ugly men and women, so I left and called Ah-Ji. She said everyone was waiting for me, so I went over there, ordered a black tea and was introduced to a few of her friends. The first was a 19 yr old with silver star earrings. Then came a girl with blue shades, mini skirt, a striped sleeve, and an obnoxious blinking tick when she spoke. There were 2 other girls, one with Ronald McDonald red hair and a matching clown outfit, another non-descript one.

Anyway, since the 19 yr old and I had to be back early, she took me on her scooter to another town 1/2 hr away to a club. The 'rave' music was actually decent with some Kelly Minogue, but the weird part was everyone lines up (like in a country line dance) in front of a mirrored wall then either shake their head in figure 8s or rock from side to side! So strange! So of course I had to school them.

didn't run... spent the entire day being lazy and didn't even bother to shower or go out. A-ma asked me if I had showered and when I told her I hadn't, she said she didn't believe me. I still can't make up my mind to be annoyed or amused.

I am definitely going to eat at that noodle place again.. soooo good! I love food! I'm going to submit my mandarin salad dressing recipe to allrecipes.com. That is my favorite website of the month :D I checked out their features for Thanksgiving and enjoyed the wine/food pairing article.

I drank a bowl of that red wine, so now I'm tipsy... white before reds... I do miss the restaurants in Phx. The nice ones... I had a really good time that night with Jess at the Crocodile Cafe. Too bad I didn't take any pictures... but here's one of Jess and I at the Melting Pot in Scottsdale.

I love that restaurant!

~~~~> but really... I wonder why I'm eating so much? I'm probably lacking some vitamins... or maybe b/c of the cold?

In the quietness of this upper room, I am facing my death and questioning my life. Have I really done everything I want to do? I have at most, outside of an accident, 40 years left and I feel as tho I've wasted the first 30 years. What use have I been? What good have I done? I know these are questions everyone struggles w/ from time to time... but more than anything, I question everything I have been striving for, everything I have worked to accomplish. Should I bother to keep my figure? Should I bother to educate my mind? If the meaning of life is simply to be and to be happy, what can I do? Without a goal to strive for, to struggle for, to suffer for, what else is there in life? The only answer I've found so far are (1) children and (2) happiness... but what else? I suppose it doesn't really matter in the cosmic sense, but in my own little universe, in the bubble of my making called my life, I'd like to find something that finally matters to me.